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The Eclectic Pen - Leg Waxing Blues

By: Sherree B.  
Date Submitted: 1/24/2007
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 267

  The deceptive, little box said, “you can be free!
Of the time-consuming, wretched shaving misery!
No more nicks or cuts or scrapes
Just slap it on, and you’ll escape!”

So Amanda melted gold in my favorite pot,
Stirring the cauldron ‘til it got quite hot,
Never understanding the toil and trouble,
Caused by the wax melting, boil and bubble,

The directions said, “Just put a little on.”
But she was on the phone, just wanted some fun,
Slathered the whole leg in gooey, yellow glue,
What a nasty surprise when she was through,

She couldn’t believe what a royal pain,
Whoever could do this would have to be insane,
No one could expect her to rip off this mess,
When it would be over was anyone’s guess,

She’d try and then she’d quit and then she’d try a little more,
Anticipating pain, she’d sink woefully to the floor,
As her Mama, I should have been very sympathetic,
I cracked like a coconut, booming laughter quite frenetic.

She grabbed me by the leg, said I had to do the torment
But promised retribution if lasted more than a moment
I tried to pull it off, but she yelled for me to “Stop it!”
She couldn’t take the pain, so I had to drop it.

She wandered ‘round the house in a fulminating funk,
Even tried hot water to remove the yellow gunk,
Once I saw her with a knife, “What in blazes was she thinking?!”
Tried to saw the hairs off, no success with all her tinkering.

The only casualty of the day, my little copper pot,
The waxed baked on so solidly, I didn’t have a shot,
Of cleaning up the goopy mess, erasing all the errors,
This little day of beauty grooming, Man, it was a terror.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Sherree B.

Member Comments

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Comments 1 to 6 of 6
IONE L. (zaneygraylady) - 1/24/2007 5:34 PM ET
really funny
Jennifer D. (i--luv--ChRiSt) - 1/24/2007 6:47 PM ET
lol -- not trying that!!
Jim H. (Pecos45) - 1/25/2007 9:11 AM ET
A side-buster. :)
Tabitha C. (tcarlsonwade) - 1/25/2007 11:02 AM ET
Hahahaha1! Great! My husband was even rolling in the floor!
Anna H. (dancingqueen18) - , - 1/25/2007 1:56 PM ET
How funny! I love it!
Jessy R. (txjessy) - 2/5/2007 10:23 PM ET
Too funny! It's sad what we go through as women.... *LOL*
Comments 1 to 6 of 6