Amanda (AmandaBullock) - reviewed on 2/8/2016 + 10 more book reviews

Helpful Score: 1

I can't currently think of a way to word this without sounding too harsh, but with every page this book just gets worse. The concept is pretty good, and the reason I picked up the book in the first place, but the execution is rather sub-par. It's getting increasingly harder and harder to pick it back up. The beginning was intriguing, you learn about the "heroine" Juliette and you learn of her "scary" situation, which forces you to keep reading to find out what happens. However, a boy comes into the picture and now I feel like I'm ready a 12 year-old's diary. The past few chapters have been nothing but her weird borderline-stalker infatuation with this guy she's known for a week. It's not good romance, it's not even good YA romance, it's diary crush-y gaga romance. They have pinned each other against the wall and have just breathed in each other's ear about 15 times in the past 20 pages. They have not had a conversation without having each other pinned to the wall.
In the beginning, Juliette showed him who was boss, she led him around, started to take control; once he [betrayed] her she fell hopelessly madly in love with him and now the entire book is about him. I could definitely do with quite a bit less of such cheesy romance. I want to know more about what's happening in the world, with the protagonist and her powers, the antagonist and his powers, etc. I need a strong plot and some decent character development going on, but to be honest I'm not sure what I'm reading anymore.
"He leans in until his forehead rests against mine and our lips still aren't close enough. He whispers, "How are you?""
....I'm pretty sure no one asks "how are you?" like that. It would creep me out even if my actual boyfriend did it. So, no.

Another issue I can't get past is the fact that you can't connect to the characters. You WANT to LlKE the main character of a novel, but Juliette had nothing to connect with. She has no depth, no strengths, nothing that makes you want to root for her. If I had to guess her age by her actions, I'd say she's maybe 8. A hard market, YA sci-fi/dystopian is. In order to have one worth reading, you must make readers fall in love with the characters. Hunger games, for example: every teenage girl loves Katniss. You've never lived in a dirty district and had to hunt for your family or be thrown into an arena to kill people, but you still connect and root for her to come out on top. Juliette has nothing that makes you like her, or want to like her. And because of that, it's hard to connect with the book at all. You want to kill Juliette for being a lousy hero, and you want to kill Adam for being a lousy soldier/informant/whatever the heck he is, and you want to kill Warner for being such a lousy villain.

It's also really really really really hard to get over how so so so repetitive Mafi's writing is. It's repetitive. It's hard to get over it.
(See what I did there? That's basically how the whole book reads.)
"Adam doesn't answer doesn't answer doesn't answer doesn't answer. "Yes, sir," he says."
Well, does he answer or doesn't he? One "doesn't answer" would be more than enough.
"I'm calm I'm calm I'm calm I'm petrified"
Okay, are you calm or petrified? Hard to be both, sorry. Would be more beneficial to be more precise in internal conflict presentation.
"I dodge/hop/narrowly avoid them..."
This is something we're taught not to do (in writing) in about 5th-6th grade. No need to be redundant, it reads much better if you just say 'I jumped, narrowly avoiding them...'
These three awful quotes just came from the last three pages I read. There's at least one on every page.
Here's another for your pleasure:
"You killed him... You just killed him... Why did you kill him why would kill him how could you do something like that..." (Really a run-on like that)
Seriously, something like ""You killed him," I stammered. "How could you do something like that?"" is MUCH more powerful.

Oh... Any metaphors, you ask? THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. They make no sense! I feel like I'm in kindergarten trying to learn how to read, but really it all just makes no sense in the first place.
"There are 400 cotton balls caught in my windpipe"
400? Cotton balls? Windpipe? What? See a medic?
"I blush through my bones"
Are you human? Not possible. Doesn't even sound pleasant. Or poetic. Don't know what the author was going for here.
"The world is bleeding"
This is so out of place and makes no sense at all.
"The sky is weeping for us"
It's raining. That's all. You have done nothing to deserve such dramaticism.
"I stare hard into his crystal-cold eyes."
Did you mean "crystal-clear"? Or "crystal, cold"? I have many crystals and they are all room temperature. I can't imagine or picture the eyes in question, and that is a big mistake for an author to make. Perhaps it should read like "I stare deeply into his ice-cold eyes." It portrays that even though the coldness is acting as a barrier, there is still depth to be seen.
All these metaphors sound like they were written by middle schoolers. Y'know, that 6th grade assignment where you have to write 10 metaphors and turn it in for a participation grade, so you really don't even try? Yeah.

I feel bad for Juliette, I really do. The fact that Mafi had to turn her into such an unpleasant character is unfortunate. She had so much potential. Instead, she's a weird mix of x-men and twilight. Books always seem to go downhill when characters find people who can't be phased by their powers. It sparks an obsession.
I would've liked to see this book go a completely different route. I want to see Juliette go through her inner and outer struggles with strength and dignity. I want to see her intellect, her cunning. I want her to get close to the bad guys and then hurt them. I want to see SOMETHING that isn't her cowering on the floor, crying, or gushing over Adam (who's awkward himself, by the way. His sentences usually go something like "Uh.... Well.... Okay..... Yeah.... Juliette...." *That is not a real quote*)
"No, God, Juliette... I'm not..."
That is a real quote.

All in all, I just don't think I can finish this. I've only abandoned 3 books in my lifetime, so that shows this one is truly bad. If you like books with poor plots, poor characters, and poor writing, then read this. Otherwise, save your money.

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