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Topic: Unsolicited deals - rude or not rude?

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Subject: Unsolicited deals - rude or not rude?
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:09 PM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 1,748
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Hi. This is over on one of the sister sites that I joined today but I was wondering if it's rude that someone approached me asked for 3 items for 2 credits KNOWING that I'm new?

I haven't responded yet on if I will agree to it or not. I was going to post some unpostables on there that I would be willing to give away free but I haven't had time yet as I just joined today. Just wanted your opinions. I'm new to even doing deals over here and am grateful for them but I would never presume it was ok to ask for a specific deal on something if someone wasn't offering one.

Am I being too sensitive or is this just not proper etiquette? I guess I'm just wondering since they know I'm new if they are just trying to take advantage.  I have heard of people getting scammed over there so I'm a little nervous.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:11 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2008
Posts: 100
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well if you feel ok with the deal make it, if not pleasantly decline...[br] i figure if you dont ask you dont know, and if you ask the worse that can be said is no... i wish you well in your journey in this wonderful book site
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:14 PM ET
Member Since: 2/23/2008
Posts: 285
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Not sure about other sites, but in the Book Bazaar here under the 'How to use this forum' post, it says that it isn't considered rude to simply ask a member if they're willing to do a deal, and it also isn't considered rude to refuse.  I personally have never asked for a deal that wasn't offered, and I doubt I ever will, but it's OK just to ask I guess.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:18 PM ET
Member Since: 9/15/2008
Posts: 203
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Well while in a deal you loose possible cr   you gain by saving postage!   And Remember the books you post could be the Only 1 or could be 101 in the system.  And no one here is out to cheat anyone...












Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:19 PM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 1,748
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Do you think that this member asking for these knowing I'm new that they might be trying to take advantage? I looked through some of the boards over there and I don't even see this member contributing to conversations but they did see that I posted that I'm new or how else would they have seen my tower and picked specific items from it.

Is it rude for me to ask for the credits up front from this person since I don't know them from Adam and I know people have gotten scammed over there?

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:20 PM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 1,748
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Barbara, it isn't here on PBS as I trust people over here. It's on the DVD swap site and I've seen multiple posts over there of people getting scammed.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:23 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2008
Posts: 100
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tiff i would say that if you dont feel comfortable with it then pass, you shouldnt ever feel cheated in a deal.. I dont think they are trying to cheat you, everyone likes a deal now and then... maybe you can ask them to pass along the 2 credits up front and if they were trying to cheat you then you'll know by their reply.... here is another option have this person spend the credits on the 2 books and then ship the 3rd that way you will get credited...
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:27 PM ET
Member Since: 4/15/2008
Posts: 880
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I wouldn't consider it rude at all.  I've had several people ask me to do a deal when I haven't been running any and occasionally I will if it suits me.  I don't mind if people ask, but I have no problem saying no if the deal is unreasonable or if I'm simply not interested in letting certain books go in a deal.  If you are not interested or are uncomfortable doing a deal, definitely say no. 

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:28 PM ET
Member Since: 1/28/2007
Posts: 131
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I'm well established here, and I'll ask for deals from people if I happen to see that they have more than one book I want.  Some people accept, some don't, no biggie.  I've never bothered to look to see if the member in question is new. 

One time I did have someone write back that she was new and she didn't know how book deals worked, so I explained them to her and made sure she knew what she was getting herself into.  I also refered her to the Bazzar so that she could compare the deal I was asking for with other people's deal and see that it was fair.

I don't know about the sister site, but 3 for 2 is generally a pretty excellent deal, considering the postage savings.  I wouldn't worry about getting ripped off, it seems okay to me.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:32 PM ET
Member Since: 9/15/2008
Posts: 203
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Most of the same people in books are in the DVD & CD sites as well.   
When you place an order the System asked you to check the persons you are ordering from  IF you want to order more from the person  to save postage.  So most likely thats how the person found your list.  & it posibly that they Want 3 dvd but only Have 2 cr.  So thats why they want a deal.   I hope I helped....Still ALL decisions are up to you!! 

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 5:34 PM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 1,748
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Yeah, I don't mind letting them go in a deal actually. Just like I said, people over there have gotten scammed so I think as long as they agree to give the credits up front OR give one credit up front and order one off my tower and I'll ship the third with it then I would feel pretty safe. :)

Sorry, I guess I just thought it odd that I joined today and posted that I'm new and I immediately get a request for a deal. I don't mind giving a deal though, ya know?

I appreciate the advice and feel more comfortable now. I wouldn't be concerned if it were over here on PBS cause ya'll are fabulous! :)

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 6:03 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2006
Posts: 14,634
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I've asked for deals from a few people here and they were ok with it. They had about 25 books I was interested in but not interested enough to get for 1 credit each..and they weren't popular titles...I think there were 50 copies of some of them and I'd seen posted deals with a few of the titles in 3/1 deals and such. Turns out it was a new person and she didnt' understand how it saved both of us..saved me credits and her postage..she ended up with 15 credits or so and cost under $8 for her to mail..at the time it cost around 2 bucks per book to mail separately for a credit each.

I try to be polite when I ask though.not just assume the person should honor  my request.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 6:43 PM ET
Member Since: 4/16/2008
Posts: 347
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I've had people ask me for deals and I've asked for deals. I don't mind doing them if they're reasonable but I generally want them to order "x" amount of books off my shelf before sending them the freebies.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 6:59 PM ET
Member Since: 12/14/2007
Posts: 83
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When I first got here, I would have been surprised.  Now that I know about the forum and how the trading works, I would welcome the trade. 

Last Edited on: 10/8/08 12:51 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 7:14 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2008
Posts: 619
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I've asked for deals on occasion, not because I'm being rude, but because hey, it really doesn't hurt to ask.  Sometimes they accept, and sometimes they refuse.  More often than not people don't mind giving a deal, as long as you are polite about it.

I usually just say, "Hey I just ordered such and such book from you, would you be willing to do a 2/1 or maybe 3/1 with these other books?" 

If they say no, I sometimes will cancel my order, but in such cases that I REALLY want that book...I will still order the book without a deal.

Subject: Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 8:31 PM ET
Member Since: 7/8/2007
Posts: 120
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I always say, it can't hurt to ask, when I'm finished with a book, I'm happy when it goes to a good home, if you send three for $3 instead of sending to 3 different people at $2 each you come out ahead.  If you are talking about bookmooch, I always end up with more points then I know what to do with, and people are willing to take damaged books there as long as you note the issues in the condition notes.

Happy reading,


Date Posted: 10/7/2008 8:41 PM ET
Member Since: 8/13/2008
Posts: 13,147
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I don't think it's rude. Never hurts to ask right? If you don't want to do it, just politely decline the offer. You save money in postage by shipping more books at once. :)

Date Posted: 10/8/2008 10:03 AM ET
Member Since: 6/30/2006
Posts: 2,303
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I have no problem politely declining (or accepting, if I wish) a deal that I didn't initiate.

I seldom ask a member for a deal that wasn't offered.

If, in ordering a book, I notice several others on their shelf that I would like, I usually look at their profile to see whether they have posted in the forums. If not, I don't ask for a deal. (I figure they may not be aware people even do deals and I don't want to educate them, or cause them to feel like I am trying to take advantage of them. )

If they have posted in the the forums, I search for the posts to see whether they seem to be "dealers" (either giving or taking, or active in the "Games" forum...) If so, I try to send a fairly specific PM saying something like "FIFO sent my order for "James and the Giant Peach"  to you. While I was looking at your shelf I noticed these other books I would also like [I name the books]. I am hoping you would be willing to do a deal for them and send all 5 books for 3 credits.]

It is my current personal policy to not ask for anything better than 2/1.

eta: I do not agree with the "it can't hurt to ask" policy. I have seen people get offended over less. Unfortunately it is advisable to be leery of being taken advantage of on the internet. I do not want to risk anyone I deal with feeling offended or taken advantage of. Unless I have seen they are acquainted with deals and that deals are allowed, I don't ask.

Last Edited on: 10/8/08 10:09 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 10/8/2008 10:38 AM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2005
Posts: 2,372
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As long as it was worded politely, it isn't rude.  Especially since it gives you a break on postage as well (I consider asking for deals that involve only one credit borderline since it's a one-sided deal).

As for asking for the credits up front--just handle it through the system. Have them order 2 of the books they want and just pack the third one in. You are no more likely to get scammed doing that than on a normal order.  I wouldn't just send them the 3 books--have them order the two for credit ones normally.

There is nothing wrong with declining if you do not want to do it either for whatever reason.  Just send back a polite decline and don't worry about it.  I wouldn't say why, just say you aren't interested in a deal at this time.  

Date Posted: 10/8/2008 10:43 AM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2008
Posts: 2,530
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I don't think it's rude to ask. The worst that can happen is the member says no. No big deal, no harm done. If you don't want to do it, just tell the member you prefer to not do deals at this time, but you'll let them know if you decide you can do it at a later time.  Most members are considerate enough to make deals reasonable.

Date Posted: 10/8/2008 10:45 AM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2005
Posts: 7,977
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Last Edited on: 3/27/09 11:05 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 10/8/2008 11:14 AM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 1,748
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It wasn't for books it was for DVDs.

Anyway, I did do the deal. He buddied me one credit and ordered one from my tower and I'm sending all 3. They are all packed up and ready to go and I feel good about the deal. :)

Date Posted: 10/8/2008 11:46 AM ET
Member Since: 5/23/2005
Posts: 6,101
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Just popping in here with another comment, since you are trying to make it clear it was SWAPADVD and not books.  I've also read about the scams, and once I was tricked, I would call it.  In the very beginning someone was offered a large amount of brand new sets, some that had barely been released.  As far as I know, not a one of us lost a credit as he was caught and tossed.  But even so, I don't see how we would have lost.  Unless he used DC, which wasn't available at the time, he would not have gotten his credits if the sets didn't arrive.

And more recently, I thought I read that this was happening again with someone else.   But that is about it.  The folks over there are pretty quick to spot and report phonies.  Don't give it too much thought. 

Enjoy yourself.

Subject: is it rude?
Date Posted: 10/8/2008 4:45 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2008
Posts: 156
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I think it depends on the 'tone' set in the request.  If they worded something like "I see you just listed a, b, and c that I'm interested in.  I have only 2 credits are you willing to deal?"   and not    "I want a, b, and c - I'll give you two credits for them."  The first would not offend me, the second would.