I admired her ease with life, her gifts bestowed simply because. The admiration became envy - I don't know when. I wanted to be thin, call my father daddy, and have a mother who was "concerned". I wanted starched shorts from The Mall not wrinkled jeans from Goodwill. I wanted a regular dinner time. And regular dinner. I wanted a brother who majored in business not bidnez. My grandparents were dead, my breasts weren't perky and my hair didn't gleam. I wasn't quick with numbers or a good cook. She didn’t mean to condescend. But the envy became jealousy and the wall jumped between us. |