Discussion Forums - Questions about PaperBackSwap Questions about PaperBackSwap

Topic: this is rude, no?

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: this is rude, no?
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 9:33 AM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2009
Posts: 248
Back To Top

I mailed a book with DC on 9/4. The DC# says it delivered, September 14. I PMed the receiver saying USPS showed it delivered. The person has read the PM but has not responded or marked the book mailed.

I am overly sensitive or is this rude? I totally understand if the guy in on vacation or at work when he read it or something, but if you can read my PM at least respond and say "I am at work but I am sure it is waiting in my mail box. I will mark it as received as soon as I get home and make sure."

Opinions, thoughts...

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 9:41 AM ET
Member Since: 6/30/2007
Posts: 2,387
Back To Top

But if he's on vacation/not at home he may not be able to respond that he's received it.  Some folks like to have it in hand, just in case.  Or it may not be delivered to him yet.  I think some of the DC scans occur at the final PO before it's physically delivered, not at the person's mailbox.

ETA, I don't know if viewing the 'read/unread' PM's is 100% accurate.  I would just wait another day or so since not everyone is able to respond quickly.



Last Edited on: 9/17/09 9:44 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 9:48 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

Well that delivered on 9/14 doesn't mean it's made it to him yet. (Heck I have a book that shows delivered to me on 1/8 and I have never seen it).  My local PO scans them at the PO and sometimes they do't show up for a week afterwards.  I find PMs asking me why I haven't marked a book received when DC shows it was delivered really annoying. But I would have responded with a "because I haven't received the book yet, please stop bothering me". 

If the DC was scanned you already got your credit and there is no need to PM this person.  Unless you didn't use PBS DC in which case you wasted your money paying for DC to guarantee the credit.

Sorry I don't mean to sound snippy.  But I have been pm'd by people a few times now when I have not received the book. 

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 9:52 AM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2009
Posts: 248
Back To Top

I wasn't asking him to mark it received unless he received it. I just checked the PBS DC (yes, PBS DC) and it said delivered so I wanted to make sure he got it. Not to get a credit (bc I already got one) but to make sure he did get it.

I guess I am unsure why asking if someone received is rude and annoying. I think it shows the person actually cares if you received it or not.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 10:26 AM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,185
Back To Top

I usually wait a week to 10 days after the DC shows it delivered and PM them asking if they did in fact receive it or I will start the paperwork with the USPS to track what they did with it while they might still remember. I think that gives enough time for the delivery by the POs who don't process mail correctly and mark it delivered when they still have it. Every time I have PMed, they've had the book.

Mary - you should really complain to your PO. They are incorrectly using Delivered when they should be using Arrival At Unit. They are not supposed to be doing that.

Most people on the site do believe it is rude to bug the receiver if you used DC since you've already gotten your credit. I want my books to make it where they are supposed, the credit isn't the main thing to me so I will check to see what happened to a book.



Last Edited on: 9/17/09 10:26 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 10:29 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

I guess I find it rude because PBS also sends reminders.  So it's like getting nagged to mark a book received when you haven't gotten it yet. 

And from what I've seen on here-few PO's scan them delivered at the mail box. It seems that most of them do it at the local distribution center or PO.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 10:42 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 387
Back To Top

I even get annoyed with PBS when they send me emails asking me to mark the book received.  I mark the book received when I get the book.  PMing that the DC says it has been delivered almost seems like a passive aggressive way of asking why haven't you marked it received yet.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 10:55 AM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2007
Posts: 8,139
Back To Top

If you used PBS DC, what does it matter? The system shows that the DC was marked delivered by the post office, and you already have your credit. Why pester the other member to mark it received? Just let it go.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 12:04 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
Back To Top

Had it been me, and I had not recieved the book, I may have been a bit annoyed by your message, and not responded. As someone else mentioned, PBS sends out these reminders for you, so when you send a message as well, it can feel a bit like harassment, even though that isn't what you intended. 

You used DC, you already have your credit, they may not yet have their book, I'd be willing to bet they are feeling just as miffed as you are right now. 

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 12:39 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,662
Back To Top

I don't consider the "act" of sending a PM to ever be rude. The only thing rude about a PM is the contents. If you send a polite note to someone, there is no reson why they shouldn't respond politely back. But ... PBS does say that the time period that you should give someone to respond to a PM is a week. So, keep that in mind.

I always PM the requestor of a book, if it hasn't been marked Received, about 3 or 4 days before it is scheduled to go "lost". I do not contact them before this, however.

As other people have noted, it may be more polite to wait longer before you start PMing the recipient. Scans can be wrong, the book could have been "delivered" ... to a neighbor, they could be on vacation, etc. If I were you, I would wait until a few days before the book is about to go lost. There could be many other reasons why they haven't marked it received. Maybe they only have computer access at the library, or something like that.

Each of the 4 times that I have PM'd a recipient about ab book about to go lost,  the person had already received the book (one person 2 weeks previous), and had not marked it "received" due to various excuses which they told me.

I don't think it matters as to whether or not you use DC. As it happens, I usually don't, so I would have been out my credit due to the negligence of these requestors.

But, if I had used DC for these book requests, then when they went lost, PBS would have refunded the credit to the requestors, even though they had actually received the books and were forgetting to mark received. These credits come out of PBS's pocket, and if people are receiving them in error, I have a huge interest in that ... because credits aren't "free", even to PBS. They have a monetary value, and legally PBS can't just go around "making credits" ... they have to have $ or a book behind them. And, the more it "costs" PBS to do business, the less likely it is that PBS will remain free of the dreaded "annual fee" that I have seen mentioned.

Also, about the emails that PBS sends, I configure my email to filter my mail, as many, many people do ... and I auto delete all PBS emails without ever seeing them. I conduct all my PBS business by logging into the site and responding accordingly. The 4 requestors that I contacted MAY OR MAY NOT have been receiving the emails, which did not cause them to respond. BUT, when I PM'd them, they responded quickly, in all cases.



Last Edited on: 9/17/09 12:42 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 2:41 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,167
Back To Top

My PO scans upon delivery, but apparently that's not always the case.  I would wait at least a week before contacting the receiver, and even then it's optional because your credit has already been transferred.  It's annoying when receiving members don't log books in, but that's for PBS to handle - your credit is safe and records show you mailed and the book was delivered. 

I mailed to a member just a few miles away, and she waited almost two weeks to mark the book received.  Yes I eventually pm'd and she admitted she had the book....but she had been 'busy' and still didn't log the book in for another week.  Since then, I use DC for most transactions.



Last Edited on: 9/17/09 2:43 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Geri (geejay) -
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 2:55 PM ET
Member Since: 9/2/2008
Posts: 9,088
Back To Top

I use PBS/DC and will watch to see if a book has been delivered.  I just get antsy - did they get it - is it lost?  Obviously it's not just me others are saying the same thing here.  I realize it doesn't matter, I have my credit.  I think I want to know if they received the book because I don't want anyone to think badly of me.  Did that rotten person not send my book?

I've seen my mail person scan my books at my mailbox.  I don't know about other places I saw it and asked and she said that's the way it's supposed to be done.

I've pm'd one person about the book asking if it had been delivered, if not I would do the paperwork at the PO to have a search done.  The receiver pm'd the next day to tell me they had been on vacation.  The book had been received and thanks.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 4:05 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
Back To Top

Per PBS guidelines:

USPS sometimes scans a package as "Delivered" when it reaches the requestor's local Post office

  • there may be a few days' delay before the package reaches the destination address.
  • If your package has been scanned as Delivered and has not been marked received a week later, please contact the requestor first using the PM button on the transaction.  If she or he does not respond to your PM within 3 or 4 days, please contact us, and we will look into it.

As you can see, it is not guaranteed to be delivered at the person's home, just because it's been scanned delivered.  It also says to wait a week, you waited 2-3 days, you jumped the gun there.  Plus they have another 3-4 days to respond to you.  My opinion is that you are too quick to label someone rude.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 4:52 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,185
Back To Top

If your package has been scanned as Delivered and has not been marked received a week later, please contact the requestor first using the PM button on the transaction.  If she or he does not respond to your PM within 3 or 4 days, please contact us, and we will look into it.

I'd like to stress this part of the Help Center. PBS asks us to contact the requester in this case (albeit, not as quickly as the OP) to find out if the scan is incorrect. Every time someone lets a book go lost and doesn't bother following up with it because they got their credit and dont care, they make PBS cover the extra credit needed when the requester gets theirs back.  Members contacting you about the book are not being rude or aggessive or accusing, they are just doing what PBS asks us to do.



Last Edited on: 9/17/09 4:53 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/17/2009 7:44 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
Back To Top

That's good to know, I wasn't aware that was in the help documents.

I'd still agree that the OP was a bit too quick to message the receiver and to label them as "rude" for not responding immediately though.

Date Posted: 9/17/2009 8:05 PM ET
Member Since: 7/5/2007
Posts: 2,124
Back To Top

Also keep in mind that just because the recipient read the message doesn't mean that he had the time to reply.  He may also be wanting to check some things out before responding, as well.


As well as, just because it's scanned delivered doesn't mean the person actually GOT it.  I had a book that was scanned delivered and I never received it.

Date Posted: 9/18/2009 11:18 AM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2007
Posts: 8,139
Back To Top

One book of mine was scanned delivered. I got home, it wasn't in the mailbox. Two days later, it was scanned "Misdelivered" and then it showed up at my house two days later.

Also, there might have been a delay in responding in order to not say something that would cause regret. I've been known to wait to keep my temper in check. ;)

Date Posted: 9/18/2009 11:49 AM ET
Member Since: 2/12/2006
Posts: 4,274
Back To Top

To me, offering to start the 'search' process with the Post Office is the key to sending these messages - that shows that you're concerned that they DO or DID receive the book.  I'm another that spends so much time here on-site that I receive a PM long before I read emails.   I've usually responded to a book request or message from another member long before I read the accompanying email from PBS.  Remember too, that  another family member might have read that message from you and then forgotten to mention it - not everyone excludes family members from secured sites.

eta:  Remember also, if PBS has too many 'missing or lost' books with one member, it sends up a 'red flag', they can check the dc #(s) to see what the PO shows.  



Last Edited on: 9/18/09 11:54 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/18/2009 1:48 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
Back To Top

Regarding responding to PM's that have been "read", I can read PM's on my Blackberry, but I can't respond.  Responding requires java, reading doesn't.  So it could be a long time between when I'm able to read a PM and when I am able to respond to one.