| My step daughter is almost 22 and has an almost 2 year old of her own that I guess is my grandson when it is conveinient to all parties involved. Even now that she is a mother I never see the smile on her face that welcomes the suggestion for a "real" conversation or to jump to offer help. I wonder when this crazy ride will end or come to an understanding or conclusion. Almost nine years of giving, hearing lies and watching the manipualtion. I gave up my life of take-out, evenings on the couch and having money for concerts, clothes and dry cleaners to become a maid? An unpaid cook, a personal shopper and transportation specialist? I finally got to have a child of my own and realized that when my daughter acts like me she annoys me sometimes. I then came to the conclusion that I do not like her when she is not around her father, she acts just like her mother.
I now wonder if I have tried hard enough if maybe things would be different. I wonder when this power struggle will ever end...recently I told myself that if my own father got married or got a girlfriend I will do everything possible to act completely not like my step daughter. My father was married nine times so I experienced a couple more step mothers than all my friends combined. There were a couple blondes, 3 brunettes and a part time red head. A hippy, a WASP, a stay at home thrift store obsessed mental case, a drunk, one I never met and a couple workaholics...and there was one that was completely normal than ran like hell when she found out about all the rest. I have made every effort to accomadate, consider how I felt when I was in my step daughters position and even from seeing from both sides I have failed.
I now wonder if it is just me or does everyone have crazy mothers of thier step children that held no regard for my life that was given up to pick up her pieces? She was already on her second marriage when I was in pre-school but I am ok to have all the resentment, disapointment, anger directed at me through small little jabs of disrespect and forgetfullness. I am sure that manners were not taught to her, etiquette, and giving for the sake of giving was not ever brushed upon as a priority. I am at a loss for words most of the time for I am not a person but a machine that has processed this "process" for far too long without validation. It almost as if I am swallowing a pill with every conversation or issue rather than taking a pill to remedy the feeling that come from each "episode" with no explanation or closure on anything but just a shitty taste in your mouth almost every time.
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Comments 1 to 4 of 4