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The Eclectic Pen - Without Fear

By: Jena M.  
Date Submitted: 1/16/2009
Last Updated: 1/16/2009
Genre: Biographies & Memoirs » Memoirs
Words: 956

  As a child you look to the ones that are there to love you and protect you from harm; as a young child that was not the case for my brother Rick and myself. Our father left when I was two years of age and to tell you the truth I do not remember much about him except that he was an alchoholic.
My mother was a beautiful lady that at the time put her all into taking care of rick and myself and we where her world. My moms name was Lynda a tall brunett with the voice of an angle. Lynda's one draw back was that she wanted to be loved, like any woman she longed for a man to treat her like an angle to make her fell like she was worthy to be alive.
I do remember the day that Jack arrived in our lives; he was a tall bald man who beleived that having a fist of steel was the way to run a house. Jack was a classic alchoholic I suppose that these is what my mom that that love was someone who treated her as if she was lesser of a person. I remember that the smile that Lynda had at one time soon vanished soon after Jack moved in. The signing stoppped and the fear returned. Jack had a habit of smacking us kids around and frequantly Rick had a bloody nose from him. From Jacks furry he would drink and abuse my mom and us. We indured Jack for around two years when mom finally had enough, I remember the day vividly it started with him slapping mom around and threating her with a knife that he held to her neck. The rest of the day went like the this. Mom had to live us kids to go to work however, she promised to be back in a few hours told us to stay in our rooms and to stay away from him. After Jack passed out Rick and I thought that it would be okay to come out of our rooms to watch t.v and eat. Well that was a mistake I can not repeat what he called us however, he was furious that mom was gone went to get his gun and started waving it aound yelling Lynda get out here or I will hurt the kids. Fear over took Rick and myself we ran from the house to the next door's house to call mom. Lynda came home to find him holding the gun too his head and threating to kill us all.
Jack soon was takin away by the cops and we moved. The smile still did not retune to mom or her voice of an angle ( how i misses her signing). By the age of five mom was once again of to the races finding a new husband and a whole new set of problems.
Why is it that woman feel that they have to have a man in there lives to feel whole and to be needed even when it is at the expence of their children? Chris was the new man in her life they marreid within a couple of months and things looked good; maybe just maybe things would be good how wrong I was. Life for my brother and myself became our own little hell on earth. Chris was an alchohic and a abuser not of our mom but of us. And the thing that I will never understand is that she let him; at the expeince of her kids hurt she found love. Back in the seventys abuse of children was not discused or thought of, it was somthing that was left behing close doors and just done.Chris loved his booze and mom seemed to fall head over heels for it too. As children you tend to do things that you are not suppose to do however, we wher small children and at the time we thought nothing of it to drink a soda was suppose to be okay or to eat a twinki was what children do. Chris on the other hand had to have the controll of what was done he would yell, hit and say thing that put the fear of god into us. Rick was my protector my saint he would try to protect me from harm however, he was only 6 ans 1/2 years old. Chris would be furiouse that a soda was missing so his thought was to find out how did it but the way he went about it frightned us his way was to make us up-chuck so he could see what we had in our stomuchs. And when he found remmints of it in rick tummy he had to pay the price. That day is eched in my mind and I still can hear the screams of rick as the paddle was hitting him so hard that it would swing out of chris's hands and put holes in the wall. The thing I dont understand is that mom let it happen.This was a small part of our lives it got much worse as the years past until we left home at early ages. As of know I have not seen Chris for years know Rick is at peace with him and well mom she passed away at the age of 51 and she finally did in her own way apologize to me for staying with him. I miss my mom and the love she was showed us and I do still miss her voice at times I still can hear her signing in the angilic tone that she once had.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Jena M.

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Sharon D. (dulcimer42) - 1/23/2009 3:58 PM ET
OH my gosh. Is this really a true story? If so, you are certainly a survivor, to have gone through all of this and still have love in your heart for your mom. Are you male or female? How old are you now? Have you managed to find a partner to be with? I hope you have chosen more wisely than your Mom did. You certainly deserve some real love in your life. A very well written story. With some guidance, you could turn your story into a best seller book.
Jena M. - 1/23/2009 6:53 PM ET
Sharon, yes this is a true story however, it is only a small part of my life as a child. Life was not easy for us. I am female, 38 years old and yes I am married with five children. My mom has passed away about 12 years ago at the age of 51. Thank you on the best selling book idea right knoe Im back in school finishing my associats degree in business than moving on to my bachlors in education. So the book will hold off for a few more years. And I would like to say that yes I have forgivin my mom do to the relationship that I have with the lord, without him Im nothing and can not find the forgivness that I so despertly needed.
Comments 1 to 2 of 2