|We’re late again, as usual. Driving into Fort Worth, Edd and I, it’s early in the morning and we’re hungry. Me driving with my peddle to the metal moving along the highway until we come to Small Town Texas and stop at the Aloha Donut store for the best American made donuts around, cooked by the sweetest little Asian ladies, deep in the Heart of Texas. I always get donut holes and Edd likes cake, but whatever you get, they are delicious.
Back in the car turning back onto the highway we are about to leave Small Town Texas as we pass a Sheriffs car parked on the opposite side of the road. I check my speed, but think nothing of my accelerating speed as I’m leaving Small Town Texas.
I’m driving and as I gaze into my rear view mirror, I began to worry as I see flashing lights fast approaching. Great! I’m going to get a ticket. I immediately pull over and wait. Approaching the passenger side of the car is an average looking lady dressed in the brown sheriff’s uniform. Edd rolls down the window. She leans in and says in the deepest meanest Russian accent I’ve ever heard in Small Town Texas… “You know you going 56 in a 45 zone?” I said “We couldn’t have, we just left the donut store.” She said “Vhat donut store?” Edd and I look at each other, and then back at her…something’s just not right with a police officer who doesn’t know the whereabouts of donut stores. So I said very kindly “The one you were parked across from.”
She asked for my license and insurance. Edd asked to see the radar. She just glared and walked back to her vehicle. GREAT! Not only are we running late, I’m going to get a ticket. We sit there for the longest time. I keep rehashing my departure from the donut store parking lot… ‘Was I speeding?’ ‘I wasn’t going that fast.’ ‘Maybe more than 45, but not 56…that’s for sure!’
Finally, she’s walking back with her notebook in hand…great… I’m going to get a ticket. She leans in and says “I give you warning this time!” Relief floods through the car, and then Edd says “You really should try those donuts, they’re really good.” And she, bless her heart, responds in her best KGB voice I’ve ever heard in Small Town Texas “I don’ eat donuts!” Edd and I look at each other again… together we say “Thank you” and very carefully drive away from Small Town Texas.
What a morning we had! True story…I promise.