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Topic: Where are you from?

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Subject: Where are you from?
Date Posted: 7/17/2008 3:19 PM ET
Member Since: 9/14/2007
Posts: 226
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I'm interested to hear about everyone's backgrounds -- where you grew up, when/if you came out, how it went, where are you now?


I'm from a tiny town in Ohio. It was not OK to be gay. I knew since I was 12. I didn't come out to anyone until the summer before I left for college. Only then I came out to my closest friends. Then I moved to Chicago and was out since the first day. What a huge happiness that played in my life. It seems everywhere I go here I am surrounded by queerness. It's quite lovely. I wish every place was this accepting and full of Pride.

Date Posted: 7/19/2008 7:03 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Hi Carolyn!

I grew up outside of Philly. I had boyfriends all through high school but also purchased Early Embraces: True Life Stories of Women Describing Their First Lesbian Experience (Early Embraces) by Lindsey Elder in 11th grade!  I remember thinking about bisexuality a lot in high school and my good friend and I used to talk about kissing, but we always got too nervous (She is now in a relationship with a woman as well).  It wasn't until college that I dated my first woman- - sophomore year.  And I came out to my parents through that relationship.  They weren't surprised.  We didn't talk to much about it, and I think that was mostly my fault.  After college I moved to California for a little under 2 years and I really finally felt comfortable with who I was.  So when I moved back to the east coast I've been completely out and it's made it easier for them to feel good about it too!

Date Posted: 7/20/2008 4:53 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2007
Posts: 426
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I was born in a suburb near Ft. Lauderdale and Miami Florida.  There were gay people around but I didn't know any.  There were drag queens around, but I didn't know any.

When I first said I was a boy, at the age of 5, my parents tried to beat it out of me.  I learned to be very quiet about it.  There was no doubt that I was boy crazy though thus I assume they thought I would be a heterosexual female.  I begged for a sex change at the age of 10, after learning that mtfs existed thanks to Dad and "Ed Wood", but then was told they couldn't turn girls into boys only the other way around.  I finally came out again when I was 20 (in college, already married, in a suburb of Atlanta), I knew the words "transgender," "transsexual," and most importantly "ftm" and there were a variety of reactions.  My mother said she knew.  My grandmother is still in denial.  My father was ok originally, my step-mother convinced him to disown me.  

 I've been out as a gay male (with an unfortunate birth defect) since 2002.  I know who I am and I am getting more comfortable with being me.  I am proud of who I am and I am taking steps to correct the unfortunate circumstance of my birth. 

I feel very badly for those who continue to harass me, both online and in person, along with those trying to dictate who I am and who I must be because of their experiences with transgendered people.  In my signature there is a Cisgender bingo game, I still experience all of this constantly and may for the rest of my life.

Date Posted: 7/21/2008 2:05 PM ET
Member Since: 6/13/2008
Posts: 358
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Hi All! I've lived in NJ for my entire life. In a town about 45 minutes outside of NYC. Not ok to be gay. Very strick parents. I've known since the beginning of highschool. During my second year of college (not far from home, but far enough to freedom) I came out to my friends and sorority. Friends from back home abandoned me, never talked to me again. Friends at school were totally accepting. I now live with my gf of almost 5 years about less than 10 minutes from my home. I never came out to my parents. They've asked questions, told me if i was they'd disown me. So I have an imagined bf. I work in NYC- at a magazine publishing company. Everyone that I've told is cool with it. And most of my NJ friends are lesbians so it's all good :)
Date Posted: 7/21/2008 5:33 PM ET
Member Since: 6/18/2008
Posts: 27
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Last Edited on: 8/3/09 9:35 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 10/7/2008 1:25 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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I am 36. Been with my partner now for 5 years raising our 4 kids.

I came out when I was 27. I left my husband(yes I got married) with our 2 kids in tow. It was a bumpy start. But now I am doing great. I feel closer to being myself than I have ever felt before.

I've always known that I preferred women though I didn't know the terms "gay" or "lesbian".... I've known since I can remember.... as far back as 4 or 5. I suffered from severe depression all of my childhood and most of my adulthood. And thanks to my wonder partner, I have found peace with myself.

Date Posted: 10/7/2008 2:07 PM ET
Member Since: 7/5/2006
Posts: 4,669
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hugs to you all.. I wish the world would jsut accept us as we were meant tobe.... I'm straight, but have always had GLBT friends and knew even before they came out to me... I'll never forget the first time a HS friend came out.. we were sitting on the steps after school and he said "I have something to tell you and I'm pretty sure you'll be okay with it...I have a crush on H-"... my  response was "C-that's totally cool, cause I do too, he's ahotty"  then we talked for a while about cute guy butts.  I just wish I could have been more of a friend to others that were afraid to come out.  I grew up on military bases, and went to DODD schools, so being gay was serously frowned upon and made fun off... although being a lesbian not as much.  I went to all all girl's college, but in the south... it was guilt b y association there.. I lived in ahouse with  some lesbian couples.. so of course Imust be one two.. and these are educated people! gah!

peace and love to you all :)