Two nature’s beat
Within my breast.
Do mind the things of the flesh.
The one is cursed,
that are after the spirit
The other is blessed.
The one I love,
The other I hate.
The one I feed
will dominate!”
Unknown

Good morning Arleen;

I have begun reading Bill Meyers Blood of Heaven, and I like the way he writes, but as I was reading it, I realized that prayer is all important and that my praying sporadically for my family isn’t enough. I have to continuing praying for them every day/every moment that they come into my mind. They have to have me to stand in the gap for them, because there is no one else. I know all their problems and I have spent years not praying for their salvation. Time was pushing forward and the devil was winning. All those years I let time pass by without praying for them, when I knew that they were unsaved and needed God’s help. I was selfish for not wanting to have them saved, and that self-absorption cost me years of not having a family.

Heavenly Father,
Please forgive me for being so selfish with my own salvation message. I know that without you, my family is lost, but I didn’t want to help them, because they had hurt me. I now understand that the devil wants us to be self-absorb, and unforgiving. That way, he continues to torture their soul.

As I was reading, I started praying whenever I felt it necessary. I had this picture come into my mind and it was so clear that it looked like a photograph and then it turned into a movie.
I was praying to God that I was so happy to be in his family and in his army.
And I thought “When I meet Jesus Christ…
Before I could continue; this picture came into my mind.

(And Arleen it was so perfect, so clear and it made me feel so a part of it, I can’t explain how wonderful it was).

I saw Christ at the head of a million people, standing in a single line, touching each others shoulders and holding on to Christ who was looking forward to Heaven. It was warm and beautiful and Christ was in pure white-light clothing. He was surrounded by a warm light, just like the light from the sun when it first comes up over the horizon in the morning and the day is fresh and new.

I was looking down at the line. I thought “I will be a part of the line, and those people are the followers of Christ. But I starting thinking that I would not be next to Christ because I am still a sinner. I said to myself, ‘Even if I was the last person in line. The very last person. I would still be in the line of God and I would be with Jesus.”
All of a sudden the picture changed and I saw myself at the very end of a line of these millions of people following Jesus Christ. I was holding on to the person in front of me in this very long, long, line, and behind me was a chasm.

I was looking down at myself, standing in the line, and right behind me was an endless deep chasm cut out of the earth. It was so deep that you could feel the darkness coming up from it, and I was holding on to that Christian in front of me for dear life, so I wouldn’t fall into that pit which was filled with darkness and fire all at the same time. I knew it was better being the last Christian in line then not be there at all. I could see myself look over the chasm, but I wasn’t afraid. I was
Holding onto Jesus Christ and He would never let me go!
Gosh, it is wonderful!
He would never let me fall in to that pit.

Only through my own free will and stupidity, could I lose my salvation. Only I could turn away from God and be left behind. Even during the darkness of the death of my family and the lost of my friends, I have never wanted to turn from God’s love. There have been times when I did not turn to Him for comfort and strength as well as love and forgiveness, and those times still happen. When I am lonely or unhappy, I will stew in my crabbiness, until I can’t stand myself any longer, and then I turn back to God, so He can take away the pain.
BUT,
I have grown in my faith and try more often to let God comfort me instead of food, or other distractions.

The safety that God offers is something I have searched for all my life. And finally after all these years I am starting to realize that Jesus Christ is the only protection against these feelings of loneliness.

I wish I could draw everything that I saw, because the whole scene is in my mind and it is so clear that I saw it like a photograph.

More than once I have tried to draw in my life. I have gotten books on how to draw and I wasn’t completely successful but I didn’t fail either. They were good but not great. I can copy the drawing in all its details and sometimes, it looks as good as the artist’s rendering. But other times, it is just bad. But I keep feeling like I probable can draw.

God has given me the gift of taking great photographs. I can see the moment coming, before I shoot the picture. More than once, while I was shooting firemen’s funerals, I took the same identical shot that showed up on the front page of the newspaper. Maybe that’s why I love photos so much. You can go back and see your life and enjoy the moments you experienced.

God gives us that chance again. He never erases the bad things from our memories, so we remember what the pain we caused, but He allows us to build up our faith through wonderful memories we create as new and saved Christians.
We are so blessed.

For this reason we never become discouraged. Even though our physical being is gradually decaying. Yet our spiritual being is renewed day after day.
2 Corinthians 4:17

Renewal! That is a wonderful word for every Christian. I can continue growing, even when I am weak. And through prayer I can change my world around me to be filled with God’s grace and love for others to share.

Renew my soul, Father,
So I can be a disciple of your Word.
Let me break through the garbage
That I have poured into my soul.
Push it out of me.
Sweep away the cobwebs of deceit and pain.
Please help me fill those empty spaces with
Your Words of encouragement and guidance.
Only God Almighty can fill the void in my life,
And I will continue to reach for that love,
Until I meet Jesus Christ on my last day on this earth.

For we fix our attention not on things that are seen,
but on things that are unseen.
2 Corinthians 4:18
My eyes is on the prize of eternal life
To be spent with You Father.
Not on the things that absorb my life on this earth.
Thank you for showing me that they are nothing
And YOU are everything.

And this small and temporary trouble we suffer will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble.
2 Corinthians 4:17

I have had pain in this world, but not so much that I couldn’t bare it.
And I have had heart ship, but You were always there for me to be comforted.

We search for someone to love us our whole lives from the time we are at our mothers breast until we die, and GOD is always there waiting for us.
That is why we are so blessed.

Margaret

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Margaret S. (morgan2010)

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The Eclectic Pen - Letter to Arleen

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