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Topic: wrong book - not wrong book - rude?

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Subject: wrong book - not wrong book - rude?
Date Posted: 4/9/2012 9:06 AM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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I sent a correctly posted book but the person receiving the book wanted the cover art to match and when she received the book she sent me a note that said I sent the wrong book. My reply is below.


Hi, I didn't send you the wrong book, I sent you the book with the ISBN 9780446310789 which is the ISBN you requested. The binding matches. The cover does not need to match per the information from the site. I have copied and pasted that below for you.

Here I inserted the info from the site explaining cover art didn't need to match

 I'm sorry, this is not a mistake on my end and I will not be refunding the credit. I would ask you to please mark this as resolved or mistakenly marked at a problem.

Thank you.              


The response she sent said that my response was rude and that she didn't care if the isbn matched. She wanted the cover art to match (no RC). Of course,it's too late to change my response although I did say that I was sorry she thought it rude, not my intention. But do you think my response was rude?


Date Posted: 4/9/2012 9:13 AM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,729
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No, I don't think your response was rude at all.  It was clear and to the point and let her know it was her mistake.  She could be reading rudeness into it because she doesn't want to be the one in the wrong.

Sometimes your typed words can come across as rude, there's no voice inflection or facial cues like there is in a face to face converstaion to help convey your intention.  The same thing said to someone wouldn't be seen as rude but typed out, it can be taken that way.

Date Posted: 4/9/2012 9:38 AM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2007
Posts: 2,667
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You were not rude but I think  that this part of your response was a bit blunt: 

"I'm sorry, this is not a mistake on my end and I will not be refunding the credit. I would ask you to please mark this as resolved or mistakenly marked at a problem."

 If I was feeling emotional about receiving a book that I was excited to be getting and then it wasn't what I really wanted I might perceive it as rude.

Date Posted: 4/9/2012 9:50 AM ET
Member Since: 7/12/2010
Posts: 4,177
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Your response was fine. Don't sweat it; her problem, not yours.


Date Posted: 4/9/2012 9:52 AM ET
Member Since: 6/25/2007
Posts: 5,637
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Not rude at all. She's just butthurt because she doesnt understand the rules and didn't get what she wanted.
Date Posted: 4/9/2012 10:13 AM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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I agree, your response was not rude. It was clear and to the point. I don't see why you would have to be overtly apologetic when you didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

If she complaints to the Team, she doesn't have any leg to stand on.

Date Posted: 4/9/2012 10:28 AM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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Just for context - here is the entire series of PMs. I have removed her name of course.


Problem: Wrong Book--Different Binding or Version

The member to whom you shipped your book has sent you this personal message:

"I am teaching a class at the local High School and I need to have the same version that they are using so we can be on the same page. This version is different than the one pictured when I ordered it."

You did get credit from the system for sending the book. ***The requestor is asking you to refund credit for this book.***

For more details about this problem and how to handle it, please refer to the email sent about this transaction.


 Then my reply as above
 This is her response telling me I was rude.
I did not request the book for the cover art. I just wanted the same book I am teaching so that when I read to them I am on the same page. Your replay was quite rude. I don't care if you give me a credit or not. So don't get your undies in a twist. I just wanted the book shown in the picture. Whatever.
 And then my response to that. I really would like her to mark the problem as either marked in error or resolved but I doubt she is going to do either.
I'm sorry you thought my reply was rude. It was not my intention to be rude. I was trying to be very factual and explain to you (by using the exact words from the site) that I sent exactly what you asked for.

If you would like the book that matches the picture, you could try again with someone else. To be sure you get the book you want,add a requestor condition that says that it must match the cover art. That way, someone like myself who had posted the correct book per the sites rules, but hasn't the matching cover art would decline the offer and your request would go to the next person.

Again, I would ask that you mark the transaction either resolved or better yet, marked incorrect by mistake. Thank you.
Date Posted: 4/9/2012 10:30 AM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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Looks like my whole message didn't go through. Dang. Guess it's a sign I need to just let it go. I was trying to just state the facts. I did reply to her that I wasn't trying to be rude and then told her how she might get exactly what she wanted (RC) and then again asked her to mark the transaction either resolved or marked in error.

Date Posted: 4/9/2012 11:00 AM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
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I'd just give her a few days to breathe, and if she hasn't marked it, then PM her again in a week asking her to please mark the transaction resolved.

Rude, no, to the point yes.  I'd not sweat it.

Date Posted: 4/9/2012 12:24 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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I see your pm as to-the-point and factual, which works just fine b/c it's basically a business transaction for a book.

It's unfortunate she doesn't understand the site rules and therefore received a different book than she was hoping for.  But the mistake was her own, and there's no point in being rude to you about it.  If she doesn't do her member duty and mark the transaction resolved in a few days, you should refer the situation to TPTB.

Regarding the textbook (is the book a 'real' textbook or merely a book used in the classroom?), just because the cover is different doesn't mean the content is different than those used by her students.  In addition, textbooks often have edition numbers for each reprint that is different from previous editions/edits.  If the member ordered the wrong edition, again that is not your mistake.  But I wouldn't get into all that, b/c you mailed a book that matched ISBN, binding, and title/author...your job has been done correctly.

Last Edited on: 4/9/12 12:26 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/10/2012 1:50 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 38,082
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You're pm wasn't rude, but I thought hers was.  I would send it to tptb if she doesn'/t mark it as resolved.

Date Posted: 4/10/2012 2:41 AM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,226
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Clearly she is not really that reasonable about the transaction, I'd just let her know you did not mean to be rude, just pointing out to her how the site works and leave it be.  You showed great restraint in dealing with someone who is acting very childish and unreasonable.

Date Posted: 4/10/2012 6:43 AM ET
Member Since: 4/8/2012
Posts: 4
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You were not being rude, just as others have said "to the point." This person's dilemma seemed to be rather ignorant, and it wouldn't make much sense to be nice and wander through the problem. The solution should come about as quickly as possible.

Date Posted: 4/10/2012 8:55 AM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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It has been resolved. Thank you for the support and help.


Date Posted: 4/15/2012 1:12 PM ET
Member Since: 11/6/2011
Posts: 5
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I'm glad it has been resolved and many more happy book swapping to you.

Date Posted: 4/16/2012 1:47 PM ET
Member Since: 4/2/2007
Posts: 6,068
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EXACT thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. She refused to mark it received. ISBN and binding were a match. Cover was different. Arghhhh..