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Book Review of The Thing About Jane Spring

The Thing About Jane Spring
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Jane Spring is an assistant district attorney who was raised by her military father. She was taught that people (she calls them civilians) must not be trusted and that she must live by the qualities a good general would. This means always telling the truth (whether it be a man's performance in bed, or if someone is wearing an inappropriate outfit to work) always being disciplined, and always saying what's on her mind. Needless to say this has not won her any friends in life save one and every relationship she's ever been in has ended after the second date. Completely clueless to her off-putting attitude she continues about her daily life alienating people one by one and causing her secretaries to quit after a week.

She then decides that she's not getting any younger and needs to find a husband sooner rather than later. Once again she goes about this with military-like precision, scaring every male in her wake and not getting any closer to her goal. Then viola! Jane figures that she needs to find a mentor to teach her the ways of men because clearly her father's ideas on the subject (that men valued loyalty and honesty above looks and charm)were wrong. Remembering her Grandmother's love of Doris Day movies she sets out to become Doris Day; wearing her Grandmother's clothes, cutting her hair, painting her apartment yellow, and assuming the demeanor of Doris. People in her life don't know what to make of this new Jane Spring, they think its a scam to get her ahead in court. Men flock to her and people actually start to like the new Jane.

This book was terrible. From the beginning to the end I had to force myself to read it. Jane acts like a robot with no thoughts of her own. When she becomes Doris Day the plot gets even lousier because Jane's transformation seems like the workings of a crazy person. As someone as intelligent as they make Jane seem her actions reminded me of someone who has been living in a cave their whole lives. I refuse to believe her military upbringing brainwashed her to the extent that is written in this book.