Alisa C. (wintermask) reviewed on 2/2/2012 + 22 more book reviews

I expected this book to be light-hearted. While there was a certain amount of self-referential humor, the author does seem to delight in sniping at "mundanes." She also does refer to herself in the third person (although she does call it a "frivolity and affectation" in her introduction), but I believe this is a reference to a well-known newspaper columnist who writes on etiquette and refers to herself in the third person. My main peeve is that the author has really only two pieces of advice to offer, whether one is or is not a Goth: 1) Never assume, and 2) Do unto others as you would have done unto you. All her topics can be neatly distilled into these two maxims. And these are certainly good maxims to pattern your social interactions upon, no matter who you are. My impression is that Ms. Venters expects her readership to be mainly under 20 and requiring much repetition of her main points. However, she does use different topics, such as gossip, parental attitudes towards Goth dressing, and romance, to illustrate her two pieces of advice. She gives solid advice on specific ways to apply the two rules in various settings, and that may be helpful to both a younger audience and an older. As an avid advocate of etiquette and manners, I found one quote particularly effective: "Social conventions do not exist to help us be honest about our feelings. Social conventions exist to ensure civilized behavior so that people don't go trying to strangle each other over coffee." Ms. Venters' book advocates social conventions (or more simply, "manners") in a method entertaining and accessible, particularly for a younger audience. If she were a bit less snarky about non-Goths, her message might be a bit clearer. However, any book that strives to educate about not just the rules of etiquette, but the REASONS manners & etiquette exist, gets a "thumbs up" from me.

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