Tina B. - 6/15/2012 1:28 AM ET
I still find a stray orange tabby hair in the closets. *sniff*
I vacuumed today. Such a small thing, so ordinary, to send me into tears. But today, my vacuum was an eraser, Each pass suctioning up tiny floats of fur, Whispers that he had been here, that he was mine. By the food bowls in the kitchen, behind the chairs, under the table, in the corners. Fluff balls floating like tiny ghosts, hints of what was and will never be again. Dancing bits of gray lion, as gentle as his soul. Outside there broods a dark, broken gash in the flower bed, The earth bald, blank, unflinchingly plain. Too soon to be hidden beneath forgiving flowers. My heart too raw with dear loss for comfort. So I vacuumed today, and I cried for a life I loved that was too brief, For an end that was too painful for any words. The hum of the motor a dirge. Down the halls, in the bedrooms, under the beds, Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. I paused at the linen closet, that dark cat cave of mysteries. His refuge in old age and beloved nest. I know that in its depths there lie tufts of him, Remnants of his most sacred naps. I am not ready to erase that yet. -written for Elmer: feline couch cushion, Uncle to the orphaned, guardian of the water bowls and Cat of all cats, passed over to Heaven on 5/17/2012 and much missed by the pride he left behind. |
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