This goes deep into the heart and mind process of a human being. Is there a part two? I'll be waiting for it.
Lucy looked into the darkness, her best friend, Hannah’s, breath was steady. Lucy studied the nothing and took in the smell of pine trees and rosebushes. She silently wondered if she had a chance to redo how her life played out that if she would. Lucy felt her emotions begin to boil. Her cold hands touched Hannah’s pale face. Instinctively Hannah’s eyes fluttered open.
“What?” Her voice sounded worried.
“I need to go take a walk, I’ll be back before morning,” Lucy’s voice was quiet, even though she knew that no one would be able to hear them where they were.
“Just come back, okay?” Hannah squeezed Lucy’s hand and fell back asleep.
“Okay,” Lucy whispered and she began to walk through the trees, letting her emotions take over.
Lucy was the kind of person who would hold all of her emotions back to where they would eat her from the inside. So, naturally, she would explode into a range of emotions rather than just feeling what she was supposed to.
Lucy readied herself for the first wave. She stood up tall and closed her eyes. Hatred began to flood through her body. She hated running. She hated who she had become. She hated herself. She pulled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt to reveal a large amount of scars. She studied each of them carefully by the moonlight.
She pulled a knife out of her pocket, flipped it open and just as she readied herself for another scar to add to her collection the next wave of emotion hit her. Anger spread through her entire body. She suddenly threw the knife into a nearby tree. It didn’t drop off the tree, instead it stayed there, it’s blade piercing through the bark.
It wasn’t her fault that she was like this. It was her stupid mother’s fault. She had to do that to her. She started to walk to get the knife. In the moonlight she studied her shaking hands that struggled to pull the knife out of the tree. Lucy staggered backwards after it came out and she started to slash up the tree.
She dropped the knife on the ground as the next wave of emotion overcame her. She slid down the side of the tree; her palms were jammed into her eyes as she tried to stop crying. Her tears glistened in the moonlight. She never expected this to happen. She could have been normal. She would have been normal. The small tears turned into shoulder-shaking sobs within seconds. Her back was hunched and she was shaking with the emotions running through her. Her breath was shortened and she gasped for air. Her palms released her eyes, letting her tears run freely. Lucy put her knees up to her chest and started to rock back and forth.
Wave number five hit her. Tears were still rolling down her deep pink cheeks as she thought about her life. She was hopeless. This was hopeless. Hannah was hopeless. They were hopeless. They couldn’t run forever. They couldn’t hide forever. Everything was hopeless. She didn’t know what to do, so she sat there and cried.
After what seemed like hours, the tears began to dry up and she could finally breathe right. She knew what was happening. She suddenly felt empty. Lucy felt like she wasn’t there. She was just in a body, her soul, spirit, and heart had seemed to have left her. It was if she was watching from inside someone else's body, like she was in a dream.
Her voice didn’t sound like her voice anymore. She couldn’t feel anything, and her vision was blurred from the amount of tears she had shed. She couldn’t smell the beautiful scent of the moist pine trees, or the roses, or the mildew on the grass. She couldn’t see how beautiful everything was. She couldn’t see how beautiful the sky was as the sun was rising, she couldn’t see how beautiful the purple flower buds were as they opened, but most importantly, she couldn’t see how beautiful she was.
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