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Topic: What Happened to Book Receivers Saying Thank You

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Subject: What Happened to Book Receivers Saying Thank You
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 6:59 AM ET
Member Since: 5/8/2007
Posts: 2,445
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For the last month or so when people receive my books they don't bother to say thanks.  It is just a common courtesy.  I get credit as they mark they receive them.  Maybe I missed the message that we don't say thank you anymore?  Just wondering.  Linda

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 7:17 AM ET
Member Since: 9/25/2007
Posts: 357
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I'm afraid I'm guilty of that lately.   I almost always say "Thank you" to senders, but the past month has been hell.  My work hours increased drastically and by the time I get home I am exhausted.  Because I knew I wouldn't have much free time, I did 90% of my shopping online.  I would come home to a stack of mail every day...... I have Christmas cards sitting on my desk that haven't even been opened!

I would check all the packages to make sure everything was okay, including the books.  Discard envelopes that weren't recyclable, and try to do dinner and everything else I have to do at home.  At some point, I would log on and just mark my books received.  i didn't even take the time to fill out the whole survey thing about postmark dates and such. 

At this point in time, when I can finally catch a breath, life will be back to something like normal again. 

Rick B. (bup) - ,
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 7:54 AM ET
Member Since: 11/2/2007
Posts: 2,625
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Thanking people is a 'damned if you, damned if you don't' proposition - a lot of people are annoyed t go check a new PM only to see it say 'Thanks!'

So the people that haven't thanked you are maybe just trying not to annoy you...

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 8:12 AM ET
Member Since: 9/23/2006
Posts: 527
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What Rick said.  When there was a big thread about this a LOT of people said they were annoyed by the thank you's. (Mainly seeing that they had a private message- going in to check it and it's only a message saying "thanks".) Up until I read that I sent thank you's, now that kind of killed it. Still, I don't think it's an automatic here- for a ton of people this is just functional- credit for book, you're not doing them a favor so why should you thank them? If they did give you a deal or posted a wishlist book directly to you I think a "thank you" is definitely warranted.

YOu'd probably be better off just not expecting a thanks or getting upset if you don't get one- that way when you DO you're pleasantly surprised. ;)

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 8:18 AM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2007
Posts: 2,695
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and Note:  those of us that don't say "thank you" are still polite, courteous people....I for one Do Not like getting them so, I don't send them because where would it end...I say thank you for getting the book, you say thank you for getting the credit...we end up going back and forth a half dozen or so times....you got your credit...be happy!!!

Yes, if someone gives me a deal, posts something directly to my wishlist or does something above and beyond the expectations of the site then yes, that person deserves a Thank You!!!

Last Edited on: 12/30/08 8:21 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 9:04 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,601
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As others have said, there have been many long and varied discussions about this. Anyone who sends me a book can rest assured that I am grateful, just as I'm thankful that someone wants to take the books on my shelf off my hands. But I neither send nor expect thank yous as a matter of course. My PM box would be constantly full of notes that say nothing but "thank you" if I didn't just delete them right away. Getting one book a day wouldn't be a big deal, but when you send and receive a lot of books, it not only gets tedious, but would be rather time consuming to do on a regular basis. Now, if it's a book I've waited a long time for, or have been really looking forward to reading, or if you're one of my buddies or I know you from previous transactions or from some outside book group or something, I probably would send a thank you note, but it would add something about the book or make some other comment, too. I've gotten into some interesting discussions doing that!

I personally don't feel they're necessary if that's all you're going to say--to me, sending a book in decent condition is what PBS expects of me, my "job" here as it were...and I certainly don't expect to be thanked constantly when I'm simply doing my job, nor do I feel it's necessary to thank you for doing your job....to me, that's just redundant. If everyone at my work thanked me every time I fulfilled my job expectations and vice versa, we'd be spending so much time thanking each other that there'd be no time for actually working. Same principle here--I'd rather use my time for reading the book you sent!


Date Posted: 12/30/2008 9:24 AM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2007
Posts: 5,526
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I always say thank you and include something about the book or the wrapping or whatever.  I feel it is courteous.

you will find many people here that hate to get a thank you...oh well, I will still say Thank you and if it aggravates them then it is their problem not mine

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 9:45 AM ET
Member Since: 5/6/2008
Posts: 5,444
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I always say thank you too, but I did suspect once or twice the message didn't make it because when I hit submit reply I didn't wait long enough when I backed out. I don't mind the thank yous at all...then I know the book was satisfactory. I worry about that a lot b/c although my books are almost always in really great shape, some people expect perfect, and some people order them to give as gifts. Those people make me very nervous.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 10:07 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I don't usually send a thank you and I don't care if I receive them.  I don't hate the thank you pms.  But I have an iffy wireless connection and it's kind of a let down to see a PM notice then come on and it's only a thank you. I had dial up for a long time and it was really frustrating to spend 5 minutes just getting to the PM and it was just a thank you. 

I will send a thank you when it's someone from here I know that posted a WL direclty to me and skipping the FIFO wait for me.  Or someone who posted more than 1 WL book to me, offered a deal or an unpostable WL book. 

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 11:42 AM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
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I always try to say thanks for each book I get but I dont get that many so its not a huge issue for me compared to those that get 20 plus a week.

I also try to let the sender know the book made it safely and if it didnt I will suggest more tape or different packing method so they do not loose any books to the savage post office machines. But sometimes I do forget. 

I too read the thread about how annoying it is to just get a thanks for a PM, I wish they would post a few lines of the PM in the email they send so if its just a thankyou, you can read it without having to take the extra time to log in and see the PM.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 11:47 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2008
Posts: 2,195
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OMG, please check back in the history for a fifty-page long thread about this already. I'm in the "no thank you" crowd and I' m an extremely polite person. The book swap is a service. You got your book in the mail (or they did) and therefore, the transaction has been completed perfectly.

Last Edited on: 12/30/08 11:49 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 11:54 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2007
Posts: 914
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I always used to send the thank yous but after the other long post, I decided to stop sending them as so many felt offended by getting them. I am always very happy to get any book that I ordered but just didn't want to alienate anyone by sending the thanks! Either way is ok with me!

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 11:55 AM ET
Member Since: 11/15/2008
Posts: 3,308
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I'm really new and I learned what a hot button issue this when reading this www.paperbackswap.com/forum/topic.php on my first foray into the forums.  Since then, if I don't get a Thanks I don't take it personally.  I still send them in many cases, usually if the sender has gone above and beyond in some way with really good wrapping, a bazzar deal, really quick shipping or if the book is brand new.  If I have nothing to say beyond just "Thanks" however, I haven't been sending them.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 12:24 PM ET
Member Since: 2/13/2007
Posts: 2,276
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I do like the idea of including the message (ie, "Thanks") in the email that goes to members that says your book as been received. I am in the camp that likes to receive a thank you even though I do send out a lot of books, but it would be easier if that message did not come in as a PM, but as an inclusion in the email announcing it received.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 2:22 PM ET
Member Since: 7/1/2008
Posts: 6,835
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Last Edited on: 1/21/09 11:49 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 2:33 PM ET
Member Since: 1/19/2006
Posts: 472
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I think this would be less of a big deal if they included the subject or part of the message in the notification.  I admit that unless there was something special about the transaction I'm in the no thank you category and I don't  like getting them that much.  Since I'm a tour guide, I never know if the PM is a guestion from a new member or a live help question or what.  If I'm really busy, but trying to be good about my tour guide duties the thank yous feel like a bit of a burden, but I really try not to think of them that way, because really saying thank you should never be frowned upon.

I just went back and read the referenced thread and I think there is a divide between people who view this a business and people who view this as social, as well as those of us who are applying what are becoming more common "work rules" for people who do significant amounts of business by email.  The different perspectives are interesting.

Last Edited on: 12/30/08 2:52 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 3:18 PM ET
Member Since: 1/14/2008
Posts: 346
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I always try to say Thanks much! Book was in awesome condition and I am looking forward to reading it!!

Or something like that. Or I praise the wrapping, the author, the subject, etc. If I can only think of a Thank you to send, then I send nothing.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 4:01 PM ET
Member Since: 10/20/2007
Posts: 5,297
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that's all.




carry on.

Date Posted: 12/30/2008 8:16 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Last Edited on: 1/13/14 12:25 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/30/2008 9:42 PM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2005
Posts: 7,977
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Last Edited on: 5/20/10 3:00 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/31/2008 12:49 AM ET
Member Since: 1/15/2008
Posts: 204
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I've forgotten to include a thank-you note a few times...and yes, I felt guilty about it. However, there are certain instances when I never forget

(1) If the book was post marked next day or on same day as request.

(2) If book was sent 1st class (but I do remind them that media mail is more affordable in case they didn't know. And usually they admit they weren't aware of MM)

(3) If the book is a new release that will take a while to hit the swap sites.

(4) If the book is very heavy and cost an arm or a leg for postage.

Thank you.

Date Posted: 12/31/2008 1:05 AM ET
Member Since: 10/11/2007
Posts: 8,455
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I say thank you 99% of the time. If someone doesn't like it who cares.

I actually had someone pm me and thank me for the great shape a book was in. I pm'ed and told them that I was glad they appreciated it but the credit went to my 11 yr old DD. Thhen they said I must have raised her to have a great love and respect for the book to look brand new. I beamed for the rest of the day with pride !!!!

Date Posted: 12/31/2008 1:20 AM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,804
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When I am in a store and have a business transaction I say "thank you."     I say it here 99.9% of the time.   I don't think you are rude if you don't feel the same.    I'm sorry if my thank you's annoy some but you can't please everyone.    I say live and let live - or thank you or not and don't get too upset about it either way. 

Date Posted: 12/31/2008 8:59 AM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 5,008
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I almost always say thank you.  IMHO it's just the polite thing to do.  Yes, some consider it a business transaction and think that no thanks is necessary, and they are certainly allowed to have that opinion.  But as Cozi already touched on...I thank my mailman when I see him, I thank the cashier at the store when my transaction is complete, I thank the bank teller when my transaction is complete...so just because it's a simple business transaction to me doesn't mean that I don't have to have my manners with me!

I recently got a WL book, and thanked the sender, telling her that I had been hoping that it might turn up in the system (it was published by a museum and thus isn't a mainstream book).  I got a really nice note in return.  A few times I have engaged in book discussions with folks whom either I have thanked or who have thanked me.  Amazing what the words thank you can lead to!

I will add that when I order a book, I check to see who it's coming from...maybe it's a buddy or someone I know from the forums.  In one case when i checked the member had a note in her profile stating basically that if you are reading her profile because she is sending you a book, that there is no need to thank her.  She made it clear that if you'd like to discuss the book or had other questions she'd love to receive your PM but that it wasn't necessary to send a simple thank you.  So in her case I didn't thank her.  I actually thought that her putting that information in her profile was smart. 

Date Posted: 12/31/2008 11:37 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2006
Posts: 4,972
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Sometimes I do pm a thank you, but mostly I don't bother. Half the time, as long as the book is received in good shape, I do not even bother to notice WHO sent the book to me and I couldn't tell you the name two days later even if I DID notice who it was at the time I received the book in the mail. That information is just not important for me to remember.

I am not thanking someone for  doing a favor for me or giving me a gift. They sent me a book that I ordered. We had a business transaction. I wanted the book, they wanted a credit, we both got what we wanted, end of transaction. The other person is notified when the book is marked received so it is not like they would not even know whether or not the person received the book otherwise.