I promise it gets better. You're obviously an intelligent young woman with so much ahead of you. I know this sounds trite, but please, please hang in there. Keep writing and we'll keep reading.
I'd rather have life short and sweet instead of long and miserable like it is now. I feel so old. Have you ever thought that if one more thing goes wrong you'll crumble and fall to the floor in a pile of dust? 18, mind you, not even 18 and already I long for the contentment of death. This hideous joke I call my life is somewhat ludicrous. How I hate to believe that this is me. To pretend it all away is my only means of escape. How can one take flight from the indictment you've had sense birth. If I ran, my mind and body would soon follow. So close would be this tasteless chase. The horror of seeing not even one inch come between me and myself would be to much for me to endure. If just for a moment I could be without being or knowing myself I could learn to except my fate. Will it help if I solicit in front of God for something, anything to change or alter this imperfection I call my life. How can I learn to merge with everyone when I feel so decomposed being who I am. How naked I fell in front of the world of judgment, how minuet I must be in the whole of the Earth. I say this to place fact upon this page. To lie while faced with a wound so rude and rough would be defacing. Nor do I amplify me disillusionment for I am unimportant and to enlarge this into monstrous proportion would be to say I think I'm more important then my essence really is. I must now be beginning to sound adrift, but keep in mind I'm ill prepared for such grievous truths. I fear I am beginning to tremble with the idea that there is no escape and I must admit that this is it! |
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Comments 1 to 10 of 10
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