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Topic: Well Duh

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Sheyen - ,
Subject: Well Duh
Date Posted: 7/8/2012 4:10 PM ET
Member Since: 10/1/2006
Posts: 2,885
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I forgot this one was here (the forum).  Quite often I talk about my situation in the CMT, and even tho I appreciate everyones input, I feel like I am defending my decisions and actions!! (yes I realize I am sure this is the same group, and I am sure I am going to put someone out).  I realize there are some things I need to change, but its hard to figure out exactly how I need to change it, to benefit everyone involved.

I am a caregiver for a family.  They are basically my parents.

Jo and Oak have ten children between them, and have 48 grandchildren, and yet who was the one who walked away from her life (tho I was going thru a crappy divorce and a roommate that had totally used and abused me) and moved in to take care of them? I did.  Now their family is mad at me, (well, one of Jo's sons isnt, he even pays for my cell phone, and a couple of other things).  Why are they mad at me? because I am so involved in Jo's life, that I "control" her diet (she is diabetic, and has to have low sodium diet, and restricted fluids) and her meds.  Well, guess what, for the past two years, I am the one who has been with her at the doctors, the hospital stays (three heart attacks, and a pulmonary edema), and everything else.

The other day one of her granddaughters (told that story in CMT) accused me of killing her grandmother, because I wont allow her to eat....and yet no one else volunteers to go to the doctor, or the nutrition classes, or anything else that I take Jo to.  Where have they been for the past two years? Sitting back and letting me deal with it, then not liking the results, well I am sorry, she is getting older, she is stubborn, and she will do what she wants.  I can only do so much.  I cant force her to eat what she doesnt like (or what is healthier) I cant force her to take her meds. 

Two months ago we moved to Indianapolis from a rinky dink town in Mo (that had nada).  Two weeks before we moved, Jo had a slight heart attack, and the famiy was all up in arms that this was a horrible idea for us to move.  Then two weeks after we moved, Jo had another slight heart attack.  Yes, I realize it was stress, and that none of us were eating as healthy as we should have been with a move.  And after all, her husband and I were responsibile for moving her (she is 67) her brother (who is 71) a dog, and all the belongings, so this was stressing everyone out.  BUT what people arent looking at, since the move, Jo is in the best health she has been in in the past two years!!   The doctors here finally have her on the proper diet (they never said much about a low sodium one, just kind of hinted at it), proper medicines, and her insulin at levels where she is FINALLY under 200 on a regular basis.  The woman sniffs a glass of milk and her blood sugar jumps 50 points!

I dont even know what the point of this message is, maybe introducing myself, and the crew I am with, lol.

The players:

Me, I am 39, divorced, no kids, and dang glad of it!! (lol)

Jolela: (aka Jo) as I said she is 67, she was basically a foster mom to me growing up, and we have always been super close.  She has been married three times (third times the charm!) and ends up, her first husband and my ex are cousins, found that one out last year, lol.

Oakley: (yep thats his name, and he has a sister named Annie, hehe) Jo's husband, he and I get along pretty good, yep, we have our spats, basically, he is the head of the household, and sometimes he thinks I interfer with his marriage, but he needs to remember, I am here for Jo's health (and after he calms down, he remembers, lol)

Marvin: Jo's brother, long story short, they were not in communication from 1985 til 2010.  Jo found out he was in a nursing home, moved him to a nursing home near us, and then when we moved to Indy he moved in with us.

and last but not least, Ezekiel, the idiot dog, lol.

I love my life, and I dont want to leave them, even tho I am not making any type of big bucks, or have much of a stable security, I have family that loves me.....some days, thats all a person can really ask for.


Date Posted: 7/19/2012 6:25 AM ET
Member Since: 1/7/2006
Posts: 523
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Bless you, Sheyen, you have your hands full!

Date Posted: 3/4/2013 7:12 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2010
Posts: 163
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wow, again I say WOW...I think the only thing I have to say about all of that is take care of yourself, because so many depend on you.


Date Posted: 2/12/2014 3:42 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2008
Posts: 742
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just remember to take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of the other's.

God has many good plans for good folks like yourself.

Many blessings to all. Even the idiot dog..lol