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Topic: You Try to be Nice...

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Subject: You Try to be Nice...
Date Posted: 4/27/2017 2:10 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2013
Posts: 767
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Okay, I requested a few books from a member, and they came in two different packages, which is fine.  But the second one arrived three weeks later, and it was postmarked over a week later than the member marked it mailed.  Now, I'm a pretty easygoing person; if I get the books, and they're in good condition, it's all good with me.

However, I did PM her to let her know this - 'the post office stamped the mailing date more than a week later after you marked them mailed' (which would account for the late arrival) - but told her I wouldn't ask for credits back, I just wanted to let her know to be more careful in the future (as others are sticklers for that kind of thing).  In response, I got...nothing.  No thank you, no sorry, not a word.  Wouldn't you think this was rude?  I certainly do.  You'd think she would have given some kind of acknowledgement, even if it was something like 'oh it must have been the PO's fault'.

Date Posted: 4/27/2017 3:11 PM ET
Member Since: 6/2/2014
Posts: 11,524
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I have tried to be nice with books that were unpostable but since I was going to read them, I felt bad about asking for a credit so I pm'ed,thanked them but let one know that writing, taping the book together, and red stains was unpostable and while I was going to read it, it wouldn't be right to ask for a credit but it is unpostable and another member may request their credit back in a case like this.. Not one word.

The other one I tried to be friendly with was where she used scotch tape to close a big manilla envelope for a paperback. It came undone but the post office did rebag and deliver it. I let her know what happened because it could be an issue in the future. I did get a response but it was oh I've never had a complaint so it must be you. How odd that you're the only one, that is very strange. I offered to send pictures of the wrapping (it was rebagged with my book) and not one word.

I won't send anymore pm's about stuff like this, it isn't worth it.

Last Edited on: 4/27/17 3:13 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/27/2017 3:31 PM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2014
Posts: 2,793
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JoAnne, I don't mean go all ranty on you but you asked for opinions.

I do not think its rude that they have not yet responded to about a late postmark.  I would not call that a nice pm. 

It's important to you that people mail on time but do you need to dress them down if they mail late? 

I do not know how anyone can even think of asking for the credit back because the postmark is a week late. 

As long as you don't wind up with 2 copies of the same book it's not a problem.   

Maybe they have not yet responded and maybe they never will. 

I would be annoyed if someone sent me that message.  

Did you check tracking?  I sent a book to someone on 4/12/17 and it went back and forth between 2 states several times before it righted itself and was delivered today 4/27/17.  

On a side note, 

I do not care if someone mails late, I figure they have a reason and I don't need to approve of their reason. 

I cut people slack on mailing out stuff on a trading site. No I don't mean a month later but a week is no big deal. 


Last Edited on: 4/27/17 3:32 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 4/27/2017 4:07 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 10,125
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PBS recommends that you ask for a response to a PM if you wish one.

Lots of things can happen between reading a PM ... for example, I often read PMs on my phone and then can't respond easily, or think I will answer later and then forget. Sometimes I think of a PM I meant to answer ... a couple of weeks later.

Some people also just read messages as informational "no response needed" types of things unless you specifically ask for a response. It might seem weird to you, but I often don't answer PMs that are just telling me things ... but I later realized that other people do when I started receiving answers to PMs that I was not expecting an answer to. I truly don't expect to get an answer to a PM unless I ask a question.

I also agree, I wouldn't bother sending messages to people about late mailing, as long as the book arrives before the lost date, PBS really doesn't care all that much and people who mail late already know they mailed it late, so you are not telling them anything they didn't already know in the first place.

I realize it wasn't your intention, but lots of people might take that the wrong way, as a "I know I did something wrong, and now you are just pointing it out to me" kind of message, which can't really be construed as friendly in most cases.


Also, PBS doesn't allow asking for credits back for late mailing, even if you did want them back ... so you aren't being nice to the sender by not asking for them back ... you actually are not supposed to anyway. 

Date Posted: 4/27/2017 8:16 PM ET
Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 16,433
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JoAnne, I also would have been miffed by the postmarks. I don't think your PM 'dressed down' the sender and, like you, would have preferred some sort of response, especially if the sender was a a newby. When I was new here I received PMs from those to whom I sent books often commenting on how I could improve and I was grateful for the help. If not a newby, then content yourself with knowing there all kinds of people in the world including even those who are offended by being bothered with a thank you from the receiver. That last never ceases to surprise me, that it's possible to be offended by a thank you.

Date Posted: 4/27/2017 9:58 PM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2009
Posts: 11,898
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I did not see your PM as rude.  I also PM folks when they have mailed later than they click but I do mark it as a RWAP.  And mention that I would like to hear from them by XX date so I can mark this as resolved.  It only takes a few minutes to log on and send a PM.  And honestly, even when folks are overwhelmed by life, do you think they do not go on the computer to check emails and such?  If you PM me that you were/are mailing late, I reply to thank them for the heads up.  JMO

Date Posted: 4/27/2017 10:54 PM ET
Member Since: 1/6/2008
Posts: 3,693
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Last Edited on: 8/16/17 3:05 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/28/2017 12:24 PM ET
Member Since: 6/2/2014
Posts: 11,524
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Is it late being the issue or no response to a pm?

For me personally, many times the books are mailed later than when it was marked. I always get them though.On the flip side, I send books, tracking shows delivered and a week rolls by, then 2..sometimes it's the pbs email that triggers them to post they got it.

I do think a response isn't rude, for me, unless you're being a jerk, I will always respond.

Date Posted: 4/28/2017 4:46 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 5,043
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OP writes:  Now, I'm a pretty easygoing person; if I get the books, and they're in good condition, it's all good with me.

Really? Then why did you even send the PM? I'm with Valerie on this one. Had I received your PM I would have been a bit miffed, and I most likely wouldn't have responded, mainly because It would be *impolite* what I would be tempted to write back. 

As for the ease of checking messages: I used to check my PBS messages on my lunch break. However, PBS won't work on my work computer any more (I keep getting Forbidden errors), so I can't do that. I do read the emails from PBS with the body of the PMs, but I'm not logging in on my phone to answer a PM accusing me/complaining about a late mailing. 

Date Posted: 4/28/2017 5:34 PM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2005
Posts: 10,724
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Late postmark does NOT always mean late mailing either. I package up my books, walk them over to the mailroom for our community, and mark them mailed since at that point they are out of my hands. However, we don't get mail delivery on a regular basis because the end of our dead end road washes out a lot and since we are the only year round residents on the road the mailman won't come up until he has a good sized bunch of stuff for us. So, if the weather is bad (like it has been lately with flooding every 2-3 days) the date the post office gets my outgoing mail could be as much as a week to 10 days after I drop it off at the mailroom. And I can't mail from the post office because I don't drive anymore.

Date Posted: 4/29/2017 1:01 AM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2007
Posts: 2,550
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I don't know how it was mailed, stamps or PBS postage. Or like Bren says.  After its mailed, who knows?   I like the post office and all but, ehh. I use paid postage and put everything in the blue bin.  After that, its outta my hands.   Plus, what if it was mailed late?  What if she forgot to add a book, or the 2nd package fell under her car seat when she was running errands?     

It sounds like you reprimanded her, and you want her to thank you. Being a grown woman and all that is one of my pet peeves.  Perhaps your message left her feeling in a way that it was better that she did not reply.  


Date Posted: 4/29/2017 6:23 AM ET
Member Since: 9/25/2008
Posts: 4,668
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I wouldn't have responded to the rude PM either except maybe to mention that she doesn't understand PBS guidelines in that you cannot ask for credits mailed for a late mailing. A late mailing RWAP just sends a message to the sender to mail timely. Then we don't know if it was mailed on time. The book was received and it was unnecessary to rudely message the sender.

Date Posted: 5/2/2017 4:46 PM ET
Member Since: 9/21/2006
Posts: 2,817
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I have not rec'd any actual books lately so do not remember exactly, but if I recall, when you mark a book rec'd it asks you questions about date mailed, pricing, etc.

If you want someone, besides the sender(as they already know) to know about the "late mailing" just input that info when you receive the book.  

There is no need to PM someone when you've actually rec'd the book in the time alotted.

Even if the book went "lost"  there is zero need to contact the sender.

Also, I hand deliver my books to my mailcarrier.  All of my books go out with PBS postage/DC.  There have been many times, too many to count that my books have never been scanned along the way, including delivery.

I would have blown you off also.  Remember, things come off miscontrued online.

Date Posted: 5/4/2017 12:21 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2013
Posts: 767
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I don't think my PM was rude.  It was mailed past the "mail by" date, and therefore I would have been justified in asking for my credits back.  I merely told her - nicely - that it was mailed over a week later than she marked it.  That doesn't mean I said it rudely, or that it was a rude remark.  Someone else might have gotten nasty with her and demanded their credits back.  Many people here look at the postmarks - there's been posts about it.  So no, I don't send rude PMs to people.

Date Posted: 5/4/2017 7:16 AM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 10,125
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If you receive the book and it is not damaged, you CANNOT ask for your credits back. 

Credits back are for damaged books, period.

And even then, only when the book was mailed unpostable, if the book damage happens during mailing caused bt the post office, you also should not ask for a credit back.

Feel free to ask PBS directly if you want to.

Date Posted: 5/4/2017 8:21 AM ET
Member Since: 6/2/2014
Posts: 11,524
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You can't get your credits back for late mailing. You can mark that and PBS keeps some kind of record of it but you can't get your credits back for it.

Date Posted: 5/4/2017 10:45 AM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2014
Posts: 2,793
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My requested book arrived with a late postmark!

Books that arrive with a late postmark should be marked "received with a problem" and the late postmark can be noted. (there is one exception to this, as noted below)

  • Providing the late postmark while marking the book received will generate an auto-email to the sender of the book, reminding him or her that late mailing is not acceptable at PBS.
    • The email includes the information that the late postmark could have been entered in error
    • The email includes the information that sometimes postmarks are delayed a few days, even if the book was mailed on time
    • The email includes the information that if the late mailing was agreed to by the requestor, this is not a problem
  • You can contact the sender using the text box provided while marking the book received
    • Please be gentle!  You can't know what might have delayed this shipment.
  • If the book was declared lost in the mail and you requested and received (or will receive) a second copy because you thought the first one was really lost:
    • If the postmark on the package was from the week before the book was declared lost (or later!), and you got no notification from the sender that the book would be/was mailed late: you do not have to mark this book received (this is the ONE case in which you don't have to mark a received book received: if a very late mailer without notice caused you to reorder the book and end up with two copies).  Instead you should contact us to report the very late mailing.
    • OR: You can mark it received to note the late postmark, and ask for your credit back in your Personal Message to the sender.  If you don't hear back/don't get the credit back within 3 days you should contact us using the Feedback link at the top of the Contact Us page.
    • You can also note this information about the late mailing in the Comments box at the bottom of the Book Received page, while marking the book received: this will go onto the sender's record.
  • A pattern of late mailing will cause account suspension and possibly termination of membership
    • Sometimes late mailing happens for very good reasons, but chronic late mailing will not be tolerated.


Are you thinking of the 2nd copy rule? 

Last Edited on: 5/4/17 10:47 AM ET - Total times edited: 3
Date Posted: 5/4/2017 12:10 PM ET
Member Since: 10/27/2015
Posts: 53
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I don't think it was rude to send the PM. I think it's kinda rude to not respond to a PM at all, regardless of the subject matter. I also think some of the responses to this post have been kind of rude.

I personally, would not have sent the PM because I'm lazy but I always put the postmarked date and cost into the system when I mark a book recived and let the Powers That Be handle things. And I would mark a book RWAP with a late postmark. It's nice when the books actually arrive and I understand the whole "no harm, no foul" mindset but the rules are here so that all of us can enjoy this experience.

Date Posted: 5/4/2017 12:41 PM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2014
Posts: 2,793
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Elizabeth,  JoAnn asked if we thought no response to her pm was rude.  Several people responded.  I have read JoAnn's previous posts and I respect her.  

I do not think the member (no response) was rude and I stated my contrary opinion.  I agree with you on RWAP and enter late postmark and let powers that be handle things.  When this happens then send a "no-reply to email" to the sender.