Jennifer M. (Kaydence) reviewed Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy on + 380 more book reviews
Summary:
Several characteristics of bully and bullied behavior are explored along with techniques used to attempt to solve them. There is talk about aggression, depression, standing up for oneself, problem solving, mediation, and parental involvement. In a journalistic style, she defines bullying and talks about schools that have made great strides in this area.
My thoughts:
I went through training to be certified in anti-bullying techniques and then another training to be certified in character education. Both of those trainings talked about a lot of the same things that Bazelon discusses in this book. The teacher needs to build a relationship with the parent to help acknowledge the bullying and curb behaviors. The teacher needs to provide student mediation areas in which the two can talk about what is really going on. The teacher works with the bullied student to analyze the problem and attempt to see it in a different light. When this happens, then a solution an be found that will help the bullied child feel better.
Honestly, this is an extremely complex problem that is not solved by any of the above mentioned areas. What bullied child wants to face their attacker and talk it through? Doesn't that just prevent the bullied child from admitting there is a problem going on because they don't want to be put into an even more uncomfortable position? By attempting to problem solve with the child, aren't we giving the bully more power and justification for their actions? Finally, no matter how good of a relationship I build with a parent, if they are working several jobs and can't be home until late (which is the case for several of the parents I work with), then they can't do anything differently. It's not that they don't want to. It's not that they don't try to curb behaviors. It's just a problem that is too big to solve with a few parental interventions.
This book is good for bring a difficult subject to a best selling marketplace. Bazelon's style is very easy to read and she does not get bogged down with education-speak. The accessibility of this book to a larger audience is awesome. The problem is that this is not new. The aspects discussed in the book are not new, and not everything works as well as Bazelon makes it seem. Bullying is a complex issue that isn't going to just disappear over time.
Several characteristics of bully and bullied behavior are explored along with techniques used to attempt to solve them. There is talk about aggression, depression, standing up for oneself, problem solving, mediation, and parental involvement. In a journalistic style, she defines bullying and talks about schools that have made great strides in this area.
My thoughts:
I went through training to be certified in anti-bullying techniques and then another training to be certified in character education. Both of those trainings talked about a lot of the same things that Bazelon discusses in this book. The teacher needs to build a relationship with the parent to help acknowledge the bullying and curb behaviors. The teacher needs to provide student mediation areas in which the two can talk about what is really going on. The teacher works with the bullied student to analyze the problem and attempt to see it in a different light. When this happens, then a solution an be found that will help the bullied child feel better.
Honestly, this is an extremely complex problem that is not solved by any of the above mentioned areas. What bullied child wants to face their attacker and talk it through? Doesn't that just prevent the bullied child from admitting there is a problem going on because they don't want to be put into an even more uncomfortable position? By attempting to problem solve with the child, aren't we giving the bully more power and justification for their actions? Finally, no matter how good of a relationship I build with a parent, if they are working several jobs and can't be home until late (which is the case for several of the parents I work with), then they can't do anything differently. It's not that they don't want to. It's not that they don't try to curb behaviors. It's just a problem that is too big to solve with a few parental interventions.
This book is good for bring a difficult subject to a best selling marketplace. Bazelon's style is very easy to read and she does not get bogged down with education-speak. The accessibility of this book to a larger audience is awesome. The problem is that this is not new. The aspects discussed in the book are not new, and not everything works as well as Bazelon makes it seem. Bullying is a complex issue that isn't going to just disappear over time.
