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The Eclectic Pen - NanoFiction #6

By: Paul H. (nessus19) - ,   + 43 more  
Date Submitted: 2/26/2007
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Short Stories & Anthologies
Words: 141

  You have to understand, he tells her – while wearing that smile she hates so much…the one with no strings behind it, no artifice, just facial muscles coming to a mutually agreeable understanding – that the days I spent searching for your god in travel-worn liturgy and stained glass piety are gone. No more call-and-response. No more catch without release. So long, up there, and good luck with that smiting-of-the-wicked-thing. Really.
Now she’s become terribly upset with him; her velvet plans and finely manicured theology no longer enough to bind him…like Isaac.
He doesn’t mean to hurt her, he says – and now there’s nothing left, not even the smile. Just a door closing down the hall where her cross hangs…dusty and baroque around the edges.
A window is opening for him.
And she wants nothing more than to cast a stone through it.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Paul H. (nessus19) - ,

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Comments 1 to 6 of 6
IONE L. (zaneygraylady) - 2/27/2007 7:46 AM ET
I love this
Jessi H. (willpowered) - 2/27/2007 7:52 AM ET
Hello, clever Paul. Of course, YOU know that it is entirely unnecessary for her to understand. But what I don't understand at all is the "catch and release" line. Otherwise, all nicely linked, leaving tempting stray threads for us to tug at. I especially enjoy the "dusty and baroque" line. Ouch. Very dry taste in humor there. Just my flavor. Thanks.
Marta J. (booksnob) - 2/27/2007 9:56 AM ET
This is fantastic. I really enjoy the acerbic wit running throughout.
Paul H. (nessus19) - , - 2/27/2007 10:12 AM ET
From the author... Jessi H.: Actually the line you refer to is "catch without release." This conveys an entirely different meaning and is, I hope, more congruent with the rest of the story. Thank you for your comments! Paul
Jessica J. (RadioBrainAutoPoesy) - 2/28/2007 7:46 PM ET
you have inspired me with your series of nanofictions, i pulled them up in my lit class and showed people what real writing was, i enjoy them very much. a simple paragraph can pack a big punch!
Jessi H. (willpowered) - 3/6/2007 8:24 AM ET
Thanks for the clarification, Paul. Sometimes, even when I read it twice - as I usually do - I just put in what I am accustomed to reading/hearing. Much better the way you wrote it!
Comments 1 to 6 of 6