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The Eclectic Pen - My mind echoes like a canyon

By: Sara C. (mustangirl)  
Date Submitted: 9/8/2010
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 424
Rating:

My mind echoes like a canyon I have been thrown off this cliff I must catch myself before the bottom God has caught me I hang on precariously Sometimes I want to let go I manage to hold on God has hold of me You gave me strength I did not have to survive alone Your face brightened up my day I did not see it coming I could not see it coming You only gave one hint God told me to run I did not listen You left me gasping for air I was caught in a panic attack My mind had trouble processing God lifted me into His arms I was in a daze I saw but did not see Panic attacks would seize me Tears would burst forth at random Eyes widen in shock I cover my mouth to stop the screams Whimpers would escape nonetheless God clutched me to His chest I felt naked and exposed My mind raced for a distraction The knife popped into view I grabbed my Bible Physical violence felt inevitable Screaming felt like the only solution I texted friends and family God answered my calls I woke up and the sun was shining I had strength to start the day I was optimistic God gave me a light I sat in class My thoughts turned back to you I was gripped with a panic attack I looked anywhere to stop it People I saw Places I went My thoughts turned back to you God held my hand I yearned to see you Even for the briefest second Your face not what I remembered Disappointment turned into panic I looked to friends for help Their words did not register I could only watch you in fascination It did not yet feel real Sitting all by yourself I wanted to join you I missed your voice I missed your laugh You left in a rush My mind left to pick up the pieces Panic still lurks but less often God has begun the healing process I look everywhere for you I ask friends about you Your face is serious and sad I am at a loss Your mind is no longer accessible I don’t know how you are doing I worry but I want My heart aches with this loss I want to go to your room Fall to my knees Ask you to come back Make me whole again I only recall that look on your face You feel pity but no remorse You are fine and have moved on I am unable to do so I need you I need closure Night falls Panic returns My fear is back I went to you for safety That bridge has fallen God builds a new one I want the best for you I want you back Memories of stress flood back The image of you is tainted I see you walking around You should be walking with me The person I see is a stranger I want to scream at him You move on I can only try The want controls me God controls the want

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Sara C. (mustangirl)

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