Whims and oddities Author:Thomas Hood Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: PLEASE TO RING THE BELLE." I'l,l tell you a story that's not in Tom Moore:— Young Love likes to knock at a pretty girl's door : So he call'd upon Lucy—'twas j... more »ust ten o'clock— Like a spruce single man, with a smart double knock. Now a hand-maid, whatever her fingers be at, Will run like a puss when she hears a rat-tat: So Lucy ran up—and in two seconds more Had question'd the stranger, and answer'd the door. The meeting was bliss ; but the parting was woe; For the moment will come when such comers must go: So she kiss'd him, and whisper'd—poor innocent thing— " The next time you come, love, pray come with a ring." A RECIPE—FOR CIVILIZATION. The following Poem—is from the Pen of DOCTOR KITCHENER !—the most heterogeneous of Authors, but at the same time—in the Sporting Latin of Mr. Egan,—a real Homo-genius, or a Genius of a Man ! In the Poem, his CULINARY ENTHUSIASM, as usual, boils over ! and makes it seem written, as he describes himself (see The Cook's Oracle)—with the Spit in one hand!—and the Prying Pan in the other,—While in the style of the rhymes it is Hudibras- tic, as if in the ingredients of Versification, he had been assisted by his BUTLER ! As a Head Cook, Optician—Physician, Music Master- Domestic Economist and Death-bed Attorney !—I have celebrated The Author elsewhere with approbation :—And cannot now place him upon the Table as a Poet, without still being his LAUDER, a phrase which those persons whose course of classical reading recalls the INFAMOUS FORGERY on The Immortal Bard of Alton! will find easy to understand. ' Surely, those sages err who teach That man is known from brutes by speech, Which hardly severs man from woman, But not th' inhuman from the human,— " The Cook's Oracle." Or else might parrots ...« less