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Topic: What do you put in the message box when you receive a book?

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Subject: What do you put in the message box when you receive a book?
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:25 AM ET
Member Since: 1/10/2008
Posts: 345
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I'm curious how many people put anything in the message box when they receive a book -- even just a "Thanks!" 


A few weeks ago, I had some extra money (now *that's* rare!) so I picked up five or six wish list books and they were snapped up immediately.  Some of them were pretty long wish lists.  They were all received without a problem, but I didn't get a message from one single person.  These were brand new, well-wrapped books that had never even been read. 


I know the fact that I even noticed this makes me sound shallow and self-centered, and that's another issue altogether. 


So I figured this was Just The Way Things Are Here -- that people didn't want to be bothered with personal messages, since you have to log on to read them. 


I've always tried to say something -- the book is in wonderful condition, was well wrapped, or even just "Thank you!" because I do appreciate all that goes into sending a book out and making sure it arrives safely.  Lately I've been just marking them received and not saying anything, but that feels -- I dunno -- just naked!  But I certainly don't want to irritate people with my little messages. 


So -- what do you do? 

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:30 AM ET
Member Since: 1/4/2008
Posts: 389
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I always try to say something positive and especially THANKS!  Like you said, we should appreciate all that goes into sending a book.  And after a couple of negative transactions, I appreciate the good ones even more!


Last Edited on: 4/3/08 11:31 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:35 AM ET
Member Since: 9/17/2005
Posts: 418
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this is debated all the time!

I almost always send a thank you, but make it something more than 'thank you'. So I'll compliment on their wrapping, or that I'm excited to read the book, and so on.

I really appreciate it when I get messages like that ;)

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:35 AM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2005
Posts: 2,168
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If it's a nice book, well wrapped, ect, I take the time to say so. If it's a normal every day used mass market paperback, I say "Thanks for passing this on!" Only takes a minute of my time, and they can delete it pretty easily.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:37 AM ET
Member Since: 12/19/2005
Posts: 5,091
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If I get a book in great shape, I always say thanks and comment on the condition.  I almost always says thanks under any circumstances.  But there are members here who, apparently, get quite annoyed when they get an e-mail that says "thanks."  There have been several threads debating it.  I don't understand their annoyance, but since some people feel that way it probably discourages those who would otherwise thank you.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:46 AM ET
Member Since: 1/4/2008
Posts: 389
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Wow!  Those folks who get annoyed must be sending out TONS of books!  I sure like to get a short note letting me know the book got there okay.  I know we can assume it did if they didn't push RWP, but it's nice to hear from a real person.  Guess we're all different!  =0)

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:47 AM ET
Member Since: 2/7/2008
Posts: 309
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Why would people get snarky about a message saying 'thanks' ?? That confuses me! I figure it's better to say 'thanks' than nothing!

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:51 AM ET
Member Since: 1/6/2008
Posts: 23
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I always say at least "Thank you."  I usually try to add in a little something extra also, so that its not a generic thank you, especially if the book is in excellent condition or if its a WL book. 

On the flip side, I always like to receive those messages.  I like to know that the person appreciates my efforts to send them the book(s). 

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:53 AM ET
Member Since: 9/24/2007
Posts: 453
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I don't get snarky about a "thanks" message, but if I leave a message I generally do only if I'm going to say a little more than that.  I guess it's just because when I see a pm about a book I sent my first reaction is always a little stressed thinking there was a problem and feel compelled to immediately rush to that screen to make sure.  Then I get there and it just says "thanks" and I think "Oh, thank goodness" and off I go. 

So, a normal transaction honestly I don't bother the person with just a "thanks" pm.  I do sometimes pm for especially nice books or books I'm really excited about- like telling the person thanks because I really love the series and have been anxious to read this one, etc.

There's no wrong answer here I believe. That's just me.


Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:57 AM ET
Member Since: 7/26/2006
Posts: 526
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Last Edited on: 5/3/11 5:11 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 12:36 PM ET
Member Since: 11/14/2005
Posts: 6,421
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Most of the ones who complain, are complaining because they only get the word "thanks" and feel it's a waste of their time. And since this has been debated so heatedly several times, I think a lot of people have stopped saying thank you at all so as not to offend those who complain. I think it's sad that people complain that others are polite. To me it just shows a continued decline in the civility of our society.

It's like they are saying: "Either give me a paragraph about why you are thankful or say nothing. Don't bother me with just 'thanks'" That's just rude, IMHO.

Personally, I always tell the person something from just "Thanks" on up to why I appreciate it.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 12:42 PM ET
Member Since: 1/23/2006
Posts: 353
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I always at least send a quick thank you, at the very least. It's courteous, and shows the appreciation I feel when I get a book someone has sent. We've received some extremely nice books as well, where members have really gone beyond the call of duty - and I can't imagine not letting them know their efforts are appreciated.

Of course, it's not necessary - but that's not always the right metric to use, you know?

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 1:12 PM ET
Member Since: 1/10/2008
Posts: 345
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Thanks for the feedback! 


I *do* try to put more into my messages than a simple "Thank you!"  I try to find something special about the transaction or the book.  This definitely isn't because I'm a nice person -- exactly the opposite!  I'm so negative all the time -- it's just my way of working on the "silver lining" part -- LOL! 


So if any of you send me a book, be assured I appreciate not only the fact that you sent it, but the fact that you're helping me resolve my pessimistic issues.  :-D

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 1:21 PM ET
Member Since: 10/4/2007
Posts: 208
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I'm one of those that always says thank you and sometimes it is just a "thanks."   I had no idea there were debates about it.  I will continue to say something.....even if it is just a little "thanks." 

But I can't help it...it's how my mama raised me!  ;-)

Subject: when receiving book
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 2:03 PM ET
Member Since: 7/29/2007
Posts: 195
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              Kris M

  When I receive a book ,I always reply with a "Thank You" or came in good condition , I even mention the weather . What ever comes to mind . but always a "Thank You" . I think people deserve that much they take the time to mail the book .

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 2:26 PM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2007
Posts: 5,526
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I always put thanks or thank you and a bit more like I can't wait to read this book.  I'm filling out all the info anyway so why not let them know that it was appreciated?!

When people reply to me with a thanks I usually reply back and say you're welcome and enjoy the book or hope it helps (if it wasn't fiction) or something like that.

I may be pissing people off but such is life!  I like to think I'm just practing good manners.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 2:27 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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I send a thank you because I hope they would want to know the book got here okay.  That need to do so may stem from the really bad post office I have and the fact that many of my Mom's mail to me (including checks as gifts) have "gone missing".  Several have shown up torn up.  So even though the sender doesn't realize it - they are getting very good news!  :>)   I also try to say more about it especially if the wrapping was done well.  I personally do not mind the overtaping that I've read about because I live in a rural area and our mailbox is down on the main road.  And the mail person is notorius for not closing the mailbox securely...so weather happens.  I try to ask the sender if they haven't used a plastic inner wrapper to consider doing so for weather as well as protecting the book (I only get paperbacks) from some mishandling.  I got one book that only made it okay because there was a plastic inner wrapper... the PBS wrapper was really torn up.   I also thank those who use a plastic inner wrapper and tell them why.  We're expecting bad weather here tomorrow and I have some books coming in  - so I'm a little worried.WE never know when the mail comes - and packages have been left down at the mailbox on the ground before.  Not good for books.  I can see why someone (like many of the top 50 swappers) might get annoyed with a "thanks" but I'm new and under the impression that most swappers don't send out hundreds of books in a month.  Although my first month was quite busy for me.  Must be a "newbie luck" thing.  Anyway, politeness can't hurt.  JMHO

Last Edited on: 4/3/08 2:30 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 2:38 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2008
Posts: 5,297
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I always say Thanks and maybe a comment on the wrapping if it was wrapped well or maybe not so well. Usually just Thanks though.

Kim (Mistry) -
Date Posted: 4/3/2008 3:03 PM ET
Member Since: 6/23/2006
Posts: 4,111
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  I always send a Thank you and add a little message, if the wrapping is good, or if it's a book or series I've been looking forward to.  It's just polite, and those that get annoyed by that, well,  too bad. I was brought up to be polite and will continue to offer my thanks.

   A couple of weeks ago, I got a deal on some children's books. The other member ev en addressed the books to my daughter, and she was so excited to get mail.  I made sure to let the member know how happy she made my DD and me.  She was pleased that she had made my DD's day.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 3:36 PM ET
Member Since: 3/6/2008
Posts: 341
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I always put "Thank you! I can't wait to read it!" And I almost always get a Thank You or Thank You great wrapping after I send a book. There has been a couple of times I haven't gotten a Thank You or anything. But i always send a Thank You! when I receive a book.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 6:05 PM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2007
Posts: 908
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I always say thank you!! :)

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 9:33 PM ET
Member Since: 8/27/2007
Posts: 3,326
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Thanks or Thank you  Always!   Occasionally I'll add something about condition or the wrapping (positive or negative) but not very often. If there is a problem, I always note it in the bottom window for "anything else you'd like PBS to have on record" or whatever it says.

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 9:41 PM ET
Member Since: 5/5/2007
Posts: 563
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My normal response to all is:

"Thank you so much for the book, I appreciate it, Velma"

If it is very well wrapped, or they spent extra postage and it got here quicker than expected, I will also include that.

And, on the ones that arrive with poor wrapping, I still use the thank you line, and just FYI tell them the state of the wrapping and what might be done to prevent it in the future.

Most people have at least acknowleded the thank you, and some have acknowledged the constructive criticism, and for those that do not respond at all, I do not worry about it. I am not about to change at this late date.

I will have to say that being fairly new to the forums, I had not seen the posts about some senders who do not liking being thanked.

All I can say is I was raised with please, and thank you,  and I think in this day and age we could use a lot more of both.



Date Posted: 4/3/2008 10:20 PM ET
Member Since: 7/1/2007
Posts: 62
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I will always at least send a thank you. 

For all the books I sent out, I have received a thank you message.  I like them, it brings a little smile to the day.  :)

Date Posted: 4/3/2008 11:31 PM ET
Member Since: 10/26/2005
Posts: 438
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I'm with Sara.  If I'm excited to get the book, read the book, if my kids tore into the package and they're excited, if it was packaged really well or just in super condition I'll send a PM sharing my thanks and enthusiasm but not for every book.   I do not mind just getting the "thanks" messages anymore but back before I got high-speed internet and had my super slow dial-up it was a bit irritating to click...wait......click again.....wait some more........"thanks".  It was an argh! moment. LOL!!  

I don't think it's wrong to send "thanks" only messages but I wouldn't consider it the ultimate in good manners....(said with a big grin and not a smirk)... A proper thank you note should have at the very least 2 complete sentences.   That's what my momma taught me and what I'm passing on to my kids.  We can get real creative about that second sentence too when they can't honestly say "I love it, can't wait to use it."  LOL!! (are my grins coming through the computer?)