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This is a small section from a book that I am currently writing. Last Edited on: 12/26/11 4:26 PM ET - Total times edited: 2 |
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Honestly, the first part needs to be reworked. A better sense of where she has walked into, would help. Is she in a house or a room?
Fire trying to force itself down her throat, and she is not being burned? Not feeling the heat? Is the fire the only light in the room, which would also be reflected in the girls eyes. And no I'd never tell anyone to not write, this just needs some work. Work which all writers have to do at some point after their first draft. And I am gathering that the piece above aren't the start of the story where the main character is explained or why she is where she is. |
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thankx xen! I'm fixing it up! You're right, this is about the middle of the story since I just wanted to hear another person's opinion! thanks again! |
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