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Search - The Art of Relating : 45 Interpersonal Relationships

The Art of Relating 45 Interpersonal Relationships
Author: Patrick J. Aspell, Dee Dee Aspell

The co-authors are a unique team that blends theory and practice. Their personality and relationship can be described in the words of the Enneagram and will give you an idea of how interpersonal relationships are presented in Part III of this book. Patrick is an Observer (or, in Enneagram numbering, a #5) who gathers data, reflects on ide... more »as, and explains things, while Dee Dee (#3) is the Achiever who acts on the ideas, publishes, and communicates them. In their relationship, he tends to be an Intellectualist who operates more from his thinking than feelings, detaches himself while involved, reflects on their interactions, and likes sharing ideas with her. Dee Dee relates as a Doer who is outgoing and sociable, experiences their relationship as a task in which she needs to succeed, and feels close to Patrick when they do things together. Patrick is the Thinker who analyzes and theorizes about a project, while Dee Dee is a Producer who works to get results and complete tasks. He is a Systematizer who organizes concepts into a grand vision, while she is a Motivator who activates both Patrick and other resources to attain their goals. Patrick wants their relationship to be rationally managed, and Dee Dee desires to get results in the way of interpersonal development. It means a lot to her to be praised for her talents and productivity by Patrick. He likes his ideas to be understood and recognized by Dee Dee. Their relationship is enriched as they treat each other in ways that each likes. Patrick encourages her to journey to the life-giving Six by stretching beyond her individual interests to find greater fulfillment in realizing the common good of the relationship. Dee Dee supports him in his efforts to move toward the life-giving Eight by being confident and expressing his feelings. Patrick's tendency to get absorbed in a world of ideas and Dee Dee's inclination to become wrapped up in her work can lead to a neglect of their relationship. In her work mode, Dee Dee may use his talents to get what she wants. Patrick's excessive analyses may bore her. Dee Dee may be annoyed by any inefficiency on Patrick's part, while he may be irritated by her cutting corners to get quick results. Dee Dee is quite persuasive in convincing Patrick of something she wants. Her assertive and energetic communication style contrasts sharply with his stoic and laid-back style. She can be quite confident in bringing disagreements with him to a successful outcome. Patrick observes and analyzes what is happening between himself and Dee Dee when disagreements occur. Impatient with long intellectual discussions by Patrick, Dee Dee wants to put ideas into action to find solutions to problems. He likes to have a clear idea of the problem and solution before he does something. When Patrick accepts Dee Dee for who she is rather than what she accomplishes, she experiences her higher self and appreciates her own self-worth, giving generously of herself in the relationship. As she motivates him to actively participate and share his feelings, he awakens to his higher self which goes beyond knowing to living and acting in the relationship. WHAT What’s the book about? We are pleased and honored to share with you the outcome of our personal and interpersonal journey through the Enneagram. “No man is an island,” wrote John Donne, the English poet. We are either attracted to others, moving away from them, or adjusting to them. Life is an adventure in relationships. Why are some people enthused and fulfilled in their lives together, whereas others are troubled or traumatic? In the Art of Relating, you will discover the answers to successful relationships. You will learn how to succeed in relating to others. You will acquire invaluable insights to help you to know yourself and others. You will gain access to the inner life of persons—thoughts, beliefs, feelings, motivations and more. Knowledge of Enneagram personalities empowers you to know individual styles of relating, discover ways of creating rapport, communicating and managing conflict, and choose directions for progressing personally and interpersonally. You will discover your personal relational Enneagram style! You will grasp who you really are as a person! You will awaken to your unique style of influencing and working! You will tune into your talents and what you appreciate in a relationship! You will lay hold of how you think and what motivates you! You will clearly see how you relate to others, and your way of communicating and managing conflict! You will appreciate members of a team! You will strengthen your self-image and develop your interpersonal style! In this resourceful book, you can discern your unique personality and relational style by reading the descriptions of the nine personality types and relational styles. You can grasp what motivates you and how you think, your relational focus, the values you appreciate, and your direction for personal relational development. The authors' opinions do not originate from, and are not intended to express the views of any institution or school of thought. Neither is this book intended to be a work on therapy. It is a book on personal and interpersonal empowerment. We invite you to embark on your life-giving journey of personal and interpersonal empowerment with courage and confidence in your innate giftedness and in your unlimited potential. We wish you peace and fulfillment. It is obvious that people share similarities and differences regarding race, color, height, weight, speech and so on. The ways they are alike help them get along together, unless, of course, they are bored with sameness. Their differences are another matter. People have different gifts. Some are blessed with assertiveness or caring, while others are gifted with knowledge or optimism. Some differ in wants, purposes, needs and values. Others differ in beliefs, thoughts and perceptions. Still others differ in the way they feel and behave. These differences can be a source of enrichment or conflict. Depending on whether people perceive each other’s differences as wrong, stupid, or sick, they may attempt the frustrating project of trying to remake one another in each other’s image. The Pygmalion project is fraught with conflict as each person resists letting his/her uniqueness be distorted. What couples see as differences in each other are in reality what makes them each unique, distinctive like each individual snowflake with its own particular design. As the saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life.” The variations and differences in couples can make life exciting and enriching when they see them as contributing in a unique way to their relationship. The Enneagram system offers a framework in which to appreciate the differences among people. To understand the uniqueness of other people, you need first of all to appreciate your own individuality. With an accurate picture of who you are, you are in a position to precisely understand other people. Use this book to appreciate who you are, how you process your experiences, and why you act the way you do. Learn about the chiaroscuro of your personality and relationships, their strengths and shadows. Most of all, acknowledge and accept the rich diversity among personalities and relationships, especially your own.

ISBN-13: 9781881773030
ISBN-10: 1881773035
Publication Date: 7/12/2000
Pages: 229
Rating:

0 stars, based on 0 rating

Publisher: Lifewings, Ltd.
Book Type: Spiral-bound
Members Wishing: 1
Reviews: Amazon | Write a Review

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