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The Eclectic Pen - The last words said

By: Susan Q.   + 7 more  
Date Submitted: 2/10/2009
Last Updated: 2/17/2009
Words: 191

His breath was slow, a small sound in the silent night. He lay on his deathbed his arms shaking slowly. A tall boy walked in.

"Father what is wrong", the boy asked.

"Son" the man said "you must...". But before he could finish his eyes closed. A small ghostly figure rose from the body, and the boy watched horrified as it drifted up into the star filled sky.

"Father", the boy said tears streaming down his face onto the dead mans body; I will do whatever you ask. Then with one final sob he lay down on the hard wooden floor and slept. His dreams where ones of sadness, love, and glory.

He woke once in the middle of the night, "You were a great man father" he said, and he even thought he saw the body of his dead father smile.

By: Michael Age:11 Susan's son

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Susan Q.

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Comments 1 to 2 of 2
Susan Q. - 2/17/2009 7:48 AM ET
Any suggestions on making this peace better are welcomed. Michael
Marta J. (booksnob) - 2/17/2009 5:01 PM ET
Wow, Michael, the fact that you can write this well at the age of 11 is amazing! I predict great things from you in the future. The only thing I can suggest is--keep on writing!
Comments 1 to 2 of 2