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Book Review of Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond

Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond
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A candid, often startling memoir of the author's life as a Mormon wife. Though Laake is now a professional journalist, she was raised in a Mormon family and sent to Brigham Young University with one paramount aim: to find and marry ``a faithful Mormon man.'' Without such a marriage, plus the guidance that only a devout husband could provide, she would ``be denied access to the highest level of Mormon heaven''--just one of the many unusual aspects of the emphatically patriarchal religion that Laake reveals here. Moreover, the author intended to wed not any man but ``the One''- -the marriage partner predestined by God--and when she began to doubt that one narrow-minded but extraordinarily persistent suitor, Monty Brown, was the One, Monty and Laake's own brother rushed to her side to exorcise ``the devil'' that had invaded her soul. Laake married Monty in an arcane ceremony whose esoteric details are zestfully described here; pledged to wear ``garments'' (a kind of sanctified nightgown) for the rest of her life; and began what most Americans would consider a bizarre life that included the recycling of condoms through vigorous washing. Within nine months, the naturally free-spirited author asked for a divorce and began--under the close (and, by her account, sexually obsessed) scrutiny of male church authorities--a painful odyssey of self-liberation that included two further marriages, two nervous breakdowns with hospitalization, and the slow recognition of her worth as a woman. Throughout, Laake tends toward emotionally colored, often awkward, writing.

I believe that we must each serve God according to our own conscience. I do not believe in any church controlled by a male patriarchy. I am a Christian but I have not nor will ever be LDS. I do not believe that the author' perception of God and Christianity to be correct according to the Bible. But God gives us the free agency to live according to our conscience. I see her as following what she believes is right at this moment. Our religious liberty gives us the right to do that in the United States.