Jesse (EddyKrueger) - 11/14/2009 2:56 AM ET
All Troy wanted was to make love to his new wife. Now a piece of his ass is missing and he's infected with zombie germs! Poor guy. I lovin this story.
|While Bart was in the midst of “pulling himself back together”, all over the world, people were going about their business. The word had not yet spread that there was a zombie problem going on. For instance, next door, Trina and Roy were doing what horny newlyweds do best. Trina thought this could possibly be the best sex her and Roy had ever had. And she didn’t know it yet, but it would be the last sex she would ever have. All the sweating and bouncing, and the moaning… The moaning was the best part. Roy was going to town and the noises coming from both of them seemed inhuman if you know what I mean. In their rush to get down to business, Roy had thought that he closed the front door all the way, but he was wrong. As men sometimes tend to be.
As the newlyweds were having their fun, Bart was wondering around on their front lawn. As a newly born zombie, he was trying to get the hang of this eating flesh thing and kept on bumping into lawn furniture, flagpoles and even the old Toyota 4Runner that was sitting un repaired in the middle of the yard. Roy had always intended to fix it and get it back on the road, but there just never seemed enough time left at the end of the day to work on it.
As Bart was trying to find his way around, another zombie stumbled past him and into the home of Trina and Roy. He heard all the noise going on and automatically heading down the hall in the direction of the bedroom. He stopped at the doorway to the bedroom and his first thought was, “Two for one deal, not bad.” He stayed at the doorway, staggering slightly watching Roy’s bare ass bouncing up and down. A small flashback entered his mind of a nice rump roast dinner his wife had once prepared for him.
As soon as the memory was gone, the zombie advanced on the newlyweds thinking about nothing but fresh flesh now. And it was a nice touch that it was already unwrapped for him. Trina and Roy were so involved in their own ecstasy, that they were unaware that there was another being in the room with them. As they moaned, so did the zombie. Trina thought it was Roy doing the moaning, and Roy was just thinking, “Man I must be good if she is letting out these low guttural moans”. Yet another instance of a man being wrong.
The zombie was slow to the bed, but as soon as he got within a couple feet of the bed, he jumped on top of Roy and sank his teeth right into his rear. Trina still had no idea of what was going on and had just thought that Roy was in the finishing stretch since he shoved hard into Trina when the zombie bit his ass. Then a moment later, both Roy and Trina started to scream. Roy managed to get himself turned around and started to fight the zombie off. Trina just kept on screaming while trying to cover herself up with the bed sheet.
Finally, Trina snapped out of it and jumped up on the bed and shouted “Jesus Christ Roy, what the hell is that thing. What the f*ck is going on?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I decided to bat for the other team, what the hell do you think I’m doing?” Roy shot back at her as he landed a punch to the zombie’s neck.
“Get off the frigin’ bed and help me get rid of it!”
Trina leaped off the bed and grabbed the baseball bat conveniently standing in the corner. There had been a number of break-ins reported in the neighborhood and since neither one of them owned a gun; the bat was their best weapon. Roy liked to keep it next to the bed in case someone tried to break in while they slept. Now he wished that he would have broke down and spent some of their money on buying a gun for protection instead.
Trina was not your average girly girl; she was actually good at sports. In some cases, she was an even better athlete than some of Roy’s friends. She had grown up a tomboy only later on to mature into your average every day girl-next-door slut. She wound the bat up with all her might and landed a hard blow right to the zombie’s head. The zombie collapsed in a pile on the floor and Roy grabbed Trina by the hand leading her out of the bedroom. They made it as far as the end of the hallway and stood in shock. There were dozens of zombies roaming around their living room.
To be continued…
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