Silvercat - - 7/31/2007 4:11 PM ET
Amazing writing, Dezi...such a depth of feeling expressed so well.
I acquired intonations of your Bleeding Heart in places that could not conceal a flea. Intonations subtly hued with pinks and purples, a cool version of desert sunbath. Like the flip of a switch, every toss and turn of my heart reminds me of you. I try to ride out this mellow form of love; but you and my heart will not allow me to forget the intensity of your mighty reign. Extraordinary beauty, a very serious face, a sudden relentless gesture, the depths of those reluctant eyes. Features, equally riveting and fiery, threaten to overwhelm me, pull me out from the safety of my despair. My mind stages clips of you, playing yourself in front of me. Do you remember the quaint love shack on the beautiful, untamed coastline? Watching the dolphins swim round and round in the ships’ nets as they were strangled? No desire to help. We share a hippie love with a thirst-- eating instead. The lights were strewn among the heavens, painting a view so extravagant. They blazed like lanterns Underneath raised eyebrows, the glow reflected in eyes that offered nothing more. My expression moved your heart, you said. Later, I found your words curling around the strap of my portfolio and spilling into one of your notebooks. You wrote: “You placed little stones stored with flammable liquid in one of the chambers of my heart and ignited the flame underneath them. I exploded. Like a phoenix, wings spread wide, opened as if to fly out of the window and into the night. Don’t you know that it is utterly hopeless to love a writer completely devoted to her craft.” I saw no more of you. I think of you often. Your face leaps forth into my heart, cleaving a blazing trail across my soul, shredding my heart with the pain of a thousand brutal, relentless beasts. You are in the Bronx telephone book on my coffee table. Contained in the skinny box under my rumpled bed. You are the linking verbs in my copy of Keats. We are the pair of matching feline statues on either side of the fireplace. |
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