I'm glad your appt. went well. Tomato soup is always good on a cold day. I like grilled cheese sandwich with mine.

Margaret, I didn't mean to be so brief answering your message. I got a phone call and had to stop writing to answer the call.

My car is in the shop once again. The engine light came on again so if it's the same issue as a couple weeks ago, they'll just go ahead and replace the throttle body. At least I know that's covered under the warranty.

Big detriment to mental health: worrying about money... I was counting on getting Social Security next month, but it still says "processing."

it says they started processing on January 23 and it would take 30 days. But it has obviously taken longer than 30 days!

and I'm usually at work during their open times. 
 

The website is frustrating because it says you can do anything you need to do online, except not make an appointment. For that you have to call. I tried calling today and after struggling through a menu that said I really should try the web first, and that it only takes 30 days to process an application, I have to say the word "agent" to make an appointment, but then it insisted on having my SSN, and only after that I was told the wait time was 120 minutes. I gave up. I'll go in person, where they will say I need an appointment, but hopefully they will let me make an appointment there.

I'm sorry it's being such a process to get your social security. I did mine by phone and it only took 2 weeks to get my first check. But I was getting Bob's SS instead of my own since his was higher amount, so that might have been why it was quicker. But getting it and my medicare so quickly was a huge help to me right after Bob died as I had no income at all and was still waiting on the life insurance to come. The SS and medicare came thru faster than the insurance did, although I did have the insurance by week 3.

The car issue was just a malfuctioning sensor light that Kia is aware of. Told to just cut it off and if it happened again, unless the car is acting differently than normal, to just ignor. No charge for turning it off.

For some reason my weight is climbing. I can only assume it's because I'm not moving around as much because of my knee. But I'm back up to 244.4. I've either got to start moving more or eating even less because I'm not burning off calories. I'm up 6.2 lbs. since the 1st of the month and at the highest for the year right now. Not a happy camper.

This morning starts a new routine to get my numbers back down in the right dirction. I haven't been this heavy since last August and I'm not going to let it climb any higher if I can help it. Anything high in sodium is gone, and I'll be eating just as lightly as I can from here on out. High sodium foods are just not my friends.

I feel more in control. I still have a difficult anniversary coming up in April.but I feel like I can get through it without losing control. I'm done with doctor visits for a few months so I don't feel pressured to be terribly strict. For example, this is maple syrup season so I intend to have at least one pancake breakfast with fresh maple syrup.  I'm overall making better choices because now I care.  I threw out a jug of Lactaid chocolate milk because its so sweet I didn't feel good after I drank some. I had forgotten how sweet is it so I decided not to drink it.

I don't blame you Teri. Next month would have been mine and Bob's 29th anniversary. He's been gone 4 years. Hard to wrap my head around that. Four years already.

I think I'm going to stay off the scale for awhile again. It sure doesn't make a difference with me weighing daily just to watch the numbers climb more and more. That just stresses me out more. So for awhile I'm going to take that stressor off of me and just concentrate on eating healthier, and being more aware of what I'm eating, and how much. A couple more things went into the trash a little while ago, and a couple more things will be going later on today when I get up. About to go to bed. 

I don't know why I let myself get so focused on the numbers on the scale. With my diet history and past eating disorder I honestly need to stay away from the scale. At my age, falling back into old habits for the sake of trying to get the numbers down, is stupid, and downright dangerous. Very unhealthy for me. So I'm going to focus on trying to eat healthier,  and not worry about the number on the scale. It I eat healthier and less, my body should naturally drop some weight. But all my adult life, I've had to pretty much starve myself to be at a normal  weight, according to the charts. I seriously doubt I'll ever be thin again. Last time I was at a really healthy weight was in 2005, when I was 140 lbs. Now I'm 104.4 lbs heavier. It's taken me 6 years to get down from my highest weight of 274 lbs. SIX YEARS to lose 30 lbs. Just to get down to 198 lbs could take another 6-7 years, if not longer. And watching that stupid scale doesn't make it any easier. So for the time being I'm going to stay off of it. Not sure for how long, but I know at least not for awhile. Just focus on making better food choices getting in what extra movement I can. I don't want to be on any more diets! I just want to be a healthier me, both in body and in spirit. So the new way starts today. Wish me luck.

I can't believe its been 4 years, Vicki! Wow!

I feel much less pressured now that I don't have any doctor visits coming up. I have been wearing my larger pants for comfort, just until I get at least 5 pounds off. Glad I kept a few pair!  I also feel less pressured because my weight gain apparently did not affect my kidney function. But if I were to continue gaining weight, my kidneys would be affected. It also helps that my blood pressure has normalized. 

So April is a tough month for both of us.  May is coming and the sunshine with it.(although I've got ice and 30 degrees this morning!)

It's weird; even with the weight gain over the last 4 years, my clothing size hasn't changed except for some tops, that are now too small in the bust area. But all my pants still fit, so the 32 lbs larger I am now than I was a month after Bob passed ( I had dropped down to 212 lbs.) hasn't made a difference. Maybe because most of my pants have an elastic waisteline. When I lose weight, the 1st thing that goes is my bust. Everything else takes much longer. Since Bob passed I had gotten up to 257 lbs. for a short while, so it has gradually been coming back down, until the last month. Suddenly I'm back up 8 lbs., and higher than I've been since last August. And that gets so frustrating to see. But I can't blame anyone but myself for it. I'm the one that buys and eats the food. Noone is force feeding me.

So it's time I focus on the nutritional part and get that back under control. So I'm just taking a break from the scale. I took the batteries out of the scale and have it in a closet I rarely go into so it's not staring me in the face every time I open the closet door like it would be doing had I left it in the bathroom closet. I put it in with my cool weather jackets. And since the weather is now in the 80's here, I won't need to open that door for a good while.

 What food I have left in the apt. I can easily eat single serve portions of. And except for 100 calories bags of popcorn, I have no snacks in the apt. So maybe now I can get back on track with my eating. My knee seems to be doing better too so I'll be trying to walk more. I'll get the knee brace the 9th and then I should be less likely to fall due to knee buckling. Of course I'm still walking with the cane to make sure I have the added support.

Hope you , Margaret, and Heather have a good weekend.

MARCH CHAT IS CLOSED!