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Search - Love for All Seasons : A Simple Handbook to Enhance Marital Relationships

Love for All Seasons A Simple Handbook to Enhance Marital Relationships
Author: Patrick J. Aspell, Dee Dee Aspell

“Love for All Seasons” WHO Who are we? Both authors have degrees in Psychology. Both personally use the Enneagram to understand themselves and their marital relationship. They found it very helpful in understanding their differences and how these differences impact their marriage. Because of their many differences, the authors realized... more » that love alone was not enough to make their marriage succeed. They also used it in their couple counseling, and clients were amazed at how much it told them about themselves. WHAT What’s the book about? If you are asked for identification, you can quickly and easily show your I.D., or driver’s license, or Social Security Card, or a Credit Card. When you introduce yourself, you give your name and probably your profession or occupation. Suppose you are asked, “Who are you really?” You may be hard put to respond when you are invited to identify your innermost self. The same question of identification could be put to other people. It is obvious that couples share similarities and differences regarding race, color, height, weight, speech and so on. The ways they are alike help them get along together, unless, of course, they are bored with sameness. Their differences are another matter. Couples have different gifts. Some are blessed with assertiveness or caring, while others are gifted with knowledge or optimism. Some differ in wants, purposes, needs and values. Others differ in beliefs, thoughts and perceptions. Still others differ in the way they feel and behave. These differences can be a source of enrichment or conflict. Depending on whether couples perceive each other’s differences as wrong, stupid, or sick, they may attempt the frustrating project of trying to remake one another in each other’s image. The Pygmalion project is fraught with conflict as each person resists letting his/her uniqueness be distorted. What couples see as differences in each other are in reality what makes them each unique, distinctive like each individual snowflake with its own particular design. As the saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life.” The variations and differences in couples can make life exciting and enriching when they see them as contributing in a unique way to their relationship. The Enneagram system offers a framework in which to appreciate the differences among couples. To understand the uniqueness of other people, you need first of all to appreciate your own individuality. With an accurate picture of who you are, you are in a position to precisely understand other people. For that reason, you are invited to take The Enneagram Inventory® in order to discover your own personality type. The Enneagram Inventory® was designed by Dee Dee and Patrick Aspell to facilitate determining your personality type and interpersonal style within the Enneagram system. The Enneagram Inventory®: (1) Is quick to self-administer; (2) Is self-scoring; (3) Provides a graph to profile the results; (4) Contains an explanation of the scores; (5) Describes clearly and briefly the nine personality types. In addition the book describes nine relationship and marital styles; includes questions and suggestions for reflecting on the results; is non-judgmental in respecting the value of all types; is based on a unique, meaningful theory of personality; and concisely describes directions of growth and the use of “arrows” and “wings,” and reflections for personal and interpersonal empowerment. For couples interested in a deeper and more extensive understanding of their relationship, they are invited to see our book entitled, The Art of Relating. This book describes your relationship in terms of personality, work, control, focus, thinking, feelings, beliefs and principles, rapport, development, decline, communications, conflict management, co-dependency, irritations, problem solving, time, essential self, and empowerment. WHY The authors wrote this short workbook (54 pages) to help people make their marriage work. They figured that if they could make it work, despite all their differences: personalities, age, culture, north and south, and religious background, others could succeed. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover how much one Inventory reveals about the chiaroscuro of your personality, its strengths and shadows. You are invited to use the Inventory to appreciate who you are, how you process your experiences, and why you act the way you do. Most of all, you are invited to acknowledge and accept the rich diversity among personalities, especially your own. IN A NUTSHELL: “Love For All Seasons” An instantly usable package to build better relationships in 5 stages: (1) Understanding yourself and your partner--a self-administering, self-scoring 72-item inventory to discover your individual personality type; a 2-page description of 9 personality types; 2-page description of 9 relationship styles; 7-page description of the strengths and limitations of marital behaviors of the 9 types; (2) Commitment to the goals of the relationship--9 relationship focuses; (3) Effectively relating to others--the Golden Rule of relationships; 4-page description of directions for relating effectively to others; what each of the 9 types appreciates and dislikes; building rapport by matching behaviors & words; 2-page description of 9 ways of communicating and managing conflict; (4) Growth in your personality and relationship--the arrow and wings of development; 5 ways to improve each of the 9 relationship styles; (5) Taking action to follow through on relationship building. Also includes explanations, sheets for portraits of self & partner, and 12 diagrams of 3 centers of personalities, relationship focus and orientations, likes & dislikes, communication & conflict management, line of growth and decline, arrows & wings of development. In addition, there are exercises for personal reflection, journaling, & sharing of insights. 54 pages each. 2 Copies per set. 8.5 x 11.

ISBN-13: 9781881773023
ISBN-10: 1881773027
Publication Date: 7/12/2000
Pages: 104
Rating:

0 stars, based on 0 rating

Publisher: Lifewings, Ltd.
Book Type: Spiral-bound
Members Wishing: 1
Reviews: Amazon | Write a Review

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Search - Love for All Seasons : A Simple Handbook to Enhance Marital Relationships

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