She'll Take It Author:Mary Carter I, Melanie Zeitgar, do solemnly swear I will never shoplift again. Ever!* — *Exceptions: Break-ups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don't get a call back, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from Mom, no phone calls from CLOML (Current Love of My Life),... more » and any other unforeseen tragic bouts of stress. Amen.
Meet Melanie Zeitgar. Aspiring actress-turned-bored temp. The Queen of Divine Quips. And a total kleptomaniac. For Mel, stealing is a lot like love: she knows the right thing when she sees it. Unfortunately, she sees it everywhere: Pretty soaps. Socks. Lipstick. Cashmere sweaters. Tampons. Condoms. Candy bars. Perfume. Make-up. The occasional vibrator. Hey, can she help it that she has a special, and unfortunately, very illegal, talent... She doesn't mean to take things. Just like she doesn't mean to tell people she's a struggling clock artist. Or continue eating chocolate. Or wait for a call from Ray, the Beautiful Musician Who Must Have Been in a Horrible Accident that Broke His Dialing Fingers.
Melanie's biggest rule -- in life, love, and shoplifting -- is this: Don't Get Caught. But sometimes, even the best klepto has an off day. Now, with every part of her life veering zanily out of control, Melanie's met a guy whose heart is hers for the taking -- if she's brave enough to pay the price...« less