Tequila Christmas Cake     (A Traditional Holiday Favorite)
 
 
 
Ingredients: 
 
 1 stick butter
 1 cup of water
 1 tsp baking soda
 1 cup of sugar
 1 tsp salt
 1 cup of brown sugar
 Lemon juice
 4 large eggs
 Nuts
 1 bottle tequila
 2 cups of dried fruit
 
 Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila
 again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
 drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a
 large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
 it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... just in
 case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and
 chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
 
 Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried
 druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
 Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
 
 Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
 nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
 find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
 over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through
 the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
 
 BINGLE JELLS!