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Topic: Seems odd anyone would have a private wish list

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Subject: Seems odd anyone would have a private wish list
Date Posted: 12/8/2015 2:01 PM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2008
Posts: 805
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Just reading post and an interest was mentioned. I had the book, so I thought I would just post it to their wish list. Nope their wish list is private. Thought at least I could be assured of an active member when posting.

Why would someone do that. We're not talking about anything on the fringe. It was Finder Keepers by Stephen King. Just seems odd. Oh well!

Date Posted: 12/8/2015 2:23 PM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2014
Posts: 2,793
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I think it's odd too but people can do what they want.  

Some people want to keep what they read and what they want to read private.  

I wonder if you were friends with someone with a private wl, would it show up in "post to a friend"?

I still need to read Mr. Mercedes.  I cannot believe there's a whole trilogy already! 


Last Edited on: 12/8/15 2:27 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 12/8/2015 3:47 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 4,993
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My WL is not private, but I've heard that people keep their WL private for the following reasons:

1. The staunchly believe in FIFO and don't want people posting to them directly if it means they're jumping ahead in line.

2. They don't want friends or family members who are also members to see what they're reading (particularly erotica).

3. They are concerned that someone might specifically post a WL book to them (especially someone they've disagreed with in the forums) in order to get their address for nefarious purposes.

Date Posted: 12/8/2015 8:23 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,988
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Yeah, a lot of people say that they don't want their neighbors or church friends, etc to be able to see that they have a deep and abiding interest in BDSM manuals, for example.

Date Posted: 12/9/2015 12:14 AM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,481
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We have had at least one member that was being stalked by an abusive ex. There was concern that the ex would post a book to try and get her address.

Date Posted: 12/9/2015 5:43 PM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2008
Posts: 805
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Wow! totally frightening. I have just never thought along those lines. Guess I am just naive. Not a very frienldy place!

Last Edited on: 12/9/15 5:45 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/9/2015 6:36 PM ET
Member Since: 9/8/2009
Posts: 621
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"Not a very frienldy place!"

I would not have thought of some of these reasons, either, but I don't think that makes it an unfriendly place.  With a few rare exceptions, I've found everyone here to be super friendly.  I think it's prudent for people if they have reason to and certainly can't begrudge them doing so. 

Date Posted: 12/10/2015 3:44 PM ET
Member Since: 8/19/2007
Posts: 4,316
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If I remember right a few years back there was some animosity (like stalking and rudeness) among several members and many members went private at that time.

I asked one person once why their wish list was private and she said her pastor was also a member and she didn't want him knowing what she read. LOL.  Pat

Date Posted: 12/11/2015 1:01 AM ET
Member Since: 8/20/2007
Posts: 1,020
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I assume that the member in Pat's example also has to be careful about the books she posts.

Last Edited on: 12/11/15 1:10 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/11/2015 8:11 PM ET
Member Since: 6/8/2005
Posts: 996
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I asked this awhile back too because it made no sense to me and was told basically the same as what people have mentioned here.  I never would have thought of the stalking/privacy stuff at all.  I am naive too!