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Topic: got my refund but...

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Subject: got my refund but...
Date Posted: 6/17/2008 3:23 PM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2007
Posts: 16
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I rec'd a book with a problem (staining), marked it in the system RWP and sent a polite and apologetic pm requesting credit... I got a speedy credit refund for a wish list requested book but some nasty insinuations that I misrepresented the book (happy to post pics btw) basically calling me a liar and a request not to order from them in the future. I am fine with not having future swaps with this person but suggesting that I am a liar is rankling a bit I must say... So should I report this person who is being rather nasty (abuse?) but refunded my credit or should I just let it go? Thanks for reading...
Date Posted: 6/17/2008 3:31 PM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2007
Posts: 5,526
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I'd probably just let it go and chalk it up to someone having a bad day.  If there were multiple rude messages then maybe. 

Date Posted: 6/17/2008 4:06 PM ET
Member Since: 1/26/2006
Posts: 318
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I think I would just let it go too.  At least you got your credit back :)

Date Posted: 6/17/2008 5:35 PM ET
Member Since: 6/4/2007
Posts: 2,941
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I've had a few people react like this over damaged books.  Some of them have argued that they had no problem reading despite the unpostable condiition, or that that's how they got the book, or that it is a used book site after all.  I chalk it up to an inability to take responsibility, or a dislike of having been caught/accused of doing something wrong.  Yeah, it stings when instead of owning up to their mistake you are instead painted as a liar just out for free credits, but consider the source.  This is a person who didn't follow the rules and who had to turn it around on you to stay at peace with that fact.  It's not like their saying so makes you a liar.  You did what you were supposed to do, and in the end it still worked out for you just the way the rules are designed to do.  Unless they said some truly inappropriate or foul things I'd just let it go.  If they repeat their behavior they'll get the same reaction from others as they have from you, which would make their swapping experience bad enough.  Not to mention the fact that problem swaps add up behind the scenes and can produce results on their own.  Hopefully you can just let it run it's course and shake it off.  I find this type of swapper to be rather few and far between.

Date Posted: 6/17/2008 6:46 PM ET
Member Since: 1/1/2006
Posts: 547
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It's been a year and a half since the moron pmed me with the accusation that I didn't mail out a book, on a Sunday afternoon 7 days after it was marked mailed.  All the other books mailed the same day were received on Monday, but this book went lost and was marked received the day AFTER it went lost.  I vowed to never read that author again because that was all that was on this guy's wishlist and I didn't want my books to ever get never him.  I still get peeved thinking about the PMs he sent me.  Jerk.

But I never reported the guy.  I just moved on with my life.  And I only think of him when I need to share my PBS horror story.  Unless your person is abusive, I would let it go.  If they are abusive, you need to report them to TPTB.


Date Posted: 6/18/2008 1:43 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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Ok, I guess I'll present the opposing opinion ... I'm sorry you had such a negative experience, Melissa.

Rude/abusive PMs should reported to the site owners, via the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of any PBS page.  If they really are just having a bad day and it is an isolated event, it won't threaten their account, they'll just get a polite reminder to play nicely, and hopefully next time they'll count to 20 before hitting "send".  Personally I would call PMs to the tune of "you lied about the book's condition to get back your credit" to be abusive.

If this is not an isolated event (and there seems to be a recent string of these reports, coupled with a new user complaining that folks are complaining about her "free" books too much), it will give the sender an opportunity to be reminded of the rules and, if appropriate, get them weeded out if they are constantly harassing other members. 

Members should not try to intimidate other members into not reporting problem transactions, which is what this member is doing.  That just allows folks to send out bad books, and keep doing it, and that's not good for the 98% of members who do follow the rules.



Last Edited on: 6/18/08 1:44 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/18/2008 4:35 PM ET
Member Since: 10/21/2007
Posts: 3,430
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I agree with Catt. 

Date Posted: 6/20/2008 4:04 AM ET
Member Since: 10/5/2006
Posts: 34
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Calling someone a liar is not abusive.  It is mean and rude, but not abusive.  The person gave you the credit back.   They may have insinuated that they did not believe they mailed an unpostable book, but that in itself is not abusive.  If the person continuously pm's you without any reason, that is abusive.  If the worst thing that happened in your day was an anonymous person sent you a mean email, consider yourself lucky.