Cynthia F. (frazerc) reviewed on 4/5/2011 + 672 more book reviews

Fun read!

Confessions of a Vampires Girlfriend is an omnibus edition of two very funny young adult novels published under McAlisters pen name of Kate Maxwell: Got Fangs? and Circus of the Darned.

Got Fangs?

Our heroine is Fran, a 16-year-old girl who thinks shes a freak. Yes, I know most 16-year-olds think theyre freaks but Fran is definitely not your average girl. Shes 6 feet tall and, in her words, built like a linebacker, her parents are divorced, her mother is a witch (for real, not the kind most teenagers think of), and then theres the fact that she has to wear gloves all the time since if she touches you with her bare hand she gets a quick visit to your head.

Since her father has just picked himself up a trophy wife he has sent Fran to stay with her mother. So Fran is now stuck in a trailer with her mother traveling around Europe as part of a GothFaire. Some very odd people are part of the fair including magicians who can do real magic, a psychic with a dead boyfriend (really dead, like a couple of hundred years dead), and a demonologist who dresses, talks, and behaves like Elvis. Her best friend at the fair, is Imogen, a 400-year-old Moravian woman reads palms and rune stones.

Our hero is Benedikt, Imogens younger brother. (Younger, but not that much younger.) Benedict is a Dark One, a soulless vampire. Unlike many of the more popular vampires, Dark Ones are truly cursed. Not their fault, in most cases, as their curse is the result of something an ancestor did. But there is a cure, if a Dark One finds his Beloved and bonds with her he gets his soul back.

Benedict has been searching for his Beloved for almost 300 years. He plans to love her and protect her and decide whats best for her. Then he meets Fran, and she is his Beloved, but shes not too sure about the love thing, is not impressed with the protect part and he better get over the idea of making her decisions.

So heres never-been-kissed Fran, with an instantaneous super hot boyfriend shes not sure shes ready for, with baggage shes really not prepared for, and a white witch mother who is really unhappy with the thought of her 16-year-old daughter dating the soulless undead and the power to do something about it.

The plot is pretty light involving Fran solving the thefts at the fair, acquiring a very old horse, and being forced to read palms at the fair to earn the horses upkeep. Of course there is the part about Ben dying, or the part where she and Imogen beat up a demon, and the part where Fran learns that a Mississippi kiss is better than an Iowa one (Read the book for an explanation of that one. Oh, and dont worry about Ben, hes sort of immortal.)

Circus of the Darned

Fran is still at the GothFaire which has now moved to Sweden and joined with a group known as the Circus of the Darned. These folks are not average either, since they are part of a religion that still worships the Norse gods.

During this story, Fran acquires a necklace imbued with the power of Loki, raises a group of thousand-year-old Vikings who think she is a goddess and want her to get them to Valhalla. Along the way she has to take the Vikings shopping, meets the goddess Freya, who is annoyed at being called from a party in Venice, motorcycle riding Valkyries who have been staying at a resort in the Mediterranean, and Loki who wants her horse (dont ask why) and his necklace back. In the process she gets herself cursed by Loki (but she keeps her horse and the necklace), her Vikings get sent on to Valhalla, and her romance with Ben advances a little.

The sequel to these two books is called In the Company of Vampires. It is not a young adult story, though it is certainly Ben and Frans story. It is also #8 in the Dark One series published under her Katie McAlister name.

Dark One

1. A Girls Guide to Vampires (2003)

2. Sex and the Single Vampire (2004)

3. Sex, Lies and Vampires (2005)

4. Even Vampires Get the Blues (2006)

5. The Last of the Red-Hot Vampires (2007)

5. Bring Out Your Dead (2006) (in Just One Sip)

6. Zen and the Art of Vampires (2008)

7. Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang (2009)

8. In the Company of Vampires (2010)

9. Much Ado About Vampires (2011)

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