Time to pack up my sorrows
And check out of this heartbreak hotel
But no, "You got time for one more"
"Sure, I live only to serve"
"Well, we really shouldn't do this guy
he has two businesses and sold stock
he bought in the 1800's using mules for
trade and then sold it at midnight on
New Years Eve for bitcoins, which he converted
at a discount for Vietnamese Dongs, and sent it
to an off shore bank in the Caymens"
"No problem, I'll dust off my copy of
the Robert Lewis Treason Act of 1804 and
we can use it if the IRS counters with
the Gonzo Currency Referendum"
"Good, shouldn't take you too long"
Two heartpounding hours later, I dropped
off my work.
"I noted on the double secret memo pad the
cost basis of the 63 drip payments of less
than one penny, as cross-referenced in the
Capital Gains for things I don't understand form.
As for the bitcoin to dong transaction - it
was only 85% viable since the appropriate documents
weren't properly received off-shore until one second
after midnight. I noted on the "shit it's tax-time
again" pad to use the carryover for next year, and used
Reduced Accelerated 150% Cost Reduction on his
farm animal depletion - unless he plans to use the Cheney
defense in which case he owes no taxes at all for the
next 7 1/2 years.
"Good man! See you next year!