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The Eclectic Pen - S.W.O.T.W. Meeting 684

By: Justina C. (stinasstoryspot)   + 13 more  
Date Submitted: 11/19/2008
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Short Stories & Anthologies
Words: 959

  Ok, ladies, letís call this meeting to order.

Can everyone hear me?

It looks like the Russian technical difficulties are all cleared up and the Canadians lent us a French translator. France, can you hear me?

Good. Letís get the ball rolling.


Attendance is being done electronically this time around. We decided to see if we could save some trees. There are volunteers who can help you sign in as you leave. Please be patient, this system is new. If you have brought any signed excuse notes for anyone, leave them with the volunteers when you sign in.

The Engagement/Good-bye parties for everyone who this is their last meeting will be held downstairs right after the meeting as usual. Weíre combining it with the welcome/birthday party for all of the new members. Please welcome the teenage girls that are around you. Iím sure you can remember how nerve wracking that first meeting can be. There is a list of both incoming and outgoing members in your packets.

Do we have a motion to vote in the new members and vote out the members who are moving on? Thank you, France. A second? Thank you Norway. And a third? Thank you, Argentina. All in favor? Motion passed.

Iíd like to say happy birthday to everyone whoís had a birthday since our last meeting. You can pick up your gifts at the engagement/goodbye party.

Iíd like to say a special thank you to the women of Nevada for bringing the refreshments tonight. Alberta, youíre signed up for the next meeting, donít forget.

Ok. Is there any old business before we start with the new business?
Any new business that doesnít have to do with us changing from Robertís Rules of Order to Robertaís Rules of Order? Iím sorry to Melissa and all the others in the feminist committee, but we voted on this last year and the year before and weíve decided itís easier to just stick with what we have than to try to work up something new.

Ok. Then can I have a motion to close the old business and officially open the new business for Single Women of the World meeting 684? Thank you, Switzerland. Do I have a second? Thank you, Nigeria. And a third? Thank you, Japan. All in favor? Motion is passed.

The first, and amazingly enough, only order of business for this meeting is that there has been a proposal for a vote brought forth by Justina from Michigan, United States. Sheís here to present her proposal and then weíll vote.

* * * * *

Thank you. I propose that all men, once they are married, should become very unattractive. I mean, címon. Thereís nothing worse than walking down the street, seeing a hot guy and then seeing a wedding ring.

Now I donít propose this because Iíve fallen in love with a married man or anything like that. Iím not like that. Itís just thatÖ Itís not fair. You develop a crush on a hot guy in a band or something and then he ends up being married and then what? Youíre just pissed because you have a crush on a married man.

And there are other benefits too. Think about how many divorces there are in Hollywood there are right now. If the men got really ugly when they got married they wouldnít get married and then there wouldnít be any more divorces.

And the divorce rate in other places would probably go down, too, because if men were ugly after they got married, single women would be less likely to sleep with them and then there would be less adultery. Not to say that some girls arenít willing to sleep with the ugly onesÖ but fewer girls are.
The only drawback I can see is that then the men would be ugly to their wives, but Iím sure we can find some way around that. And maybe prostitution would go up because they have to sleep with the ugly guys sometimes anyway.

But, yeah. So, thatís my idea.

* * * * *

Thank you, Justina. Thatís a motion that we vote on this issue at our next meeting. Do I have a second? Thank you, Russia. And a third? Thank you, Great Britain. All in favor? Motion passed. Please make this a topic of discussion at your next country meeting. There will be time for more general discussion then.

Looks like the next meetingís going to be a doozy. Also on the agenda is a proposal that we vote on whether or not women who are in a dating relationship should be allowed at the singles meetings. Yes, theyíre annoyingly happy, making the rest of us feel bad, but do we really want to deal with all the enrolling and disenrolling?

Anyway, weíll talk about it at our next meeting on the 22nd.

I want to thank those who are leading the country meetings. Clearly youíre getting a lot done there so we have less to do here, and can get back home earlier. Keep up the good work.

Do I have a motion to close? Thank you, India. And a second? Thank you, Croatia. And a third, Thank you, Bolivia. All in favor? Okay. Meeting adjourned.

If you have any new business for the next meeting itís due by 4:30 Greenwich Time on the 7th.

Have a good night, ladies.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Justina C. (stinasstoryspot)

Member Comments

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Comments 1 to 2 of 2
Justina C. (stinasstoryspot) - 11/19/2008 6:32 PM ET
We really should have these meetings.
Veronica S. (snowkitty) - , - 11/21/2008 4:00 PM ET
I vote against making them ugly. You can still check them out, married or not.
Comments 1 to 2 of 2