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Topic: If someone PM's you?

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Subject: If someone PM's you?
Date Posted: 3/18/2010 10:29 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2009
Posts: 10,126
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If you receive a PM from someone would you respond?  Maybe I'm old school on this thought but isn't it polite to respond in some way?

Example someone once ordered a book from me and was very excited about the author and PM'd me about it.  I happen to find another book by said author in same line as previous and PM'd to let them know told title and all no sales pressure just an FYI.  Would you at least acknowledge the info even if your not interested in ordering the book?  It's been plenty of time since I sent it.  Now I'm wondering if its the wrong thing for me to PM people.

Date Posted: 3/18/2010 11:25 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,601
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Would I acknowledge such a PM? Probably not, but it depends on how it was worded and my mood at the time I got it. I don't like sales pitches--the books I order are the books I want. If I did respond, it would likely be just "no thanks."

If I were you I certainly would not wait around for a response, just mail the book that was ordered in a timely manner.


Date Posted: 3/18/2010 11:50 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 10,125
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I PM people about things occasionally ... for example, just recently someone ordered a WL book from a series (#1) and I had happened to just finish book #2, so I offered it to them as well.

They never answered my PM. I'm always kind of surprised when people don't just answer back with a "no, thanks" if they aren't interested .... at least if I had known for sure that they didn't want it, I could have posted it to FIFO right away, instead of holding on to it in case they answered me before I mailed their book out.

I get PMs like that, too, once in a while, and I always answer them, even if it is just to decline the offer. It really doesn't take long to type a "No Thanks, but I appreciate the offer" PM back. I actually DO appreciate the thought, even if I don't want the actual offer, whatever it is.

Last Edited on: 3/18/10 11:51 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 3/18/2010 11:57 PM ET
Member Since: 4/5/2008
Posts: 1,869
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I'd probably answer whether I wanted the extra book or not.  If you told them it was information only and not a sales pitch, then I think it would be seen as a nice gesture to let them know you had another book.  I do have a problem with telling people "no, thanks" sometimes and that may be what happened with the other person.  Maybe they didn't know how to respond.  But, not everybody is as "talkative" as I am and may not feel they have to answer.  I have to email my very quiet Hubby at work since he often can't answer the phone, and he usually replies with one or two words at most. It's like I have to drag a written word out of him as much as a spoken word at times. lol

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 1:07 AM ET
Member Since: 5/18/2007
Posts: 13,223
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I would answer, for sure. In this instance, I think it's kind of rude not to. I always assume that when someone PMs me this type of message they're doing it to be friendly and helpful, not as a sales pitch.

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 1:38 AM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
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Some people don't really like unsolicited communication, regardless of what it is about. The fact that she messaged you about the author previously makes me wonder if she isn't perhaps taking a break from the site or something though. 

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 11:49 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2009
Posts: 10,126
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I appreciated all the responses and the different points of view.  It helps me no to take it so personally.  I feel better now.


Date Posted: 3/19/2010 1:22 PM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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I find this thread funny because I have the opposite problem.  Receiving PM's saying "thanks" when I send a book or "thanks" when they receive the book.  I think that the first type of PM's are in response to the PM I send each member with the tracking number for the book they ordered.  I have considered not sending the PM because I suspect that's what prompts the "thanks" pm's in the first place.  But I know that if I ordered a book that the sender sent with DC (not through PBS), I would want to know the tracking number so I could figure out where the book was. 

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 3:42 PM ET
Member Since: 8/19/2007
Posts: 4,393
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I always reply, even if I'm not interested.  I do think it's polite to do so, but I might be old school.  Pat

Subject: Heck, I'm disappointed when I DON'T have any messages...
Date Posted: 3/19/2010 3:58 PM ET
Member Since: 6/4/2007
Posts: 2,941
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I love opportunities to communicate with fellow bibliophiles on a range of topics, and take advantage of such opportunities any chance I get.  Whether it's about a particular author, series or title, about something I've said in the forums, something on my profile, it never matters; coming to know my fellow swappers a little more with each message is one of the many rewarding aspects of belonging to the site.  I'd feel the overall swap experience was wasted if I just isolated myself and stuck to my books, and whereas people are well within their rights to function that way if necessary, I just wouldn't have it any other way. 

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 4:47 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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I'm like James.  I'm tickled pink when I get a pleasant PM - even the thank you's.  PBS is my social life. 

If I had #1 of a series ordered and had just finished #2 - I'd offer it, too, but I'd say "I'm going to post it into FIFO tomorrow. If you're interested in it let me know now because I do like to ship multiples.  No worries if you aren't interested."  That way they would know what  and when a PM was necessary.


Date Posted: 3/19/2010 5:00 PM ET
Member Since: 4/5/2008
Posts: 1,869
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I think that's an extremely pleasant way to word the PM.  I'm going to reference that in the future if I PM someone about an extra book.  Thanks! 

James and Pat:

I grew up in an area where people waved at all vehicles that went by just to say hello even if they had no idea who you were.  I guess I feel the same way about PMs.  I say something when I receive a book just to say "hi" I guess. 

I am not offended if others do not feel the same way as I do, but I hope they don't take offense at my attempt to be polite or friendly.  It's just my upbringing showing through!  lol

Date Posted: 3/19/2010 5:14 PM ET
Member Since: 4/16/2008
Posts: 770
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I would respond to you even if it was to say "no thanks but I appreciate the offer".  It only takes two seconds to type....it may just be a day or two before I get around to it.