I read this book before I was engaged, again when I was engaged, and again when I was married. It is very obvious that theologically, Joshua Harris is well on the reformed side, so there is a heavy dose of predestination in his thoughts on "choosing" your mate. I enjoyed this book mainly because I enjoy reading anything that glorifies God in our families and our lives, and that is what the author seeks to do. But I was never completely comfortable with this book, because it seems to make a lot of rules and regulations seem "spiritual" and even "biblical," but from personal experience, those rules did not play out in my own (wonderful, God-seeking) journey towards marriage. There are lots of good things to think about, but also a lot of things that can easily confuse.
For example, I don't agree at all (and especially not in the last nerve-wracking months before my marriage) that an engaged couple shouldn't even talk about sex until after the alter. However, Joshua writes it as positively sinful to even think about such a discussion- which, even though I was firm in my own mind, caused twinges of doubt about a healthy and necessary discussion I needed to have with my (then) fiance. This is just one example, but he spends a lot of time dwelling on details like these that make it seem almost impossible to have a "Godly courtship" (in his painting of the term). People who are truly seeking God, but don't fall exactly in line with his tight definitions, simply don't need the guilt trip.
Ultimately, I think the point of the book was that God can be trusted, even in your wait for a spouse. Honor Him, seek counsel, don't rush, and, in your relationships, honor the person, and your future marriage, by being intentional and pure. Good message, I do recommend this book if anyone is looking for encouragement or ideas in their view of the relationships which lead to marriage.
By the author of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and better read after that work.
Harris doesn't pull any punches as he gives suggestions and examples of couples who chose to be more other-centered than self-centered during their courtships.
We hope our kids will embrace the idea, but chapter on the physical urges will put this book on our shelf for a few more years!
This is a book with a Christian perspective on dating. It offers some good adivice as well as some interesting thoughts to consider about your dating relationships. While everyone may not agree with everything in the book I think it is great at proposing many ideas worth considering. I enjoyed the book and got a lot out of it.
I read this book when I was dating my now husband - almost 6 years ago. While I don't agree with all of Joshua Harris' dating rules, reading it together gave us an opportunity to talk about boundaries and expectations. It challenges you and yes...it's frustrating at times. I admire his courage in writing this book. It's well-written, honest and a great tool for dating Christians.
Wonderful book with new insights into "dating" vs. seeking a relationship leading to marriage. Covers engagement from a Christian point of view-- abstaining from sex, not living together, premarital counseling, etc. I enjoyed this book as a college freshman and it helped me to see dating in a different light as something I could guard my heart against foolish relationships that would go nowhere.
I loved thsi book. If you are looking for an alternative to traditional dating, this is it. Biblically based, Josh gives details about his journey from dating to courtship. His own story, as well as many other anecdotes, brings authenticity to this topic. I would read the first book. I Kissed Dating Goodbye first.