I liked the story. The lead-in could possibly be edited tighter, details incorporated into the story, or completely dropped--emphasis on "show, don't tell." Good sense of timing and action.
|Bet you didn't know vampires exist.
I hunt them, trying to rid them from the earth with other members of my team.
My name is Blayton. I'm only twenty, but I've killed eighteen vampires. That may seem incredibly unlikely, but it's true. Deal with it. Oh, gosh, did I forget to mention I was clairvoyant? I can touch things and I get visions of what happened to that object or around it in any point in time. I had to wear gloves a lot. Maybe that helped with the vampire hunting.
I've been trained by the very best in all things vampire hunting.
Vampires are still underground, figuratively and even physically. There's a secret organization of us Hunters who try to stop them from killing any more. It's hard, I'll tell you that much. Killing a vamp isn't as easy as Blade and Buffy make it look. The heal so damn fast. Some of the only ways to kill them are with stakes, silver plated weapons and bullets, and crosses.
The problem with vamps is that they're like a virus. They keep infecting people, and more and more vampires arise.
I've witnessed it first hand. It wasn't pretty.
I was captured once, and a vampire made me watch the process. I'd never seen anything more horrifying in my twenty years of life.
Anyway. Want to see life through a Vampire Hunter's eyes? Come with me. I'll show you.
It was a Tuesday evening, and I was out by myself, not a very smart thing to do for a Vampire Hunter.
New York City was where I was, and the place is infested with the undead. They're more than vampires out there, such as demons, witches, and werewolves. But I usually only go after vamps.
I rounded the corner on Jefferson Street, hands deep in my pockets, trying to look natural, unarmed.
About halfway down the street, I came to the bar. It was just opening. I looked behind me, and making sure no one saw me, walked inside.
The place was very dark and had Gothic music playing, black lights and a fog machine made the look perfect.
“Welcome to Ole' Bloody Bar,” said a hostess to me. Weird name, huh? “How can I help you?” The woman looked at me up and down uneasily, as if she wasn't sure I was underage or not. I may be seventeen, but I look twenty-one.
“I'm supposed to be meeting someone here,” I told the lady without hesitation. Her smile brightened. “What name?”
“Blackford.” The boss. The vampire.
She looked startled that I had a meeting with the man, but she led me to a table, consulting a clipboard. “Anything to drink?” she asked me as I slid into my seat. “Coke,” I told her. She nodded and walked away.
I settled in and waited for my vampire. Now, usually, bars don't have hostesses, but this was an out of the ordinary bar. It seemed to be part night club, part bar, and part restaurant, considering the booths. I honestly haven't been to too many bars, but still it seemed weird.
The lady brought me my drink and put it on a coaster. I took a sip from it and set it down.
I wasn't unarmed in case you were wondering by now. I had a gun in a hip holster and a knife in a sheath under my long sleeved shirt.
Thirty minutes and two more Cokes later, the vampire still hadn't shown. The lady, Sally, her name was, came up to me for the third time and told me that her boss was running a little late and would be with me shortly. And for the third time I told her to tell him to take his time. The drinks were on his tab.
He was the one who actually arranged this meeting, knowing what I was too.
About ten minutes later, a tall man with pale skin with dread locks walked into the bar and took a seat across from me.
“Blackford?” I asked, leaning back, my hand dropping casually to my side.
“Yes. Are you the Hunter?”
I felt my eyes widened. “Um, yes.”
The man smiled, and I saw his...different looking canines and incisors. I instantly regained my composure and leaned forward. “What do you want?”
He smiled even wider. “You're help.”
That caught me off guard again. “My...help? I should be killing you by now!” I growled in through gritted teeth.
If it was possible to smile any wider, than vamp would have done it. His fangs even came out a bit. Either this man was thirsty, or he was turned on. Oh, God.
Then my trained nose picked up something, something only a Hunter or another vampire would have detected. Blood.
This man had fed before he met me. I nearly pulled my gun out.
“With what? What do you need my help with? Don't believe I can be hired by your kind.”
“If you help me, I'll close the bar down.”
It was my turn to grin. “I can close it down with your death, right here and now.” The vampire scowled at me.
“I'll pay you.”
“Don't bother. I'll kill you for free.”
His fangs were fully out now. Scary. “Listen here. You're in my bar. With other vampires.”
I sat straight and looked around. The vampire laughed. “Did you really think I would be the only vampire here?”
I looked back at him. “And do you really think I'm not armed? Do you want to bet your life on it?”
Blackford leaned back in his seat and eyed me with new eyes. “No,” he said simply. “No. Can't we work something out?”
“Tell me what you need help with first.”
Blackford cast his gaze around the bar before answering. The black lights made him look even paler than he already was. He turned back to me and said slowly, “a...monster.”
“Other than yourself?”
“I am serious. There is a monster roaming our city, killing my kind. I and other vampires have met about his and we have decided to actually go to the Hunters for help.”
My mouth hung agape. “Me? Why me?”
Blackford smiled slightly. “You're a very good Vampire Hunter, but you're certainly not the first one we've gone to. We hired another called Conners more than a month ago. He hasn't reported back to us in four days. Too long for us. So we've come to you now. How many have killed of us? Sixteen?”
“Eighteen,” I corrected him smugly, but in the back of my mind I pondered the fact that another Hunter took this offer.
His eyes widened a little bit, then went back to their usually dull look. “See? This...thing hunts us. We need it dead.”
I chuckled. “Why would I want to stop something that's killing vampires? Maybe I could become friends with this thing. You know, my enemy's enemy is my friend?”
The vampire was not amused. “And after the beast has killed all the vampires it can, who do you think it will turn to next? That's right. Humans.”
I held my glare. “What makes you think I can kill this thing?”
“Because you both hunt us. I'm sure you will find a weakness in it.”
Maybe he had a point. Maybe.
“Okay, how much?”
“How much what?”
“Money, bloodsucker.” Vampires hated to be called that.
He scowled at me, as I predicted he would. “Five thousand.”
“Good-bye,” I said, standing.
“Okay, okay. Seven thousand is the highest we'll go.
“Fine. We...have a deal.” I still couldn't believe I was doing this. “Do you have anything for me to go on?”
He pulled something from his back pocket. It was a piece of brown skin. It didn't look human. I nodded and stuffed the thing in my pocket. I'd “read” it later. He gave me an address, saying that this was where the thing last killed. I thanked him curtly and left. I didn't look back as I walked out of the bar. Not a smart thing to do with vampires behind you, but I was feeling bad-ass.
I walked out into the cold night air. I looked up and shook my head. You could never see any stars in New York. I walked down the sidewalk and rounded a corner. There was no way I was going to be hunting the thing that had been killing vampires without all my equipment. I got into my Mazda and roared down the road.
I unlocked my hotel room door and walked in, casting my wallet and cell phone onto a chair next to the window. I put my gun on the nightstand next to my bed. I stripped down to my undershirt and some boxer shorts and my gloves. I held the piece of brown, inhuman skin in between my gloved hands. I set it on the bed next to me and slowly pulled the gloves off, still looking at the skin. Closing my eyes, I reached to my side and grasped it. I was instantly swept into waves of blackness.
The blackness comes only wit the most vivid and clear visions. And the most gruesome.
I found myself in a monastery looking place. I looked around, knowing that I wasn't really here, but it sure felt real. I saw a figure on the stage, holding something above his head, whispering something. It didn't sound like English, and it didn't sound good. This man was a witch.
Something was happening behind him, and black mist had begun swirling in a whirlpool type movement. This was wrong. This was evil.
A long, clawed hand reached out through the mist, followed by an arm, then shoulder and head. The head was a mass of teeth with two beady black eyes. It was thin to the bone, I saw when it's entire body came through the mist. It had wings folded back behind it. It's skin was the same color of the skin that I held in my hand in the physical world.
The witch smiled, chanting louder. Then the thing took notice of him. Before the witch completed the spell, the thing lashed out with its long arm—which was about five feet long—and sliced its claws through the witch. The witch looked startled at being attacked by the creature he had summoned, but then his face gave way to agony and he fell, dead. The beast began to feed upon the witch's body. And as it did, I could see muscles broaden in under its brown leathery skin. After the feeding was done, it stood to its full ten foot height and let out a screech.
I was pulled further into the vision.
I saw flashes of the thing killing humans, then it had found a vampire, and it began to only hunt vamps. Growing stronger and bigger with each feeding. Then, I saw the battle in which the skin came into Blackford's possession, and that's where the vision ended. It was hurled back into reality. The entire vision laster no more than three seconds. When my eyes opened, I was gasping and drenched in sweat. I fell back onto the bed and smiled. I'd seen the beast's hiding place. I'd hunt it the next day, when all my strength was back. I stood weakly and went to the bathroom, stripped my clothes, and took a hot shower. I walked out, towel still around my slim waist, laid on the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.
By the next afternoon, I had a positive lead on the creature and its whereabouts.
Blackford gave me the address of where the last killing took place. Unfortunately, I was staying in the middle of Brooklyn, and I needed to go all the way to Hawthorn, the other side of NYC. The fastest way to go would be to go one the Bronx River Pkwy, then continue on to Sprain Brook Pkwy. Combine that distance with the hustle and bustle of everyday NYC life, and you have a day's worth of driving. I was just about there, no more than twenty minutes now.
Sprain Brook finally gave way to Taconic State Pkwy. I turned off on an exit and found my way to Milford St, then I located the correct address.
Police line barred the doorway, but that didn't stop me. I pulled out one of my knives and snipped the yellow plastic easily. Since I always wear gloves, no prints will ever be traced to me, so I didn't worry about that illegal crap, not me the big Vampire Hunter.
After picking the lock and checking to make sure no one was looking, I walked inside the house and closed the door behind me.
Even though they moved the body a few days ago, the smell of blood still lingered. I followed the stench until I got into the kitchen.
The refrigerator door was still open, the power out. I eased my way around a dried pool of blood on the ground to look into the fridge.
I reared back, my lunch threatening to come back up.
Every thing that was edible in the fridge was now all covered in blood, a finger was throw almost lazily to one side atop a cabbage. Some of the food was also growing mold, that mixed with the smell of blood was unbearable. I turned and slipped on some blood.
I landed on my butt in a small puddle of the red stuff.
But that did not grab my immediate attention.
The blood I had slipped in should be dried up. After closer inspection, I saw that this was fresh blood I had slipped in.
I was on my feet in a second, gun drawn. I listened carefully for any noise.
The blood I slipped in had a trail that led into the living room. I followed it out of the corner of my eye, but my gun was searching for any possible targets. I went into the living room and followed the blood trail down the hall toward a bedroom.
The stench of charred flesh suddenly filled my nostrils. Why I didn't smell it before, I don't have a clue.
I slowly walked down the hallway, placing one foot silently in front of the other. I shed my leather jacket and let it fall to the floor in case it hindered my movements if a fight arose. I continued into the bedroom.
There aren't even words to describe how utterly...disgusting it was.
Pieces of flayed limbs were strewn all about the room and blood covered the entire bed covers. An entire side wall was scorched, as if someone had taken a flamethrower to it.
And on the floor right in front of the bed was a the head of a man with two days worth of stubble on it. His face was perpetually locked into a look of pure and utter terror.
I put a hand to my mouth and backed out of the room. I slammed the door shut and leaned against it, slid down to my haunches. I swallowed hard.
Before I knew what was happening, my cell phone was in my hand and I pressed the two button. The Hunter agency.
The Vampire Hunters aren't really apart of a secret government really...we're more like a loose band of rebels, only better organized than rebels. But there are only about a hundred of us at the moment.
Anyway. I called our superiors—we may be a small group, but we have superiors like everyone else—and they told me they'd be there in a few minutes.
I leaned my head back against the door and sat my butt on the ground, legs outstretched before me, my hands on either side of my thighs on the ground. I took a few deep breaths.
Then I heard it.
Big foot steps, coming from around the corner of the hallway. My heart caught. It had never occurred to me that the thing that had done the mess on the other side of the door at my back could still be here.
My hand went for my gun. Then I suddenly realized I had dropped it on the other side of the door. I felt a scream gathering in the back of my throat, equal parts frustration and fear. How could I have been so stupid as to have dropped my gun? Me? The big scary Vampire Hunter?
But, of course, the gun wasn't my only weapon. I had the knife on each forearm, and I had another smaller gun tucked away in a hip holster. And a few more knives tucked away here and there.
I had no time to reach for any of these things, because the monstrosity rounded the corner.
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