Discussion Forums - Love & Romance Love & Romance

Topic: warning labels we'd like to see

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
Page:   Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: warning labels we'd like to see
Date Posted: 5/13/2008 2:05 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

I could really use this one: "WARNING - book contains one or more adorable children."

Every book I pick up is swarmin' with kids!  In desperation I picked up a Presents and it had THREE! The main characters barely had ten pages of time together.

Less ped., more bed!

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 2:19 PM ET
Member Since: 10/19/2007
Posts: 1,028
Back To Top

Ugh, I very rarely like children in a book.  There are so few authors who can pull it off.

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 2:47 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

Here's another we could use: "Warning - author is psychotic nutjob who will hunt you down if you give her a bad review."

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 2:48 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
Back To Top

Escapism and children DO NOT go together!!!

 

Oh, I've got a warning I'd like to see...

Warning: Unsanitary Sexual Practices!

 

If I come across another book where the hero has his hands allover the backdoor before playing around in the front I am gonna burn it...it's just...yuck.



Last Edited on: 5/13/08 2:53 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/13/2008 3:04 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
Back To Top

" Less ped., more bed!" - Lol!  Hilarious, Willa:P  I almost peed.

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 4:06 PM ET
Member Since: 11/29/2005
Posts: 953
Back To Top

LOL, that is a classic, Willa! LOL

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 4:44 PM ET
Member Since: 5/25/2006
Posts: 670
Back To Top

WARNING - Menage a trois within!

I can handle a threesome now and then, but I need to know it's coming so I am not too invested in the monogamy of the H&h.

Katrina

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 4:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2006
Posts: 5,498
Back To Top

Warning!  Heroine is a selfish, egocentric bitch who believes no one's feelings but her own count! 

or

Warning!  Heroine had a baby and didn't tell the father! 

 

Sherri

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 4:53 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
Back To Top

Warning: Heroine runs away gets herself in trouble at least 5 times!

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 5:56 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

Once I get started, it's hard to stop...

few booties, more booty!

less tot, more hot!

I'm trying to find one for you Sarah, but all I got is: Wash before/front door!

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 6:24 PM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2006
Posts: 173
Back To Top

Here are my preferred warnings:

Notice: no sex what so ever. (I have a few sex-free romances on my keeper shelf, but when you're expecting some intimacy somewhere ... its just hard to get past still looking for something more than a kiss).

Warning: Hero is a jerk who has sex with someone other than the heroine during the book, just 'before' H and h are together.  (I picked up Sylvia Day's Passion for the Game based on comments here and was very disappointed that hero was doing another woman in the second chapter.)

Warning: slutty sex (I think this is a warning that belongs on almost all of Emma Holly books; maybe not - I stopped reading her, but just like my prior one I do not get in to the heroine having sex with anyone other than the hero. 

 

 

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 6:40 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
Back To Top

WARNING:  Badly written bed dialogue

WARNING:  Use of repeated oaths (I read one historical where I think the hero exclaimed "God's blood!" every third page. It became very irritating quickly).

WARNING:  Attempts at cutesy fail miserably

 

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 7:42 PM ET
Member Since: 7/26/2007
Posts: 662
Back To Top

I actually think they really should think about add ing a sexual content warning... and then give them a rating.  ( I am not a fan of no sex romance, so blah~ )

 

Oh and lets not forget   the big, fat,  RED tag on the cover if the hero is a abusive caveman who also cheats on the heroine. 

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 8:23 PM ET
Member Since: 12/6/2006
Posts: 623
Back To Top

how about :  WARNING -- totally inane with idiotic whiney characters, so skip me and read something worthwhile!!!!!!!! 

That made me feel better.

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 9:11 PM ET
Member Since: 12/21/2007
Posts: 1,642
Back To Top

Warning: Human bodies are not able to get in postitions described within without pulled muscles, strains, and sprains.

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 10:13 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
Back To Top

That was going to be my next one, Barbara!  :-0

I also think there needs to be a warning about stupid names, like in the book I am reading.  The man's name is Jax and the woman is Pickett.  o.0



Last Edited on: 5/13/08 10:33 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 5/13/2008 10:29 PM ET
Member Since: 2/9/2008
Posts: 196
Back To Top

Warning: characters are trained contortionists; please do not try at home without written permission from your chiropracter

Warning: Heroine does not forgive hero for tiny slight occuring on page 50 until second to last paragraph.  Avoid and go get trashed on tequila - at least the hangover will be less pain than the reading experience.

Warning: This is the third in a series and if you think that this novel is going to redeem the crap-tacular-ness of it's two predecessors, you're in serious need of a frontal lobadomy.

Warning: Author firedd editor; some speeling misstikes ocur.

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 10:39 PM ET
Member Since: 1/19/2008
Posts: 14,757
Back To Top

I also think there needs to be a warning about stupid names, like in the book I am reading.  The man's name is Jax and the woman is Pickett.  o.0

oh, those names sound familiar.  but i have no idea what that book might be.

Warning: Author firedd editor; some speeling misstikes ocur.

LOL!  spelling mistakes drive me nuts.  almost as bad as continuity errors, and both jar me out of the story.  am i the only one who notices how often 'loose' gets used instead of 'lose'?  if you lose weight, your pants are loose.  you don't loose weight.  *sigh*

 

Date Posted: 5/13/2008 11:18 PM ET
Member Since: 1/20/2007
Posts: 7,052
Back To Top

Thank you Ellen!!! The 'loose lose' thing drives me nuts!

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 12:28 AM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

"Warning: This is the third in a series and if you think that this novel is going to redeem the crap-tacular-ness of it's two predecessors, you're in serious need of a frontal lobadomy."

I badly need that one!  Hope just keeps springing eternal.

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 6:37 AM ET
Member Since: 12/8/2006
Posts: 29,785
Back To Top

"I actually think they really should think about add ing a sexual content warning... and then give them a rating." 

I agree with this... they rate movies and put PA on CDs, they should put warnings or ratings on books IMO, I like to know what I'm getting into:)

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 1:09 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
Back To Top

Top 5 warnings I'd like to see:

Annoyingly self-righteous heroine

Misogynistic cheesedick hero (can I say that here?)

Boring, recycled plot

Vacuous dialogue

And #1 - Warning:  Reading this drivel may cause irreversible brain damage

 

 

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 1:36 PM ET
Member Since: 10/19/2007
Posts: 1,028
Back To Top

Kim said:    Misogynistic cheesedick hero (can I say that here?)

I guess so, cause you just did :)

Warning label I'd like to see is -- "Warning!  This book is a sequel and the author repeats her previous work throughout (which was not so good the first time around").

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 1:59 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

How about just a plain: "This book Sucks-save your time and money"

Date Posted: 5/14/2008 2:30 PM ET
Member Since: 11/11/2005
Posts: 5,238
Back To Top

I'm LOL'ing at this thread.    Here's mine:

Warning!  The entire plot for this book is based on a really stupid misunderstanding or assumption that is sooooo blown out of proportion and could have been settled with one simple question within the first ten pages of the book.

Page: