I Only Say This Because I Love You: How The Way We Talk Can Make Or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives
I Only Say This Because I Love You How The Way We Talk Can Make Or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic -- even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yiel... more »d a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages -- unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen explores what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening audiobook explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers -- and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters, why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives. BY helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.« less
Somewhat 'dry' and technical, but I learned a lot about the different ways of oral communication...and how we can apply it to our everyday interactions.
I wish the author would have footnoted her references, although this may have been the case, but since it was an audiobook, she may have felt compelled to tell us exactly who and where certain studies were done in the examples she quotes. Really annoying to listen to. I often just wanted her to get to the point. I'm not really going to retain these facts while listening to them as I'm driving down the street (where I generally listen to audiobooks).