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The Eclectic Pen - Just emptying my head

By: Christina M. (horrorbookaddict)  
Date Submitted: 3/20/2009
Words: 390

  What am I good at? I think about this all the time. Sometimes i'm sure of who I am but most of the time I don't know who I am. My sister is so talented. She can sing and act and incredibly funny. She does well in school. I cannot sing, horrible in school, no way can I act. My mom is a take charge kind of person. No matter the situation she can come in and run things like it is a peice of cake. My dad was in the marines for 22 years, need I say anything else about what he is good at. I look at everything that makes them unique and I can't help but think what am I good at? What makes me unique?

I never follow through anything in my life. I like to sew but I get bored with it. I've never had a job longer than a year. I was even in the army and i barely made it 2 years before I got married and pregnant and then I got chaptered out because of pregnancy. Yes I choose that but at the time it was the right desicion both me and my husband were going to deploy and he wanted me to stay behind. So I did. I think the only huge accomplishment I ever had was my son. My mom says I am a great mother. I've always been great with children. And now i'm pregnant again. I am a stay at home mom.

That isn't horrible either. Well to me anyways. I can stay home and take care of my son. I keep the house clean and take care of everything for my husband so that all he has to do is the whole army thing and I take care of everything else. I love taking care of them. I geuss that is my calling. Does that make my life less meaningful because I don't have any career goals? Is it wrong for me to be perfectly content in where I am in life? I don't think it's being lazy. It's hard work taking care of a toddler and a soldier and soon to be another baby. Well I was just emptying my head out. Just some of the things I wonder some times. Maybe I just think too much.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Christina M. (horrorbookaddict)

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Comments 1 to 5 of 5
Kimberly Z. (chiKaD27) - , - 3/20/2009 9:38 PM ET
If I may comment..... you so don't think too much. You have to wonder about things or life becomes meaningless, tedious, and incredibly unbearable. That is not laziness, it is what you can do and what appears to be what you are great at. No one can say you are a good mother unless you actually are one. Career goals, Shmareer goals. If you are good at something, no matter what it is, do it! Quit worrying about what else you could be doing. There is always time for careers, but you can never have enough time for family.
Mary S. (HerMuffyness) - 3/21/2009 12:00 PM ET
Christina, me think you think too much! You sound like a lovely person and not all of us are even THAT!! (I'm a bitch!) You know what you are good at (being a mother) and not all of us are good at THAT!! (I had one child and it was too much for me - she is bi-polar) Your family loves you AND your husband loves you and some of us are not good at THAT either! (My hubby is still with me - he's my third - but I don't speak to my family) You are a great Mom and everyone knows it - what more can you ask for! Quit thinking and go forward! Her Muffyness
Linda (wherearemyglasses) - - 3/22/2009 9:27 PM ET
Don't think so much...gets you into trouble everytime. Just be.
REBECCA O. (sunnybrookgal) - 4/7/2009 11:41 PM ET
Thanks for sharing this, I wonder the same things too sometimes. I am also a stay-at-home mom and a homemaker. I have come to love the gentle rhythm of my days, the sweetness of caring for my daughter, sharing in her life as she grows. We live on a small farm and I feel very contented in what I have chosen: the repetitive cycle of my years, of new plantings and of harvests, of new lives and of losses. But it does nag at me sometimes, that maybe I should have been more ambitious, tried to accomplish more than live my simple, quiet life. I have a college degree and I feel sometimes that I should have done more with it, to justify the time and expense that went into it, and the sacrifice that my parents made to help me achieve it. Perhaps someday I will. But for now it is good to know that somebody else is out there questioning too:) So thank you.
Louis H. (swapcat) - 4/11/2009 11:22 PM ET
Your head-emptying worked! It is an excellent way to find out what is going on, and what the answers can be. And somewhere along the line you learned how to write well enuf that I read your whole "emptying". And am not sorry I read it, as I am about some stories I read.
Comments 1 to 5 of 5