Im not sure where this post will go but I wanted to get my thoughts out and get advice from other parents with special needs children. Let me tell you the story as best I can.. I had a text book pregnancy with no serious problems. I had high blood pressure during the end but that was expected because of a family history of pre eclampsia. I was also allergic to the prenatal vitamins but that was the worst of it. I went into labour early but it was stopped and my son was born exactly on his due date. He was a healthy baby with no problems. Then he started getting ear infections back to back. Once a infection got so severe he wasnt able to walk without falling down. His doctor started treating him for allergy problems and the infections havent been back since. He started having what I thought were seizures but a scan showed no seizure activity in the brain (that was after a few days in the hospital). Well a few months back he sort of passed out, took another what I thought was a seizure. I rushed him to the local ER and they found out his blood sugar was low (hes hypoglycemic). Well hes four years old and very smart but his speech is very far behind other children his age. Hes also not showing interest in reading, writing, or any of that stuff. Hes not fully potty trained as he still poops in his pants and hes unwilling or unable to learn to go poop in the potty. So his doctor and I sit down to talk about it. The ear infections, the heart murmer that comes and goes, the speach problems, the small dented in chest, the sugar, the mystery seizures.. Perhaps a neurological problem. We havent seen the specialist for that yet because its a 300 mile trip and the doctor is looking for something closer. Hes getting better health wise with allergy and asthma medications but hes still not learning the other things. Hes a smart kid and has no learning problems that can be diagnosed. Okay now for the problem..He can start school this year..I dont want him to..I can hold it off until next year before state laws make me enroll him in some sort of school program. Where should I go with this? I dont think I can homeschool him properly for him to learn and I dont want him in public school with the drugs, voilence, and him being beind..Anyone have any thoughts?

Hi Kristin, I can relate somewhat. I have 2 nondisabled children and 1 special needs child. My SN child has CP, asthma, allergies, chronic infections, epilepsy, delays, etc so I've been where you are at now. Many other mothers of SN needs children have also been there so please don't feel you are alone. We've all walked (and continue) to walk that road.

There aren't any "one answer fits all" with special needs children as the delays/health problems as well as learning styles can be so varied. I would encourage you to see the specialist even though it is a hardship traveling (our neurologist is 370 miles round trip so I understand). If your doctor can find someone closer, even better. While you don't absolutely need a diagnosis, if it is possible for them to diagnose him it will be so very helpful to your son. Getting the right medical treatments, therapies for him will be a bit easier if you know what the issue is, what options there are and in what direction to go. I know all the dr visits and tests can be exhausting on both you and your son.

My child has been in public school for a number of years but I am now homeschooling her. This decision is a very personal one. I homeschool as her immune system simply can't fight all the germs at school regardless of what we do and she was missing most of the school year anyway. My other 2 still attend public school.  Public school has excellent specialists that may help you. However homeschooling a special needs child is very possible with good results. The homeschool discussion forum has many links for resources and/or free online websites. As you mentioned you also have the option of keeping him home another year and then putting him in public school. Children can learn so many things in play..I stick lessons in all the time without them knowing it (hopefully!) :)  I'm sure you do as well.

You know your child better than anyone else in the world. Remember a teacher/therapist/doctor may have him a year or 2 but you have him forever. Listen to what everyone has to say with an open mind but in the end choose whatever decision feels right to you.  There is no "right" and there is no "wrong". There is whatever works best for you and your child. It's a learning process and I am still learning year after year. My best wishes to your family.

Hi Kristin,

Are you still interested in advise? The reason I'm asking is because it's been a while since your original post? I have some thoughts on what you posted if you are still interested. In the meantime has your son been seen by a Neurologist or any other specialists since your last post?

Elona