| There is a house in Carolina that holds a wooden frame. From the outside, the
home seems sturdy enough. Yet Iím not convinced that it will hold under the burden of
my very presence. I had the pleasure of gazing upon it myself once. Nothing too fancy.
You might say that it is down right ordinary. A Wood frame with satin black paint
covering the seams. The fact is I promised Iíd see it in person, and a promise made is
always a promise kept. Donít get me wrong, there were moments that I felt the three
hundred and fifty mile journey was well worth the trouble. After all, this visit was made
to ensure our love was real. At my arrival, I was greeted like a member of the royal
family. I was lavished with attention that swept feelings through me of years gone by. It
cast my memory back to a time when I could easily remember every birthday that had
passed. She had a love for me that could not easily be contained or easily denied for that
matter. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch..
The moment we said our hellos I was ushered into an automobile with praises of
glory. When we reached the house in Carolina I could feel my heart sink as if I was man
in the ocean in search of a life preserver. Again I was quickly ushered into the modest
abode with no time to admire the scenery around me. After all, the frame awaited me. I
could feel the tension surround me as her loving eyes sucked me in. I was led into the
main room of the house that held the coveted memento. I stood quietly in front of it
while the woman behind me recounted the story behind the care that was taken to place
the frame in just the right space. I must admit now to you that the very sight of the frame
sickened me to no end. I let my eyes stray from it almost immediately. I felt her arms
slide around my chest like a hand embracing the inside of a glove.
As I turned, her face shined with so much warmth that I had to wince like a child
looking too long into the sun. Her eyes became an open window to me. The
impossibility of her hiding any intent other than love washed over me like cold wind.
She kissed me softly, only releasing my embrace long enough to inhale small breaths to
resume her pleasure. Without notice she stopped and withdrew her affection. She looked
down and returned her gaze hoping to snare my eyes with hers. She spoke of undying
love, and devotion that could never be measured. The words bruised my soul like a
plunge into icy waters. I pressed her close to me bringing her lips against mine. If only
for an instant, just enough to drown her speech from my very ears. How long were we
joined in passion? I could not gauge. Something inside me guessed Iíd have drawn the
moment out for an eternity to keep those precious words from crossing her lips once
more. When the time felt right to retreat from her grasp, I witnessed her back away from
me with her eyes firmly closed. My feeble attempt to quiet the emotions that
surrounded us only ignited a flame inside her that could not be dampened.
I guided my choices carefully as not to be consumed by her euphoric state. It was
a time for us to be together, together as one. Thoughts raced in my mind as her voice
battled into my conscience like a radio that wasnít quite tuned onto the right frequency. I
made out phrases like heartbeats and closeness and forever. Maybe I did hear her
completely, or maybe I fought against it, my will clashing with hers. Two forces of
nature was at work here. A raging fire during a thunderous rainstorm, only one would
prevail. But like all things that are weaker than they appear, the fire that rose inside me
was quickly turned to embers.
On that day, she was never consoled by my understanding arms. Her tears were
never wiped away by my thoughtful hands. She continued on in her state of ignorant
bliss. The time passed slowly for me as a child waiting to open gifts. But it did pass.
When our moment came to an end she remarked of the time flying with the speed of
eagles soaring. In short she spoke of true love. If you were to ask me what a woman
wants I can honestly say I still donít know. Maybe I never will. In the truer sense,
maybe a woman wants what a man can never provide. As I headed for the door I passed
the black wooden frame that she placed with such gentle care. I forced my head to the
center of it. I could feel the muscles in my neck tighten under the strain. The sickness
returned without warning. I stared into the eyes of the coward that faced me with a sly
expression. An urge to rip the frame containing my picture to floor bubbled up inside but
I fought it off. ďyouíll be hanging for at least another day.Ē I mocked at the pictured
image of myself that merely smiled back to me. With that said I turned and walked back
to her to resume my charade.