Dear Library Selector,

Why the heck did you just buy more copies of Tangled Up in You, when there are plenty of them available and you don't even have Not Another Bad Date on order yet?

Dear Heroes of Category Romances:

Why the heck don't you ever just EXPLAIN about your ex-wife or whatever it was as soon as the Big Misunderstanding happens instead of refusing to say anything until it all bursts out of you at the very end in two pages of loggorhea? 

Dear Fictional Kids,

Get the hell out of my romances before I throttle ya!

Dear Whiney Wench,

Why don't you hike up those big girl pants, find a sense of humor and your brain and quit waiting for your man to figure out what the hell ails  you.

Dear Bookstore owner,

Please quit buying 150 copies of books noone will ever read and only 5 copies of the latest "must have" romance!!!   Not everyone gives a flying flip about what Oprah is reading!

Signed,

A disgruntled ROMANCE reader

Dear Shannon McKenna, SEP, Cherry Adair....

Please write faster!

Dear Oprah,

Please stop telling me what to read and send me some money:P

Dear friends and colleagues,

Please quit judging my chosen novels. I love romance! I think they are vastly entertaining. This does not make me silly or imply that I am unintelligent...I just like a little love and smut every now and then. Get your judgmental noses out of my business!

Love always,

Me :)

Dear Kids,

Shhh!!!

Go play, I am reading.

Love,

Mom

Loggorhea? LOL, omg Willa- you totally cracked me up!

Dear Bookstore Patrons (who don't actually end up buying anything),

It would be awesome if you didn't treat the bookstore like it was your living room. Your loud cellphone conversations, unruly evil children that you don't seem to want to parent (though you keep having more of them), messing up displays, cracking the spines of books your flipping through and your taking up of all the good chairs is a tad on the annoying side. This also applies when you and your family go to the movies- remember, you can talk FOR FREE outside! Also, taking your young children to a 10 PM rated R movie? That's not very kosher.

Dear Fictional Kids,

Get the hell out of my romances before I throttle ya!

Not something I care for either. It's harder and harder to find contemporary romances that don't have the single/divorced/widowed female or male with offspring. 

Dear Bookstore owner,

Please quit buying 150 copies of books noone will ever read and only 5 copies of the latest "must have" romance!!!   Not everyone gives a flying flip about what Oprah is reading!

Case in point:  I go to BAM to see if they have the new Jillian Hunter book.  They had only ordered ONE and it was gone. However, they had multiple copies of Oprah recommended drivel.  *sigh*

Please quit buying 150 copies of books noone will ever read and only 5 copies of the latest "must have" romance!!!   Not everyone gives a flying flip about what Oprah is reading!

This I hate as well as not having the author's previous books available - especially when you're dealing with a series.  The brick and mortar B&N's drive me crazy with that.  You read a new book by an author, you like it - you go to the store to see her previous works and they HAVE NOTHING THERE.  WTH?  This is what keeps me ordering my books online people!

Dear Fellow PBS Members,

Please stop using abbreviations when you write that I have no idea what they mean because I am somewhat computer illiterate and feel stupid asking....but what the heck does DH mean?

Also, I would appreciate it if you would take all the naked men off of your signature line because my husband and kids walk in everytime I'm on this forum and they come face to face with Gerard Butlers butt.  They then pass judgement on me and my choice of reading material (see Jessica's post ).    Thank you.

Monica P, here is a website with a long list of common online abbreviations: http://www.netlingo.com/emailsh.cfm

DH means "dear husband" although it's also possible the D refers to another word not as nice as Dear. These abbreviations are used all over the net. Hope that helps you.

Dear PBSers:

Please don't put the back cover blurb as the only text in your review. I just don't wanna read the exact same blurb 20 times, but I do enjoy reading how you felt about the book.

(I'm probably preaching to the choir here though)

Dear Bookstore:

When a hot new must have book comes out, please have it easily on display so I may run in and out.  If it's a romance and I've looked in the Just In section up front, the little 4-way display up front, the Just In section in Romance AND under the alphetical listing for the author...don't make me go to the Help Desk and ask for it.  Don't tell me its in one of the four places I've already looked.

And then don't make me wait 20 minutes while you retrace my steps before you FINALLY go get a copy out of the back. 

But, if you're going to go through all that (and make me go through all of it) why don't you save yourself some time and effort and bring out more than my one copy when you do bring it out.  Why not (here's an idea!) restock the book at the same time!

Disgruntled book buyer

Dear PBSers:

Please don't put the back cover blurb as the only text in your review. I just don't wanna read the exact same blurb 20 times, but I do enjoy reading how you felt about the book.

Amen to that!! 

Dear Harlequin Presents,

Usually I enjoy your awful titles, but... The Millionaire's Inexperienced Love-Slave???!!! That goes WAY over the line. Several lines!

Dear Nora Roberts.

Take a sabbatical for heavens sake!  Your books are all the same, your heroines use the same lines, and your villians are contrived and ridiculous.  Plus I'm tired of your books taking up shelves and shelves at the bookstore and library.  Let someone how has some new ideas have a chance.

Sincerly former fan

Oh Willa thanks for the laugh.

Dear publisher, please stop making the paperbacks so expensive

Dear publisher, please do mass market - it's cheaper and they fit in the purse easier (not for stealing LOL to sneak into work and restaurants, etc!)

Dear authors, while I'm beginning to like paranormal more than before please everyone stop writing them and go back to your other stuff (jayne ann krentz, nora roberts, erin mccarthy) ETA: I love Nora Roberts' Irish trilogies and most of the 'regular' ones but the Key trilogy is the only paranormal one I've gotten 'into' and that was pushing it. Ditto with Krentz' pollitically incorrect alpha hunks..not everyone's psychic or something...

Dear Lucy Monroe, please do more books with those hunks like the mercenaries and goddard project..they're so hot! and those are trade size I don't mind paying for!

Dear Judith McNaught,

Please start writing historicals again, I would be ever so grateful

Denise

Oh I have a new one...

Dear Bodice Ripper,

Though I love your manly, manly ways. I sometimes wonder how much sense you have. Most of the time I find you in my favorite historical novels, and due to the general lack of clothing the women own or the availabilty of new items on ship I wonder why you destroy the only clothes the poor girl has. What if that was her favorite outfit!

All I ask is please - - - think before you rip! If you are an earl or rich and well equipped to outfit your woman feel free to rip away, but please dont leave her naked on ship with a bunch of sailors/pirates!

Sincerly,

Everyone's favorite costume manager

All I ask is please - - - think before you rip!

LOL!

dear books from the UBS,

Please stop looking perfect and postable and then turning out to have one page that got damp.

Dear LUBS owner,

Please quit being bitchy when I come into your store. I would love to share in your wealth of knowledge in my darling books, but I feel as though I am not up to snuff every time I visit you. Sometimes I am berated for not keeping a list of what I have read, I have finally gotten to a point where I can't remember them so I do now keep a list, and other times I am reading a series out of sequence. Unfortunately most of the time it is just general bitchiness! of course when you don't want to trade the books I have for new used ones we reach a whole new level of irritation!

Love,

You would be loyal customer....

Sorry ladies apparently I have a lot to complain about lately :)

...I would appreciate it if you would take all the naked men off of your signature line because my husband and kids walk in everytime I'm on this forum and they come face to face with Gerard Butlers butt. 

Monica - If you go to Settings and scroll down to Forum Settings, there's a choice for you NOT to see people's signature images. Just click no on Show other members signature images.

I have it disabled because I check this forum a lot at work, LOL!