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The Eclectic Pen - Men and Books

By: Doaty S. (doatylucky)   + 5 more  
Date Submitted: 8/2/2009
Last Updated: 8/22/2009
Genre: Health, Fitness & Dieting
Words: 445

  I've decided that PBS is like a dating website for books. You can sit on your butt at home to pick and choose your next love, then throw it back to somebody else if it doesn't work out for you or if you're tired of it.

I love books and reading. I read essays, short stories, magazines, flyers handed to me by greasy people in the street, coupon sections of the newspaper, Journal of American Medicine, textbooks, mystery's, cook books about things I'll never cook, and just about anything else I can get my hands on that someone else isn't holding to tightly too.

What's more exciting is a book that isn't yours with an inscription in it. Who are these people? Why did they think an inscription was important? If it's a male to a male, their gay or it's old. Like back during a war when men made life-long friendships over rubble, mortar shells in the background, open-aired fires, and hooch. Now the people at war can hook a TV up anywhere and they don't have to read, they can watch their own war and themselves on TV. Hi Mom!

If it's a textbook from a female to a male, forget it Mom, he sold it for beer money. If it's a textbook from a male to a female, she kept it exactly three years or after her first baby. Either way dad, she sold it for beer money.

I get on the Internet and look through books like I'm picking my next husband. I plan on marrying until I get it right, so I'm not so choosy about my books. I'll order anything. If I was on a dating site, I'd go out with the dude named Hank that had no teeth and named his dog Come Here. He'd drive a truck for a living and drink a 12-pack every night. I'd also go out with the man who went to the opera every Wednesday night and didn't have to work for a living but just for kicks ran a philanthropic endowment for starving children in Ethiopia.

I've ordered Adolf Hitler's life story, The Noble Qur'an, and Alice in Wonderland in the same order. I'll marry them all, I mean I'll read them all. You see what I mean, it gets so confusing if you're not careful.

All I can say is, life is fun, life is good. Read as many men as you can and do as many books as you can and you should die without any regrets. Good luck to you all.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Doaty S. (doatylucky)

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Comments 1 to 6 of 6
hingram77 - 8/2/2009 9:10 PM ET
LOL That's too funny. I enjoyed it. You make a fun point. To some extent, I'll 'play' the same way. Rock on girl.
Marta J. (booksnob) - 8/4/2009 3:06 PM ET
And books can't give you STD's either. You can be as hoochy as you choose.
Jennifer T. - 8/5/2009 10:48 AM ET
I enjoyed that, excellent.
Linda K. (Silver-Night) - 8/10/2009 8:08 PM ET
I had to say it but that made a lot of sense. Is that good or bad? I love men-- BOOKS.
Doaty S. (doatylucky) - 8/22/2009 7:20 PM ET
I'm glad you liked my essay. I like them short and sweet. Something to laugh and think about, but just for a bit and then move on. I loved your comments, thanks!
Laura B. (Lbrownblack) - - 10/10/2009 2:01 PM ET
Of my same mind, broad! but,not just a broad, one, with intellect, intrigue and wonder! Keep writing - I'll let you read mine, if you let me read yours!!!!! thanks for the laugh and the opportunity to metaphor....!
Comments 1 to 6 of 6