What I never told anybody

-

I have a room that no one knows about,

That I keep things in, some big and some small,

I sneak away there while you sleep,

-

Once there was a large block of clay on a table,

I would sit and watch it for long stretches of time,

Imagining what it could be,

Often I thought about touching it, shaping it,

But I couldn't.

-

Why you ask?

I was scared, terrified to be more specific,

Eventually it was all that I could think about,

I would see it everywhere, but that is not suppose to be how it worked,

-

STAY IN MY ROOM,

But it wouldn't, it followed me,

I tried to reason with it,

What do you want?

I would cry,

-

It never said anything it was just there,

Now, when I was able to get in my room,

I was furious at this stupid clay,

So angry that it would not leave me alone

Alone, yes, leave me alone

-

After months of this,

I turned to leave but stopped,

Putting my hands on the cool surface for the first time,

Yes it was real, pressing into it,

Tracing my name into its surface,

Ok, that is a start, I will be back i said

-

And true to my word I came back,

Water and sweat shaping the block,

Little things first, everyday working on it,

Covering my mistakes with new clay,

Blending it in to what I wanted it to be,

-

Almost finished, just a little less here,

Changing things back and forth,

Not really making any material improvements,

I was just scared again,

Scared to be finished,

-

As I looked at what I had done I was proud,

It was a shame that no one would be able to see it,

Those are the rules, what is brought to my room,

Stays in my room,

Yes that is what I said,

But it is so beautiful,

I could see that now,

-

As I waited to make a decision,

I heard a knock.

-

Sorry wrong room, he said

But he did not leave, he was looking at what I did,

How did he find me, I panicked

I tried to stop him, but did not really want to,

-

You should take this out of here,

No, a protested half heartily,

But he lifted it and took it from my room,

Yes, I will show you where it should go,

And he did.

-

I have since forgotten about my room,

Forgotten how to get there,

There is nothing I need from it anymore,

Just look what I have done, it is beautiful.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Matthew N. (thinkfirst29)

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Comments 1 to 6 of 6

Kristine S. (NHBookLover) - 1/7/2007 8:27 AM ET

We all interpret things we read in our own fashion and I have no clue how you meant this when you wrote it. I feel a sense of freedom at the end; you had something balled up inside of you and it was gnawing at you. When the opportunity came for you to rid yourself of it, you took it, wanting to let this out all along but fearing the results. Now you are free and can look back and wonder why you were afraid. But we all are. Thanks for sharing this one. I liked the feeling at the end. Relief, freedom, and maybe contentment.

Lori S. (shooky) - 1/7/2007 9:37 AM ET

Matthew, I love this poem and it's presentation. It saids so much to me... awareness, struggle, fear, pain, ugliness ---- the uncovering... the reshaping ---- and the discovery of the inside beauty. Thank you

Jim H. (Pecos45) - 1/7/2007 9:44 AM ET

Good imagery.

Maria P. (BklynMom) - , - 1/9/2007 7:15 AM ET

Your story caught me up until the very end. I hope you are free and happy with whatever happened!

Sarah F. - 4/27/2007 4:35 PM ET

Very insightful - for me, the clay is the self - the real you that's kept hidden and that you don't want to face. You run from it until you can't any longer and then when you really look, it's not as bad as you thought - just needs a little work. Finally, someone else sees the self you've discovered and sees the beauty in it. And, at last, there is no more hiding the self away - there is no more need for the secret room. I really identify with a lot of the sentiment expressed. Great work.

Kathleen S. (newship24) - 10/16/2007 11:55 PM ET

This was a wonderful journey. I was drawn along and happily satisfied.

Comments 1 to 6 of 6

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The Eclectic Pen - What I never told anybody

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